recently, I've been trying to communicate with people about something I'm learning and sometimes the only way I know how to do it is to let them in on a personal side of my life.
conversations. the ones I have with God. Where he talks to me and I talk to him.
This is an age-old question...does God really speak to people these days? I mean we know he did in the Bible, but what about now? Does he only speak through people or through the Bible?
Jesus said, (paraphrase from John 10), I am the Good Shepherd...My sheep know my voice and I call them by name...They follow me, because they know my voice. I know my own and my own know me.
But how do we know his voice? Which one is his and which one is Satan's? is it a voice? or merely a feeling? (if you have any thoughts/personal experience on this, feel free to share)
In my Gospel of John class, we had a lengthy discussion on what it means to hear the voice of God... There were lots of questions, lots of scripture verses, lots of personal experiences shared...and it was sort of agreed upon that there is no text-book way to define how God talks to us.
But I know he does. Because he talks to me. It's not like a conversation you'd have face-to-face. In fact, many might think it is me just "talking to myself." Or maybe just the whole "conscience", "devil/angel on shoulders" or "Jiminy Cricket" sort of thing. But I'm pretty sure its not. I'm more selfish and self-deprecating and insecure and distracted to be able to just think all of this up on my own. I can't exactly describe how these conversations go. and often they are compiled of multiple encounters and lessons I have with God. Often times I don't even realize they happened until I try to articulate it later.
ugh. this is so difficult to put into words. Maybe you can relate. maybe you can't. But let me share with you a recent conversation I have had with God about my current situation in life.
(disclaimer: my conversations with God come off casual. Not one you'd have with the King and Creator of the universe. But honestly, that's how he talks with me. So please don't take it as disrespect for the Majesty and awesomeness of God.)
Me: God sometimes I just want to know whats next. could you please give me some clue? or let the job I want call me back quicker. Or show me who I'm gonna marry. I mean, I don't NEED to be married now. but it'd be nice to know... And should I move out or stay with my parents? I mean I don't want to be "stuck" here...but it is good on the pocket-book. and I miss college. not academics, but the school. and i have all this pressure from people that I should go to grad school. but i DON'T WANT TO!
God: Suzy...suzy. Shh...just slow down a minute. why are you in such a hurry to move on to the next thing? I've just brought you to a culmination of a LOT of life events here...Graduation, quitting a job and a road trip. And now you're back. why must you strive for what's next?
Me: Well...I thought I'm supposed to be ambitious and driven and looking for where you want me. Graduation is supposed to lead to career. Quitting a job means finding a new one. I have to make plans and organize my life and all that.
God: But what if I want you right here. in this moment. See what you don't understand is while your mind is rushing with thoughts of what is next, you are missing the abundance I have for you right here.
Me: right here includes no job, living with my parents and no life...all that is right here is just...sort of blah
God: Um...not that I take offense at anything you say to me...but seriously? I could take that personal if i didn't know you. life with me is blah? Come on. i have given you joy unspeakable...peace that passes understanding...a salvation that will take you to glory... and you say its blah?
Me: *sheepishly* well that's not really what I meant. All that stuff is good...
God: Just stop right there. that stuff is good. now sit with me here. just take a minute. and be with me and that good stuff. Because i have given it to you specifically. because i love you, and I want you to delight in what I've given you. And I also have so much other good stuff for you. take a look at the past few weeks since you've been home and tell me that it's blah.
(God also gives me visual pictures in my mind's eye. because I'm a visual learner)
so i muse over the mental pictures that have been the past few weeks:
beach picnics with friends and family.
conversations with my little brother that bond us closer.
a time of worship with music and lyrics that touch my soul.
an unexpected hug from a distant friend.
a letter in the mail from someone thanking me for listening and just being me.
teenage boys with soft hearts who cry and pour out their heart because they trust me and each other.
a sweet text from my dad, "good morning sunshine! have a great day! 143 (i love you)".
a long-distance phone call from my brother and sister-in-law out of the blue sharing laughs, updates and life.
a supervisor at my internship that is so excited to have me back working with him again and asks to see all the pictures from my trip.
sunday school kids who give me hugs and are excited for our times together each week.
an unexpected check in the mail from school that came in time to pay some bills.
