Being Asher's Mama

Being Asher's mom is something that seems hard to put into words...but I'm going to try.
I've been at this whole mom thing for a whopping 7 months, and it is everything I dreamed and nothing I could have imagined.  I am learning so much about this little person, so fresh and new to the world...and learning even more about myself.  Ben obviously plays a big role in our lives, but for the sake of space and time, I'm just going to focus on Asher and I.

We have a good rhythm, Ash and I.  Our days are relatively predictable, and I like that.  I thrive on structure, even though I fight to keep myself from the rut of monotony. I'll quick run through a typical day, and then move on to things I've learned.

6:30-7 am: Asher wakes up and fusses about.  Ben normally brings him into bed where I nurse him and we both fall back asleep until anywhere from 8:30-9:30.

8:30-9:30 am: We wake up, lay in bed, talk and smile at each other.  Asher is such a good waker-upper.

10 am:  I take a shower while Asher sits on the bathroom rug playing with a tube of butt paste (interestingly it is the one thing that keeps him occupied in the bathroom the entire length of my shower).  We listen to the Donut Man or Mary Rice Hopkins every morning.

The afternoons look generally the same...but times vary.

Asher used to nap every 2 hours.  He loves napping.  We are down to two naps a day.  Mid-morning and afternoon.  In between those (the times vary depending on activities, when we woke up, etc...) he eats lots of delicious fruit and veggie combinations, we try to do one outing a day and get some chores done around the house.  I actually do chores while Asher is awake.  He has learned to occupy himself while he can see me going from room to room doing whatever.  I use his nap time as "me time" where I browse facebook, write a blog post, read, sleep etc...

Daddy gets home about 5:30-6.  We wait at the window for him.  Then we eat dinner, play until 8.

8-8:30 pm: bathtime, bedtime routine.

Then Ben and I have our alone time after that!

Things I have learned about Asher:
-He truly is a happy boy.  He wakes up happy, smiling and cooing at me.  He loves attention and will squeal, flap his arms and grin wide whenever he can get some interaction with me or anyone else.
-He thrives on schedules too.  He does well with predictability as far as when he eats, sleeps and is even a regular pooper.
-While he is social like me, he is thoughtful and observant like Ben...often seriously taking in his surroundings before becoming fully at ease and diving into smiles, laughs and interactions.
-He already has a sense of humor...fake coughing to get my attention then grinning wildly when I look his way.
-He is a snuggler.  I knew this was possible even when he was in the womb...as he would wedge himself up under my right rib cage as far in the corner as he could go.  He loves being held, being snuggled and it's obvious that physical touch is a love language of his.  (example of this: one night he was so fussy in his crib.  I went in and put my hand on his chest.  He gripped my arm and began to settle down.  As long as he could be touching my arm or hand, he was calm...it was a long night =P)
-The kid loves food.  In this way, the apple did not fall far from the mom or dad tree.  There is a recommended serving size for his age and he eats easily two to three times that much.  My ECFE teacher said that he will let me know when he is full, by turning his head away or spitting out the food...and I have never gotten to that point (unless it is a food he doesn't care for like plain peas...which he stops eating after a few spoon fulls and a good body shiver or two).
-He needs a break from me.  By the end of the day, we are both really excited to see Ben.  He needs the change in face, voice and interaction and I need a break from being needed.
-He loves little rituals.  After every nap, I go into his room and say his name and talk to him in a super lovey voice even before he can see me.  Then when I go pick him up, he is smiling so big.  Then we have this super random tradition of looking at the curtain that hangs by his bed right after he gets up.  For some reason he loves the curtain.  It is the most boring, beige curtain.  But he lights up, and reaches for it and grasps it with the most delighted look on his face.  Not sure why he loves it, but we do it after every nap because it obviously means something to him.

