This is a bit (read WAY) overdue, but I'm finally getting around to typing out Gabe's birth story. As I have said in the past, I enjoy sharing fairly comprehensive tellings of my births...not only for the curious reader out there, but for my own archives so I can look back someday and have it recorded as accurately as possible.
Therefore, if birth stories aren't your jam...feel free to navigate away from the page :)
5 days before my due date (9/22), my mom flew into town as she always does for my births. My mom has attended all my births so far and has miraculously planned her trips so that occurs! Anyway, we spent the week nesting, grocery shopping, and generally hanging out. We went walking, lunging and squatting all over the neighborhood, Costco, Target and various parks. My mom is a fantastic pre-labor motivator.
But this baby wasn't particularly motivated, unfortunately. I would get some cramping and Braxton Hicks contractions while I was moving, but the moment I stopped, they stopped. I was frustratingly comfortable. I mean, I wasn't sleeping great, my left hip was killing me as it had been throughout the whole pregnancy...but labor-wise, nada.
Finally, my due date arrived (a Tuesday). I had an appointment with my midwife to get a membrane sweep (quick re-cap for those who might not know, a membrane sweep is when the midwife manually separates the amniotic sac from the cervix in hopes of releasing a labor-inducing hormone and generally causing discomfort, all to hopefully kickstart labor!) The midwife who did this was quite...gentle. In fact, I had to ask her when the procedure was done, because I couldn't tell any difference. I was surprised, but figured she knew what she was doing. Unfortunately there was no labor-inducing discomfort at all.
That day, we went to a park and I did all the park things. Went swinging, rode the see-saw, did squats with the pole and climbed up and down the playsets. I was really uncomfortable and had several contractions. And yet every time I sat down to rest, everything stopped. It was quite frustrating. And all I succeeded in doing was looking pretty ridiculous...
That night we hung out, went to our favorite lookout over downtown St. Paul and the Mississippi River and got ice cream. Nothing.
Not even sure what happened Wednesday. But Thursday, things were getting more uncomfortable, although not stable. However that night, we sat around playing cards and I got a few regular twinges. Hoping not to jinx it, I began timing. They were SO putsy. I kept willing my body to feel more. This is how it happened with Toby, though...and seemed to be an indication that this is just how I labor. I did squats, bounced on the exercise ball and timed. Around 10, I sent my mom and Ben to bed and I laid on the couch on garbage bags covered by towels. I was able to doze, but definitely got increasingly uncomfortable. No real pain...just discomfort. Finally around 3 or 4 am, I decided they were regular enough that we should head to the birth center. Mostly because I was scared that if my water broke we wouldn't be able to get there in time (Toby was born within 45 minutes of my water breaking).
Ben's parents arrived and we headed out. I had some contractions on the short drive to the birth center. We got settled in and as soon as we did, everything stopped. I was SO annoyed. I had woken everyone up to get to this point and it looked like my body just wasn't in active labor. The midwife told us to get some rest and she would check back in in a bit. We fell asleep (sort of?) and I only had a few contractions every hour until about 10 am. I was embarrassed, frustrated and exhausted. There was to be a switching of midwives at around noon. They told us that if nothing happened between 10 and noon that we should head home and could come back in if things picked back up. The last thing I wanted to do was go home. That felt like defeat.
Side note: We had a midwife-in-training that was helping the on-call midwife. However, the on-call (Lori) let the midwife in training (Abby) take the lead. It was the best decision. Abby's instincts, demeanor and mix of professionalism and friendliness were top notch. She was so easy to get along with, and so knowledgeable.
Anyway...We were told to go walking up to the coffee shop about 10 blocks north. The midwife said she had advised that often and never had a couple successfully make it without going into labor. I joked that I would be the first. And ta-da! I was! We walked all the way up and back...no labor.
Be warned...it gets a little TMI here... but labor isn't always glamorous, eh? As we were walking back to the birth center, I felt a trickle down my leg. and then a gush. I thought for sure my water was breaking. I stood in one spot as the ground got wet all around me. I was SO excited. But nothing changed in comfortability, which isn't normal for me. Turns out, when one's baby is putting lots of pressure on the nether regions, and one is walking, one might wet one's pants and not even be able to tell, thus confusing it with water breaking *insert eye roll*
Just add one more embarrassing thing onto my ever-growing list. This was my third kid...you would think I would be a little more in tune with my body...
Anyway. I was starting to get testy and snappy at Ben and my mom. Definitely nothing they were doing. I just so didn't want to go home. At this point we talked to Abby about my previous membrane sweep and she said that it was possible the first one a few days before didn't actually happen. Apparently some midwives don't want to be too aggressive and end up not actually accomplishing much. We decided to have Abby do another one. She warned me that her approach was thorough and less comfortable. Twas true. =) But it definitely got me crampy and I felt things shift.
