Europe Finale

Well my apologies for not getting this done sooner.  But it was really good to be able to have a week of recovery and getting back into routine when we returned home on Sunday evening.  So thank you for your patience, and I will finally finish the second half of our trip!

We left France and traveled back to Tasha and Bjorn's.  We spent the weekend with them before heading out to Southern Germany and Austria.  It was neat to go to church with them as well!  Meeting people was interesting, as not many knew English, but it was nice to have translators there =)  During the service, Bjorn sat in a little room off the balcony and translated the sermon for Ben and I into headphones we wore.  He did a good job, and it was a good sermon preached by his dad.  The songs (although in German) were for the most part all familiar melodies, so we sang along in English!  

Monday, we left for Munich, Germany.  Tuesday we went to Dachau Concentration Camp Memorial.  It was...I'm not even sure I can come up with an adequate word.  There were so many thoughts swirling in my head as we walked around.  The memorial was very well done and incredibly informative, heartwrenching, inspiring, moving and deep.  I would recommend a visit to a concentration camp to anyone who has never been.  

This was the entrance.  This gate was the gate all the prisoners walked through.  Really small, considering how many people were herded through them.  On the gate is a sign in German that reads "Work is Freedom."  It was meant to be taunting, as their work was not going to lead them to freedom.  

This was directly to the left as you walked through the gate.  A HUGE open yard area where they did prisoner counts.  And beyond is one of the barracks.  There were only two barracks standing out of several dozen.  And those were actually replicas built to be exactly as the ones 70 years ago were.  

Inside one of them, they showed the various stages of prisoner quarters that changed as they kept packing prisoners in.  

This one was the first.  Everyone got their own defined space in the bunk.

The next phase, they took out the separation boards between each "space" and therefore could pack more people into them if needed. 

The final ones had no space definition at all.  It was just a long flat surface, three bunks high that was crammed with as many people as could fit. 

This is one of the pictures of what the prisoner quarters looked like. 

Their bathroom. 

This is what the Camp Road looked like...it was a long road with barracks off of either side. 

This picture was taken from the camp road, looking out over where the barracks used to stand.  The long raised gravel beds are the foundations of the barracks.  In the distance is one of the many guard towers looming over the camp. 

This is the ditch and electric fence that surrounded the whole camp.  Often times, desperate prisoners would attempt to cross it.  Mostly they were spotted by soldiers in the guard towers and shot, but if they weren't, they were attempting to reach the fence and electrocute themselves. 

Set outside the camps fence was the crematorium.  Dachau was mainly a work camp, and not a mass-murder camp like Auschwitz.  The crematorium was for already dead bodies they needed to dispose of.  They did make a gas chamber in an adjacent room, but there was never any documented proof it was ever used, except for in test-runs.  

This is the outside of the crematorium

All in all, it was really sobering.  And like I said, I would encourage people to go visit a concentration camp if you ever have the chance.  I have to say one of the disappointing parts was seeing all of the school groups there that had kids who didn't understand the gravity of where they were.  They were laughing, joking, looking bored...and it was really sad to me.  Places like this deserve to be--must be-- remembered, as they mark a very dark time in history that should not be forgotten. 

Right after that we drove to Vienna, Austria.  

We stayed in a boarding house that was absoultely wonderful.  This is the inside of the building where the boarding house was.  If you are ever going to Vienna, let me know and I will pass along the information to this place...it was perfect and reasonably priced! 

There was something about the architecture that was different than both Germany and France.

A statue of Brahms

Ben and I outside the Musikveiren.  It has been a dream of mine since my early teens to visit here.  One of my favorite (fictional) book series was about a Jewish girl who played violin here during the war.  And Ben took me to see a Mozart concert there! 

Inside the Golden Hall was beautiful! 

We were three rows from the front.  Not always the best for orchestral listening, but it wasn't too bad, and it was definitely amazing being that close for the opera numbers!  These were the two who did the opera pieces...and they were amazing!  I generally don't enjoy much opera (and probably couldn't sit through a whole one), but these two did a fantastic job with a few fun numbers from Mozart's operas. 

All the players dressed in period clothes from Mozarts day.  It was fun.  Actually, the man in the center of the picture in the green coat ended up sitting  across from us on the metro on our ride back.  It was neat to talk to him about playing there. 

At night...so beautiful all lit up! 

The next day we went to Schonbrunn Palace where the royalty of Vienna used to live.  It was huge.  And not particularly inviting from the front.  But around back it was beautiful.  We didn't take a tour of the inside, as it was expensive, but really enjoyed the grounds! 

This was a fountain they had out back. 

A view of the back of the palace from behind the waterfall!  

the many intricate flower gardens between the house and the fountain/waterfall

We also went to see another cathedral.  We visited one in almost every city we stayed in.  

