heartbreak.

there are tears in my eyes as I write this post.

my heart hurts.

I hadn't thought about what moving would mean.

And then tonight, it hit me....Some would say like a ton of bricks. I describe it more like this heaviness that comes in and settles in my stomach. a crack that begins by my heart until it feels like it will rip apart. a lump in my throat that seems to make breathing difficult.

I was overjoyed on most aspects of moving...until i thought about leaving my beloved church in Altadena. (Now please know that I have nothing against the church I'll be going to in Minneapolis. It's not about them. it's about Altadena)

I love the people here. And that doesn't even really begin to describe it. I feel safe, cared for, nurtured, loved, accepted and needed in my little church family. I have grown up here and known most of these people my whole life. Those who have moved have fit right in. we are family. Some by blood...all by the common bond of Jesus Christ.

Here are a few things that I will miss about Altadena:

-Ann and Aaron (the oldest couple in church) and their hugs, kisses and offerings of candy. "Aren't you just the most precious thing!" is what Ann always says to me.

-My Sunday School kids: Cody, Garrett, Caeleigh, Caidan and Nathan. Wow...I'll miss those kids so much. Their joy, exuberance, questions, intelligence, hugs and smiles.

-My Boys: Anthony, Petter, Justin, Seth, Joey and David. Probably the most eclectic group possible. And yet i love them all so much. We eat, laugh, play, sing, cry, pray, talk, joke and just spend quality time together. I'm gonna miss lunch-hour sessions in the conference room with these guys.

-Sitting next to Lynette during church (she always has my favorite candy in her fantastic stash)

-holding Evie and taking in her new-baby perfection. relishing her innocence and squeezing her chubby little thighs.

-Spanish Bible Studies. I've only led some of these, but I have learned so much from these women, and have gotten to practice my spanish!

-The hearts of our three ministers...their teaching and love for God and our little congregation. (Pretty sure not a sermon goes by without tears...)

-Mikey giving greetings from Vons

-exchanging tie information and getting my weekly nose-bop/hug from Virgil.

-Janelle's famous chicken-salad sandwiches, sticky buns and donunt holes.

-Sunday School Picnics, Christmas Program/Caroling, Bible Studies etc...

-Singing up front with the Sunday School. you haven't heard singing til it is done by Altadena's youth. 16 kids. (only four are girls). Harmony, joy, exuberance, and the SAME FOUR SONGS every Sunday.

-I'll miss all the hugs, the laughter, the sharing, the growing, the team work, the service, the teaching, the generosity, the dedication and hearts after God and the over all love that defines my church.

Those of you from (whether currently or in the past) Altadena know what i'm talking about. Anyone who has visited can attest to this. We're a special group and as excited as I seem about this next chapter in my journey...a significant piece of my heart will be here in Altadena with you all. I know I didn't mention everyone, but I didn't want this post to be forever long. you ALL have played an important role in my life. I love knowing you all by name and being able to talk to whomever, whenever.

If you have ever visited or attended Altadena, I'd love to hear things YOU love about it or that touched you or that you remember to add to my list.


i thought about saving this post. but decided not to. this is part of my preparation. i am going to make the most of every sunday and wednesday night I have with these people...never taking for granted the time we spend together! I know church can get routine and we get in a rhythm. But i encourage you to find the things that make your church unique and your place there. write down who you appreciate and why and what other aspects of your church grow, nurture and strengthen you. And then live in gratefulness to God for them. they are your comrades in this battle we have going on here. they will build you up when you are torn down. they will be there when it feels like everything else is gone. God has put them in your life for a reason.
cherish them.

This is my prayer, not only for my church family in Altadena, but for the entire body of Christ.

Colossians 3:12-17

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.