Things I have learned about myself:
-It is a lot harder to let him fuss at night when we are letting him self-soothe than I thought it would be.  Ben sometimes has to literally hold me in bed so I don't run and get him
-I find myself delighting in him...delighting in knowing him, what makes him tick, what he likes, what makes him smile.
-I still can hardly believe he is mine.  I look at him, and he lights up with that look that a baby only gives his mom...It is so satisfying to know I'm his person.
-I really miss full nights of deep sleep.
-I love each milestone and stage he is in.  Each one gets better and more delightful than the last.  They last just long enough for me before I would get bored and then he learns something new and we enter a whole new phase.
-I love taking him out in public and proudly wearing the identity of "Mom."  There is something about that that I really love...not really sure why.
-I am not one of those moms who can't be away from their baby.  I have Bible study two evenings a week and Ben does Asher's entire bedtime routine alone.  I have stayed overnight away from him.  Yes, I miss him.  And yes, I think about him when I'm not with him.  But I think we both do well to have some time away from each other.  It also has really strengthened his and Ben's relationship.  It is obvious they have a very distinct bond that I was worried would be lacking because I'm a stay at home mom and have the most interaction with Asher.  
-This mom thing is tough.  But not overwhelming.  I decided before Asher was born to be intentional about focusing on the positives and not stressing over things that appear to be normal "mom" stuff.
-sometimes I look at him and I can't help but smile because this amazing little human is so incredible, adorable and mine.

In all, it has been an incredible 7 months.  I have been so grateful and humbled by the opportunity to be Asher's mom.  I have learned much and hopefully will continue to learn more, grow and change.  The one thing I hope doesn't change is the depth of connection and love between my boy and I.

Here are some pictures of life as of late!

Never tires of mirror-chats with himself.

This was within a few minutes of waking up. 

Even though it is nice, sometimes it can be frustrating when he pulled such shenanigans the night before...I suppose it is a blessing though, because that smile sure pushes the annoying feelings out of the way quickly!

He loves blueberries.  Although his poo was this nasty black charcoal color afterwards and it was a little freaky. 

One Friday afternoon, Ben picked us up and took us to a few garden centers!  As part of his job, he scouts other retailers in the area and compares prices, plant offerings and potting options.  So while he did all the nerdy horticulture things, Asher and I enjoyed the sunshine, pretty flowers and earthy smells. 

Such a cutie-patootie in his little hooded towel! 

His new favorite toy is the battery operated train.  He watches it with rapt attention as it circles the track.  As it gets closer, he flaps his arms in excitement...and as it passes he leans as close to it as he can, trying to grab it.  We set it just out of reach normally, but every once in a while he gets it, and into the mouth it goes!

Yes, I admit...we take lots of selfies.  But this kid lights up when he sees himself in the phone screen...and so it makes taking pictures so fun! 

Water play is a definite plus of summer time!  

Sometimes when he leans too far foward, he falls like this.  And then stays there for a few minutes as if mentally evaluating his options on how to get out of this predicament.  I would love to know his thoughts as he lays there and then eventually flattens out onto his tummy.  

Walking the dog park!  4 x around is a mile...so when the weather is nice, I try to go a few times a week and do some laps!  Sometimes on the weekend or in the evenings, Daddy comes with us! 

This past weekend was Joe's prom.  He brought his date, Juliet, by the house and they took some pictures with Asher.  Claire and Rose picked out this spiffy outfit for Ash, and he made a great addition to their picture!

Asher and his best buddy Chico. This pretty much sums up their relationship.  All Chico has to do is look at Asher and he is enamored.  Especially if Chico speaks to him in French or Wolof (native language of Senegal).  Asher will miss Chico a lot when Chico returns to Africa in June.  

This past week, Asher discovered sleeping on his tummy.  And boy does he love it.  He now wakes up with a smile AND a good face-smoosh look! 

That little hat.  I can't get over it.  He looks like such a little buddy decked out in his summer outfit!  

I can't believe how much he has grown and changed.  Sometimes I try to imagine what he will be like at 1 year old or beyond... and I just can't.  But I do know that it will be here before I know it and it will all just feel totally right and normal!  

Thanks for sharing a piece of my mommy-journey with me!