That One Time...

...I underwent a 90 degree temperature change in a matter of 3 ish hours.  This is how an amazing five day trip to Arizona ended.  75 degrees that day, -20 that night.  But that's the somewhat depressing end...so lets start at the beginning!  

My dear maternal grandmother turned 80 the day after New Years.  She expressed that she did not want gifts, she only wanted her entire family together.  And miraculously, we were all able to do it.  Her three children and their spice (plural of spouse, fyi), twelve grandchildren and their various significant others, and five great-grandchildren.  It was a glorious time...it was only missing Grandpa.  I think he would have loved being there with the games, singing, food, pictures, outings... It is such a blessing to be part of his godly legacy.  And it was especially neat to share it with Ben.  He has met them all, either at our wedding or other various times, but this was his first time really spending quality time with the cousins/aunts/uncles etc... 

Anyway, back to the week.  So each of Grandma's kids took an evening to host the entire family.  And on Grandma's actual birthday, she threw herself a grand dinner at her favorite Italian restaurant.  You may be asking why she threw it and not someone else...and the reason is this:  When you are turning 80, you might as well have the exact kind of birthday celebration you want.  make your own guest list, pick your own restaurant, and pick your favorite foods from the menu to boot!  It was fantastic.  There was a great game where all of the grandchildren (no outlaws included) were split into teams to answer questions about Grandma's life.  Things like: how did her and grandpa meet, where did they go on their honeymoon, how many houses has she lived in, etc...  It was really fun to remember all the stories she had told us over the years.  

And let me tell you this, I have one amazing grandma.  She has been through so much, stood by her husband through thick and thin until his death, has raised three wonderful children (I know this first hand, since my mom is one of them...and she is pretty much one of the most amazing people I know), loves the Lord and can make a mean chocolate sundae pie (and butterbraid, and cheese log, and leek potatoes and pretty much everything else under the sun.)  She played a big part in my wedding by helping plan the bridesmaid skirts (picking out material, putting it all together and sending little kits to the girls so they could make their skirts), making aprons for the wedding party to serve in for the Saturday night dinner....and in many more generous ways.  She has taught me some basics of cooking, keeping house, sewing and even a little bookkeeping here and there.  

There could be so much more written about her...but I'll move on to some pictures of our time there in AZ. 

If you're not sure what this is, it's ok.  I wasn't sure either. 

Apparently it is John and Joe wrestling.  Not sure which is which, or which head belongs to which body...but they were having fun at least. 

Ender and Amy watching the whole experience...I think they are a little confused too. 

my beautiful cousin bethany finishing off one of the yummiest salads at one of our big family dinners. 

I was a teensy bit jealous that she got to finish it, and not I. 

We went to the Desert Botanical Gardens, where they had a blown glass display by Chihuly.  It was magnificent. 

so beautiful against the blue sky. 

brilliant colors...this one was SO tall. 

Miss K by a cute little barrel cactus

glass balloon things in the wood. 

Ben, K, Me, John and Portia (my cousin Natalie's daughter)

Karlina by a cactus that is WAY older than her and that is only her height. 

Cute story:  My mom had her picture taken next to a similar cactus and was featured in the newspaper and was quoted saying something about the cactus being older than her, but she was taller.  

So we re-created the moment =)

One of the art pieces with a little editing. 

One of my favorite moments was napping outside, barefoot, in the warm sun.  GLORIOUS! 

Going out for Grandma's special birthday dinner. 

A pretty awesome Mimi reading books to a very attentive Ender and Karlina.  (K looks studious and E looks...well...comfortable)

J&K listening to the story and enjoying some quality together time. 

Karlina dressed as a pretty princess...sharing her ice cream bar with Silas

And then enjoying some herself.  

This went on for quite some time...super cute.  When she would walk away, Silas would follow close behind in case she got generous again. 

"Papa jump on bed?"  

I mean, when you're an almost 2-year-old...all bouncy things are like beds, right?

Silas enjoys tanning his belly...or mainly just showing off his belly button. 

And checking out the competition while he's at it. 

THEY WERE SO CUTE!

Anyway, I was too busy having a good time to really capture any more photos...

Those of us that were there will have those sweet memories locked away forever...and those that weren't will just have to pretend and wish they had such an awesome family as I am blessed to have!

Topic #1

Ugh.  I had all these nice thoughts written down, and I copied them from one place to another and NOW THEY ARE GONE.  So I get to start from scratch.  

This post actually is going to be my musings on some topics that have bothered me lately.  

Topic #1:  I am continually frustrated with the media.  I may receive criticism from people (my high school AP government teacher for one...) for the following statement:  I have little interest in news.  I am content in knowing whatever information happens across my path, but I generally do not seek it out.  I have enough other things on my mind...my own personal battle fields...to take on the problems of the world.  When I worked at the Adult Group Home, they had the morning news on, the afternoon news and the evening news...so no matter what time of day I worked, I generally got the news.  I'll admit that it was interesting.  But you know why?  Because it was sensationalized.  and almost everything was negative.  After a while, I wanted to throw a pillow at the TV and shout, "WHY ARE YOU POINTING OUT ALL THE BAD STUFF!!"  

