Well blog-consuming world, here is the latest.
I have been doing a Bible study with some ladies from church around the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It is a really good, convicting book. Lately it has prompted thoughts to stir in my heart and mind around the concept of this world is not my home. I think I have always known that...even believed it...but it hasn't really sunk in. As I still continue to battle the emotions and feelings of identifying a place that feels like home, I have come to realize that maybe I'm struggling too hard. Maybe this is the lesson God has for me right now. That maybe I inability to call where I am home, with finality and confidence, is because it isn't my home.
This is so hard for me. It tears at me. I know what feels comfortable to me and I want THAT. But it brings me to a crossroads, where I must choose. Am I fully in love with Jesus, desiring relationship, acknowledging his majesty, realizing his grace, longing for my home with Him...? Or am I willing to let this be home, as long as I have what I need and want? If eternity could be in my favorite earthly location and with my favorite people doing my favorite things, with my favorite sights, sounds, smells without Jesus, would I be okay with that?
My Christianized self says, "Of COURSE not, don't be ridiculous!" But a little voice inside me pricks me saying, "But isn't that what you keep seeking after here? Is Jesus really top priority, or is feeling comfortable and 'at home' your daily goal."
And boy is it convicting. In fact it brings tears to my eyes to think about how me-oriented my view has been. How I have been trying to invite Jesus into my picture of how life should be, instead of humbling myself enough to see how I fit into His picture. It is so easy to get tunnel vision, because I have no idea how to picture my future, eternal home. I can picture earth home...and what that kind of comfortable feels and looks like. But it is hard to long for something I don't know how to long for because I have never seen it or experienced it.
So my prayer lately has been to really let go of my idea of "home." To allow home to be beyond here and now, even if I can't picture it. To fall so in love with Jesus that I long to go be with Him, and cannot imagine now or eternity without him.
Now, on to other updates. Actually, nevermind. You'll have to wait for my Christmas letter for that. I'll just include some pictures, because you can never have too many of those.
This actually isn't as bad as it has been, but see the kibbles of dog food on the floor? Well Sierra decided to get picky about the kind of food she eats after getting sick from some medication she had (for Lyme Disease) and vomiting her food a lot. For several days, she was refusing to eat her normal food (we had just bought a 40 lb bag) and so we bought a smaller bag of another kind to mix with it. Unfortunately we have a really smart dog, and she would take a mouthful of food, and spit out the old kibbles and eat the new ones, leaving semi-soggy bits of dog food all over the floor. *sigh*
Fede turned 20 while he was here in the Twin Cities! we had a fun time celebrating with him!
my MIL gets a CSA box and last month had a LOT of root vegetables. They were so pretty though.
Went to a Fiber Fair and they had so much...well, fiber. I got a super soft and warm Angora Wool ear warmer. But I loved looking at the tables of yarn. I wish I knitted or crocheted...
This little beauty is growing every day. And her smiles are so contagious!
As are this one's. I am really blessed with such beautiful neices (and nephews) on both sides!
Back to the dog. She has been doing pretty good roaming free during the work day, but if I come home, and then leave again to go grocery shopping or something, she lets me know just how bummed that makes her. The last few times, she has opened drawers, cupboards, and pulled things off counters. Destroyed a lot of stuff in less than an hour. This is her in her shame corner after we got home and saw the mess. She now relegates her self there, when she knows she's been naughty.
Speaking of naughty. on one of those days when she opened the cupboard under the sink, she pulled out a bottle of dish soap, chewed the cap, and left it on the carpet. 1/3 of the bottle leaked into a nice little pile on the rug.
Let me just say, soap is not easy to get out of a rug. Especially 1/3 of the bottle. We had buckets of suds we got up. Til we got wise and went out to buy a little wet/dry vac. Still took forever.
Didn't realize it would suds out of the vac, so before we got wise and put the whole thing in a trash bag, it got all over.
The only downfall to a dog making messes and not kiddos, is that they can't learn their lesson by helping to clean it up.
This made me and the social studies teacher chuckle. All the 1st graders were told to write what they wanted to be when they grew up, and draw a picture of it. This kid said he wanted to work at our school...and this is what it apparently looks like.
Some days, that is most definitely what it feels like to work at our school!
=)
For Thanksgiving dinner, I was in charge of the salad, so I decided on an inspiration from Ben and I's favorite Russian restaurant.
Mixed greens, wine-poached pears, goat cheese and I added some candied pecans and shaved fennel.
This pear had a cute smiley face on it!
Our Turkey. 22 pounder. Grilled. I have never had a grilled turkey. But it was yummy!
Our lovely table...we had such a fun and diverse group!
Fascinating that iPhone only has a temperature warning for too-hot...I can guarantee that my phone's problem was not being in danger of melting.
Christmas tree shopping with my SIL, Rose.
She loves the cute little ones.
Our cute little one. Still have to get ornaments, but it is still really nice.
It is always a treat when these five get together and sing. It isn't as often any more due to kids in college, and busy lives...But they are wonderful.
In case you think our dog is only a terror...here is a cute picture of her waiting for Ben, who was skyping a friend in our room. She really is sweet and loyal.
My view during the school day. The teacher I work for and two of our students.
my little buddy actually working! Yay!! this is a pleasant view that doesn't always last very long, but makes my heart happy when it does happen.
my morning starts off with this little lady...doing a movement break. Sometimes a 15 minute chunk of free movement is all a kid needs to help keep their bodies calm. We bounce, run relay laps, do hula-hooping, balance beam, and stretches/cartwheels.
Today I walked through the cemetery. And no matter what time of year, it is beautiful, peaceful and just what I need sometimes at the end of a long day.
Thanking the Lord for this temporary home, and fixing my eyes and heart on my eternal home.
au revoir.
