One Month!

I can hardly believe it...
...well let me qualify that.  There isn't just one "it" that I can hardly believe.  There are so many.  Let me tell you what all I am having a hard time wrapping my head around.

*My sweet baby boy Asher is one month old today.  One month ago today at this time I was laying in the postpartum room, snuggling my new little bundle while my hero of a husband lay sleeping across the room.  I was on the brink of a new life, and really had no idea what to expect.  And here we are, one month later...and I can barely remember life before. Before this sweet, poopy, hungry, squishy, delightful little human invaded every moment of my day (and night).

*I can hardly believe that I have kept a baby alive for one month.  Had you asked me before he was born I would have said, "DUH. of course I can keep a baby alive."  But there is something about holding a wriggling newborn with a body that feels like it could break at any moment that makes you second guess your skills.  I have googled, asked, wondered and fretted over many things that have snuck up on me.  These include, but are not limited to:  How Do I Know If My Baby Is Eating Enough?  Discharge from Umbilical Wound.  Baby Acne.  Will His Breast Buds Go Away?  Irregular, Erratic Breathing Patterns.  Blocked Tear Ducts.  (and many more).
I have realized that the newborn stage isn't my most confident stage.  But I am learning to enjoy it and have realized that this little guy is more resiliant and sturdy than I give him credit for.

*My body.  I can hardly believe what it went through to bring Asher into this world.  I can hardly believe how incredible it is that it now heals on its own (with a little help from me), and begins a whole new process of functions.  My body produces all the food Asher needs.  It hasn't been without its challenges, though.  I never knew the frustration, the wondering, the pain and more googling that goes into this.  I am grateful to be able to exclusively breastfeed, and it has gone better than I've heard it go for some.  But there is still a learning curve.

*The Awe. I can't explain how truly awesome it is to hold this little boy, and just stare at him, soaking up his little existence.  As he nurses, I am in awe.  When he gazes around with his inquisitive and serious gaze, I am in awe.  When he makes eye contact for even a brief moment, I am in awe.  When his little fist closes around my finger, I am in awe.  As he wails until cuddled close and then goes instantly quiet, I am in awe.  As I look at his incredibly intricate and perfect features, I am in awe.   I spend my days with this child and we are already connected in ways that are much deeper than I could have imagined.

*I can hardly believe what I do now that I never would or could have done before.  Running on low sleep.  Getting out of bed so quickly when he begins to wail in the night.  Sit up for an hour at a time in the middle of the night to feed him.  Perfect the shortened shower (and yes, I do shower daily...it is a glorious reprieve for me).  Make coffee, breakfast and a number of other things one handed.  Perfect the right angle, pressure and bounce of the cuddle-hold that settles him.  Talk about poop, gas, and other bodily functions freely and easily and often with much joy, if they are happening regularly.  Take an inordinate amount of pictures because he is just. so. cute.

*I can't believe how much I love my husband.  He is so sweet with Asher, holding him, talking to him, taking him so I can sleep.  He has a servant heart and never stops asking if there is something I need or something he can do for me or Asher.  He takes me on date nights with surprises that bring joy to my heart and rekindle the fire in our relationship.  He gives hugs, back rubs, and cuddles when I need them.  He listens to me as I have a myriad of emotions, thoughts, doubts, joys and frustrations that are woven throughout my day.  Ok, I can believe how much I love him. It is a joy to parent and do life with him.


Those are some of the things that have filled this past month.  I am blessed, grateful and overwhelmed by the changes (wonderful and challenging) and can't wait for what the next month will bring!

On to pictures! Sorry there are quite a few.  =)

This kid has perfected the grouch-face.  But it's so cute! 

He has also perfected the sleeping.  Which is also adorable. 

I, too have perfected the napping....

Daddy time! 

(Ben reading him books)

Superman pose

hehe.  I couldn't resist.  

ONE MONTH!!  

A little about Asher at 1 month:

-Loves eating and sleeping and pooping, especially right after Mom or Dad changes his diaper

-Sucking is his favorite.  Sleeve, thumb, fist, paci, me, any exposed skin, bottle...or nothing if it comes down to that.  He'll just work his little mouth as if he is sucking something. 

-He sleeps about 3 hour stretches at night.  Sometimes 4 if we are lucky...sometimes 1-2 if we aren't.  

-Snuggles are his favorite.  Hold him close, hold him tight and he will be your best friend.  

-He sleeps best and longest on Daddy's chest, but will sleep in his bed if he is fully asleep before going in there. 

-He loves the carseat and swing and carrier.

-Bathtime is a mixed bag, he loves water on his back and head, but not his tummy so much.

-He is just starting to coo, make eye contact and react to talking/singing

Basically he is just a sweet buddy.  And we love him a lot.