I am about to make another statement...you may or may not agree with it.  I guess I really don't care, since it is still in the early stages of "theory."   

 I think that the more negative things are focused on in the news, the more it will encourage negative things to happen.  

Now before you jump into your arguments for why I'm wrong...hear me out.  We're gonna dig a little deeper here.  With all the technology today, I would argue that some kids are lacking integral human attention.  When a kid gets fussy, mom puts him in front of the TV instead of giving him one-on-one attention, this is where the cycle begins.  (I can already see some of my mother-friends' feathers ruffling.  Take a deep breath. I'm not saying that it is always wrong to distract or entertain your kids with technology...just follow my train of thought and take what I say with a grain of salt, okay?)  

So lets say that the more often technology distracts, the easier it becomes to make that the go-to instead of attention.  And sadly, I think this is how a lot of people live.  They work too many jobs just to make ends meet.  They have little to no time.  They are a single parent for one reason or another.  And it leaves kids fending for themselves.  I would even go so far as to say, in some cases, it can leave kids feeling lonely and desperate for attention.  

This is why we have young girls going out and getting involved with a guy and getting pregnant. 

This is why we have kids joining gangs. 

This is why we have mass murderers setting off bombs, shooting up schools and any number of other things.

These kids grow up...generally in the shadows.  Never popping up on anyone's radar.  Not really special to anyone...even their families.  And they see the news.  They know that if you go into a school with a gun and shoot it up, then people pay attention to you.  All across the state.  All across the country.  Your name goes down in history, along with Benedict Arnold, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Wilkes Booth, Adolf Eichmann.  Forget that they are infamous for doing some pretty underhanded things (to say the very least).  

They are remembered.   

And when they do those things , the media jumps on it.  It is front page news.  Airing on all the TV and radio stations.  We follow the stories to get every last gory detail.  We are a sensational people.  And the media just feeds us what we want.  Forget that these are real people who are suffering...who lost kids...who aren't sure how they will wake up tomorrow and keep on living.  Forget that the perpetrators were someone's kid, went to school, ate, slept, watched TV and were afraid of the dark like "normal."   

Oh wait.  We are interested in these things. We want to know what the parents did wrong.  We want to know how someone could have a completely "normal" childhood and end up so twisted.  We wait for that one story where the mom was interviewed to see if she "saw it coming."  We read interviews with classmates who say, "He was just a normal guy.  Kind of quiet, had a good sense of humor and was a great student."  Then we begin scrutinizing the normal people around us, wondering if any one of them is going to snap and plant a bomb in the office building where we work.  

What is wrong with us?  And I say "us" because I am a part of it.  I get caught up in the wave of it all.  And probably even more so, because I am fascinated by crime and the criminal mind.  I know that is no excuse.  

Back in the old days when it took the Pony Express weeks and months to deliver news, it was pretty straight forward and ultimately far removed from the general public's lives.   Now these bits of tragic news are at our finger tips, in our living rooms and blasting through our radios. 

*sigh*

So remember this is just a theory.  And I am semi-venting.

Mainly because I think that if the news focused on all the good that was going on, it might be emulated more, eh?  I mean if I were a kid who was starving for attention and I saw that people who volunteered at soup kitchens or went out of their way to assist those in need got "sensationalized" on the news, I'd go that route.  Shooting up schools wouldn't even enter my mind as a way to get attention. 

Maybe if there were other problems with me. 

But as a way to get attention?  Nope.  because in my new utopia, the perp would be briefly mentioned (if at all), the focus would be on the victims and their memory, stories about who they were as people, loved ones, family etc...

I don't know.  It's not perfectly figured out. 

But until someone else smarter and more of a mover/shaker than I am figures it out...I'll go back to being present in the brokenness that surrounds me right here in my own neighborhood with people I am invested in.  This is where I'll put my energy. 

The world may never know my name. 

I may never be written about in history books.  

But...

 I am my husband's wife...he adores me. 

I am my client's VIP...he likes it when I cook Alfredo noodles.

I am my parent's daughter...they are proud of the woman I am.

I am a daughter-in-law...I think they like that I married their son.

I am a sister...#1 target for teasing and brotherly love.

I am a Sunday school teacher...they like the prizes I give them.

 oh yeah, and I teach them about Jesus. 

I am Auntie...'nough said.

I am Daughter of the King...name written in the Book of Life. 

And trust me, I'd rather have my name there than any old history book that some kid just reads and throws away after school.

And to the best of my ability...with the help of the Lord, I will fiercely love the children in my sphere of influence so that they will have just one more person in their corner...and hopefully grow up to be men and women who fight back against the darkness and continue the cycle of love and affirmation to those around them. 

Even so, Lord Jesus...come soon. 

p.s. looks like I just got to one topic today.  I'll get to the rest later...trust me...there's more =)

Christmas re-cap

Ahh...a new year.  I can hardly believe that 2013 is behind us and there is a whole year of possibilities ahead.  Given how the past two-ish years have gone, this year could hold just about anything.  Which is both terrifying and exciting!  I have a LOT of pictures to share from the past month.  MONTH.  a lot has happened.  Hence the blogging hiatus.  