And I turn back to God with a humble and grateful heart.
Me: Wow...wow. you're right. in fact you see the tears in my eyes as I remember how amazing and faithful you have been to me. this isn't blah at all! how stupid am I!
God: No, daughter. not stupid at all. merely temporarily blinded by what you thought was bigger and better and where I wanted you. but let this be a lesson to you. next isn't always better. now holds what you need. next is not guaranteed. now is.
Me: Thank you...for reminding me. again.
God: remember though, remain pliable and ready. I'm not stopping here. "Now" might include some pretty big and monumental things. I am here with you through it all. Just like I've always been. Love and trust me with abandon and we'll do just fine together. in fact you'll be more than fine. you'll thrive like never before. (if he had a picturable face, he'd be grinning.)
Me: (grinning back) i can never say it enough. Thank you. for everything. your promises. talking me through this. your patience. my goodness, thanks for your patience. this must be so tiring sometimes, going over this stuff with me again and again.
God: Hardly. any time I can spend talking with you and nurturing you and watching you grow...it delights me. Keep coming back and talking with me. You've made leaps and bounds in your growth with me. and there is SO much more i can't wait to show you! I hope you are as excited as I am.
Maybe that felt like script to you. Maybe you have never had that before. Maybe you HAVE. There is no cookie-cutter way to encounter God. He may speak differently to you. This is just me. I just wanted to share it. Because it is so special to me.
And I don't normally do this, but I want to ask you please do not criticize the conversation I shared with you. It is personal...and it is real...it is vulnerable for me...and it is not yours to judge.
But please feel free to share your own experiences or thoughts on communication/conversing with God. =)
conversations. the ones I have with God. Where he talks to me and I talk to him.
This is an age-old question...does God really speak to people these days? I mean we know he did in the Bible, but what about now? Does he only speak through people or through the Bible?
Jesus said, (paraphrase from John 10), I am the Good Shepherd...My sheep know my voice and I call them by name...They follow me, because they know my voice. I know my own and my own know me.
But how do we know his voice? Which one is his and which one is Satan's? is it a voice? or merely a feeling? (if you have any thoughts/personal experience on this, feel free to share)
In my Gospel of John class, we had a lengthy discussion on what it means to hear the voice of God... There were lots of questions, lots of scripture verses, lots of personal experiences shared...and it was sort of agreed upon that there is no text-book way to define how God talks to us.
But I know he does. Because he talks to me. It's not like a conversation you'd have face-to-face. In fact, many might think it is me just "talking to myself." Or maybe just the whole "conscience", "devil/angel on shoulders" or "Jiminy Cricket" sort of thing. But I'm pretty sure its not. I'm more selfish and self-deprecating and insecure and distracted to be able to just think all of this up on my own. I can't exactly describe how these conversations go. and often they are compiled of multiple encounters and lessons I have with God. Often times I don't even realize they happened until I try to articulate it later.
ugh. this is so difficult to put into words. Maybe you can relate. maybe you can't. But let me share with you a recent conversation I have had with God about my current situation in life.
(disclaimer: my conversations with God come off casual. Not one you'd have with the King and Creator of the universe. But honestly, that's how he talks with me. So please don't take it as disrespect for the Majesty and awesomeness of God.)
Me: God sometimes I just want to know whats next. could you please give me some clue? or let the job I want call me back quicker. Or show me who I'm gonna marry. I mean, I don't NEED to be married now. but it'd be nice to know... And should I move out or stay with my parents? I mean I don't want to be "stuck" here...but it is good on the pocket-book. and I miss college. not academics, but the school. and i have all this pressure from people that I should go to grad school. but i DON'T WANT TO!
God: Suzy...suzy. Shh...just slow down a minute. why are you in such a hurry to move on to the next thing? I've just brought you to a culmination of a LOT of life events here...Graduation, quitting a job and a road trip. And now you're back. why must you strive for what's next?