So we went on another walk. This time we went south to the river. We said that if this didn't do anything we were officially going home. I did squats, lunges and marching. We made it to the river and that same favorite lookout spot we had visited a few nights earlier. And miracle of miracles, when we stopped to enjoy the view, my contractions DIDN'T!
I cautiously told Ben that things might have changed. So we made our way back to the birth center. And I actually had to stop a few times to breathe through contractions. THIS WAS IT!
From 12-3 I had regular contractions. I got into the warm tub to labor in there for a while and it was lovely. My mom, Ben, Abby and I chatted about all kinds of things. During a contraction, I would pause, and then continue chatting. I wasn't ever comfortable in any one position for too long so I went from my knees to sitting to leaning on the edge of the tub and back again every few contractions. I could tell that Abby, though encouraged by some progress, thought this was going to be several more hours. When I got pruney, I got out and tried a few different laboring positions...Ben used a cool scarf thing to help support my belly. I laid in bed for a bit. Finally Abby came in around 3 and said that we had a few options since it didn't seem as thought my labor was very intense. She offered to check my dilation and break my water if I seemed far enough dilated. Or we would go home and come back again when things got more intense. I think her and the others assumed I wasn't as far along as I had hoped, but she didn't want to be to pessimistic She checked me and her face brightened with delighted surprise and she immediately broke my water. Apparently all of that laboring was doing more than they realized and I was already at an 8. As was the same with Toby's birth, as soon as my water was broken, labor picked up BIG time. Like almost immediately it got SO intense. She suggested I go to the bathroom. Contractions while trying to use the bathroom is no fun...just FYI. Next she asked me to have about three contractions while standing, holding on to Ben's neck. I made it through one and said that I had better get back in the tub because the baby was coming soon. Abby commented to my mom that I was "there" meaning that I had dilated to 10 and was transitioning to the pushing stage.
Abby was thinking we had about 20 minutes or so at least, but after I got in the water I had about 1 contraction before I started pushing and then he was out in the next contraction. She told us later that from when she said that I was "there" to when he was born was about 1 minute. It was one of the fastest transitions she had ever witnessed. (She also hadn't really seen someone in non-medicated active labor who was able to carry on conversation between contractions like I was while my body was in active labor dilating from 3-8.)
I remember feeling like I couldn't stop my body from pushing but it also felt overwhelming and like I couldn't do it. I think I was crying, but I'm not entirely sure. It was a super intense birth at the end but was over very quickly. Time felt super elusive. It seemed like moments had passed when they finally cut his cord but it was almost a half hour. During that time, we never said his name-the adrenaline was still wearing off. Finally my mom asked if we were going to tell what it was. I thought Ben was going to say, and he thought I was so we sat in silence for several minutes. After realizing we were waiting on each other, we laughed and then I said, "His name is Gabriel Thomas." We hadn't told anyone the name or that we were giving him my dad's name as his middle name. It was a surprisingly emotional moment that left all of us misty-eyed.
To make it even more special, my dad was flying in and landed right about when Gabriel was born. He came to the birth center and even though he wasn't able to come inside, he met Gabe through the window, Covid style, with more tears. As he walked away he lifted his arms in praise to God. For some reason it was one of the most impactful moments of the whole day. The high emotions, the decision to honor my dad by using his name, my dad (as always) acknowledging and praising God for the joy of a new life. Grateful Gabriel's name represents a man who has always pointed to God in every moment-what a legacy.
And to add to the joy and grandfatherly representation, Gabriel was born on his grandpa Dill's 60th birthday! It was a neat way to be connected to that side of the family as well.
My parents went and got us an amazing post-birth dinner of Mexican food-chilaquiles for me, and a big burrito for Ben. Post-birth dinners are some of the most satisfying. Within 6 hours, we were back home and settling in to go bed. Exhausted, grateful and happy. Once again, our experience at the birth center was amazing, our midwife being so supportive and informative and fantastic. I can't tell you how affirming it was to be in a place that values a mom's perspective, experience-and approaches birth from the perspective that birth is natural and normal and encourages me to be in tune to my body and trust my instincts. Having Abby be so willing to answer my questions and encourage me as I was feeling disheartened was such a gift.
Here are some pictures!
Resting during the not-much-happening time. Love how the birth center feels like your bedroom. It was so comfortable and peaceful.
The cool scarf thing that Ben used to help support my belly during contractions and get the baby into an optimal position.
Chatting with my mom in between contractions. That is the tub I birthed him in.
a variety of laboring positions throughout the day
Daddy with a fresh baby! (The pictures of me with the new baby weren't entirely appropriate for the blog...)
Rockstar Mimi who stuck it out all night and all day with us! We love having her as part of our labor/delivery support team!