First, I'll do my updates: 

I transitioned from Adult Group Home care to Adolescent foster care. Our program is the last stop for these kinds of kids.  No other program in MN or the four surrounding states will take them.  Their families have given up.  we are the last hope.  No pressure, or anything.  

Because of this, the county is paying handsomely for our services.  The staffing is the baffling part.  Necessary, but crazy!  right now, we only have one teenage boy.  and 3 staff on all day with him, with 2 awake overnight staff.   (Thankfully we have some pretty great staff!)  He is getting constant 1-on-1 attention, which we think is the missing piece of the puzzle.  Our hope is that if he has someone with him, giving him positive attention at all times, or at least is there as support, he won't go looking for attention using maladaptive or negative behaviors.  I can't go into the details of his diagnoses and such, but I can say that this boy needs a lot of loving...but I think he'll make significant progress with us.  He has a toolbox filled with tools that get him what he wants...tools like property destruction, temper tantrums, yelling, swearing etc... Our job is to make those tools ineffective (by not responding and giving in when he behaves like that) and introduce new tools where he can get the same things, but by much more civil, appropriate and safe means.  It is kind of like the basics of beginning parenting, but with a teenager...and one who has a traumatic brain injury and other disorders due to tragic circumstances in his early childhood.  It is challenging, but ultimately I'm doing what I've always wanted to do.  Working with broken kids...the ones everyone else has given up on.  I may not be in probation, but this is no less challenging.  and I love it. 

Ben is doing well too.  Work has been pretty stressful, due to end-of-year madness and preparation for the spring season at the greenhouse.  After a 5 day trip to AZ (pictures to come), he came back to work rejuvenated, with new perspective and has had a good and productive week so far.  

People always ask us how married life is...and in a word it is...Right.  I don't really know how else to say it.  We often find ourselves sitting quietly next to each other on the couch or somewhere and just look over at the other and say, "This feels so right."  It is comfortable and it flows...and even with bumps along the way...it's just...right.  i think this is how it is supposed to be.  all of you marriage veterans might be saying that this is still year 1 bliss...and that may be true.  I've said this before, but don't think that it is all rainbows and butterflies.  It isn't like honeymoon phase continued.  The giddy happy stuff involved with wedding and house setting up and all of that is passed.  It is now settled. and it is right.  and we thank God frequently for that.  Because it is all at his hand...this we know for sure. 

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Pictures! 

Saturday Mornings (sometimes...when I don't have work...)

Ben makes amazing breakfast tacos....Sierra just hangs out sleeping.

The other weekend we took the kiddos for a weekend so J&K could go away for Krissa's bday.  We went to Mall of America because it was coooold outside. 

Went on a carousel.  They loved it!

And I love him. 

He's so good with the kids. 

This weekend clarified two things:

1. we are happy to just be Auntie and "Untle" Ben for right now

2. When we do have kids, there is no one else I'd rather parent with.  We made a good team =)

Perk of having children.  When one can't find a kleenex in an emergency nose situation, a clean diaper works =)

Making Christmas cookies!  

We won't show you the decorated ones...not so pretty. 

He's so domestic =)

Filled up my truck from empty to full for under $60.  Hasn't happened like this for a loooong time.

On days that are not sub-zero, we take Sierra to the frozen lake and throw balls.  She loves it. 

Slips and slides on the ice and kicks up huge snow clouds.

She gets her face all covered with snow and is wild and free =)

We bundle up and take our noses out for some freezing good fun! 

Beautiful winter sunsets. 

Ben's sister Rose had a solo in her school's concert.  

My first gingerbread house making session!!  

Claire and Rose shared one.  they are quite creative. 

Joe helping Maria with her caulking. 

Sam and Georgia working hard on their masterpiece. 

Our final product.  Complete with felled christmas tree and fire pit. 

=) 

Our little gingerbread neighborhood. 

The Dill's dog Nan waiting for our niece Hanna to drop some cheese. 

Joe got some awesome glasses in his stocking.  it is a huge straw that wraps around the glasses and his head. 

beautiful nieces:

L-R

Eva, Maria and Hanna

Delicious taco bar for Christmas celebration dinner...complete with authentic Mexican tortillas! 

Ben gave me a beautiful coat for Christmas...picked it out all on his own!  So sweet. 

Sunset. 

Sunrise...on my way to work for a 14 hour day...ON A SATURDAY. 

thankfully my new schedule does not have me working saturdays. or 14s. 

Lake Nokomis on that same morning. 

Christmas was an amazing time.  Ben and I spent a lot of time together and with family.  I had to work on Christmas day...but it turned out to be okay.  Ben went to church and then to visit a friend who is in prison.  I was off work by 6, and met up with Ben for a nice dinner and our own personal christmas gift opening session.  It was quite nice. 

Unfortunately we missed Christmas with Ben's extended family in IL.  But we called in when we could and we felt a little bit closer.  

Next post will have some pictures from our recent trip to Arizona for my grandma's 80th birthday.  

au revoir!