Me: Well...I thought I'm supposed to be ambitious and driven and looking for where you want me. Graduation is supposed to lead to career. Quitting a job means finding a new one. I have to make plans and organize my life and all that.
God: But what if I want you right here. in this moment. See what you don't understand is while your mind is rushing with thoughts of what is next, you are missing the abundance I have for you right here.
Me: right here includes no job, living with my parents and no life...all that is right here is just...sort of blah
God: Um...not that I take offense at anything you say to me...but seriously? I could take that personal if i didn't know you. life with me is blah? Come on. i have given you joy unspeakable...peace that passes understanding...a salvation that will take you to glory... and you say its blah?
Me: *sheepishly* well that's not really what I meant. All that stuff is good...
God: Just stop right there. that stuff is good. now sit with me here. just take a minute. and be with me and that good stuff. Because i have given it to you specifically. because i love you, and I want you to delight in what I've given you. And I also have so much other good stuff for you. take a look at the past few weeks since you've been home and tell me that it's blah.
(God also gives me visual pictures in my mind's eye. because I'm a visual learner)
so i muse over the mental pictures that have been the past few weeks:
beach picnics with friends and family.
conversations with my little brother that bond us closer.
a time of worship with music and lyrics that touch my soul.
an unexpected hug from a distant friend.
a letter in the mail from someone thanking me for listening and just being me.
teenage boys with soft hearts who cry and pour out their heart because they trust me and each other.
a sweet text from my dad, "good morning sunshine! have a great day! 143 (i love you)".
a long-distance phone call from my brother and sister-in-law out of the blue sharing laughs, updates and life.
a supervisor at my internship that is so excited to have me back working with him again and asks to see all the pictures from my trip.
sunday school kids who give me hugs and are excited for our times together each week.
an unexpected check in the mail from school that came in time to pay some bills.
And I turn back to God with a humble and grateful heart.
Me: Wow...wow. you're right. in fact you see the tears in my eyes as I remember how amazing and faithful you have been to me. this isn't blah at all! how stupid am I!
God: No, daughter. not stupid at all. merely temporarily blinded by what you thought was bigger and better and where I wanted you. but let this be a lesson to you. next isn't always better. now holds what you need. next is not guaranteed. now is.
Me: Thank you...for reminding me. again.
God: remember though, remain pliable and ready. I'm not stopping here. "Now" might include some pretty big and monumental things. I am here with you through it all. Just like I've always been. Love and trust me with abandon and we'll do just fine together. in fact you'll be more than fine. you'll thrive like never before. (if he had a picturable face, he'd be grinning.)
Me: (grinning back) i can never say it enough. Thank you. for everything. your promises. talking me through this. your patience. my goodness, thanks for your patience. this must be so tiring sometimes, going over this stuff with me again and again.
God: Hardly. any time I can spend talking with you and nurturing you and watching you grow...it delights me. Keep coming back and talking with me. You've made leaps and bounds in your growth with me. and there is SO much more i can't wait to show you! I hope you are as excited as I am.
Maybe that felt like script to you. Maybe you have never had that before. Maybe you HAVE. There is no cookie-cutter way to encounter God. He may speak differently to you. This is just me. I just wanted to share it. Because it is so special to me.
And I don't normally do this, but I want to ask you please do not criticize the conversation I shared with you. It is personal...and it is real...it is vulnerable for me...and it is not yours to judge.
But please feel free to share your own experiences or thoughts on communication/conversing with God. =)
2 comments:
Love it love it, Suz. Communication with the Abba Father in His throne room is sweet isn't it? Blessings on the road ahead. You are loved!
~Dan L.
Thank you for sharing that - it's special.
Another familiar way he speaks to me is by feeling or sensing, just knowing what he wants you to do. Look at the opening of Luke (I think) and see why it's in the Bible. =)
And yeah, next isn't necessarily better, but it's moving toward better. TBIAYTC. And I'm not talking about heaven, although that is the ultimate best. God's promise is that the path of the righteous grows brighter and brighter until the full light of day!
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