Back in Germany for our last few days, we met up with Tasha, Bjorn, Ronny (their neighbor) and Sebastian (Bjorn's brother) for some delicious Mexican food!  (it actually wasn't that bad considering it was in Germany!

Tasha, Alana and I watching the guys play volleyball

I was glad Ben had some time to hang out with the guys from church there.  He had been tagging along with Tasha and I during the day, and needed some guy time =)

We went to Cologne with T&B and saw yet another cathedral.

It was beautiful and so old! 

Ben and Bjorn climbed up to the top (too many stairs for me-533 steps up and then back down) and had a beautiful view of the Rhine River. 

We ended our trip with a picture by the Dill River in Dillenburg, Germany.  It is not too many miles from where T&B live, and it was neat to see our name all over the place! 

Overall the trip was absolutely amazing.  Definitely exceeded my expectations.  Ben is such a great travel companion.  Doing it all was great, but doing it all with him was even better. From experiencing such beauty together to all of our time road tripping...eating yummy food and getting caught in rainstorms.  It was everything a trip should be.  And we are both grateful for good health and safety...not only for us but for Bambino.  I definitely had to say a blessing over my food and water as I was never sure quite where it all came from.  But it was a good exercise in handing things over and trusting God with every aspect of our journey...food included!  

We have tons more pictures and so many more stories that we would be happy to share if you are ever interested.  

Thanks for checking in with us along our journey!  

We are grateful to be home and back into a routine! 

Mama Talk

Ok, so I know I still need to finish Europe recaps, but this was on my heart today and so I wanted to share it.  (FYI, we did make it home safely and have survived jet lag surprisingly well...I promise I'll share more later).

A former co-worker of mine shared a status on facebook the other day about how while she is happy for people having babies, she just can't understand why people our age would voluntarily choose to have a baby.   And it made sense.  And got me thinking.  I mean, mostly I get the grown-up warm fuzzies from paying my credit card bill on time, having car insurance, nailing an interview, keeping my dog alive...but birthing and raising a human?  Nurturing a new soul and body?  Whew.  That's deep.

What in the world am I doing?  In unexpected moments, I have this thought.  It is accompanied by all sorts of other questions.  Are we ready for this?  Will I be a good mom?  Will I be able to keep my baby alive?  What if I mess up?  Why do I feel like I'm only a teenager and so not ready for this?  Are we ready for the financial changes?  How will I handle all the mom-judgement out there for the choices I will make?  Will Ben and I's relationship suffer?

Now granted, these moments are fleeting...and I can easily answer all of them, along with a firm, "by the grace of God."  But they do happen.  And sometimes they do rock my boat a little bit.  Threaten to distract me and shake me up a bit.  I wonder for a brief moment why we voluntarily chose to do this baby thing and feel totally unprepared.  (Ok, ok...that "brief moment" may be a little longer, and accompanied by tears, moodiness and the general appearance of being a complete basket case).

But then I feel a little nudge on the right side of my belly, wedged right up under my rib cage (his all-time favorite hang-out spot).  It still catches me off guard.  But I will never grow tired of it... or the feeling that washes over me every time.  This is it.  I was meant to be a mom.  I have longed and desired to be a mom for as long as I can remember.  I am overwhelmed with gratefulness at the opportunity I have to not only carry this child one more day, but eventually, Lord willing, raise and nurture him, alongside my amazing teammate.   All of the sudden all the doubts fly away.

I know this will work.  I will not be the perfect mom...and I will probably make less desirable decisions more often than I'd like...we may feel a bit tight for cash at times...I will be judged by other moms for some decisions I make...My baby's days are numbered and no amount of worrying will change that...

And like I said...it is by the grace of God that I can even come to these conclusions.   I have been given a gift.  An amazing undeserved gift.  I mean, how great am I to have been given the responsibility of bringing another human being into the world and then raising him?  (answer: not really that great, when I think about it...)

 The beauty of this gift is it doesn't look the same as everyone elses.   Some people are given the gift to love and adopt a child who is in need of a forever home.  Some people are given the gift of parenting hurting children for a brief time before they move on to another home.  Some people are given the gift of being able to love on children around them-whether through their job, as an auntie etc...  Some people are given the gift of carrying a baby in their womb and birthing them.

Each one is carried out by a woman who is unique, strong and has access to just the right amount of grace to get her through life each day with her gift.  And none of us are particularly more deserving, worthy or equipped to be entrusted with this gift of a mother-heart more than another.

Especially me.

So I don't want to take it for granted.  In fact, I have decided to look at each doubt, worry and fear of the present and future to be little reminders of how not to take it for granted.  and how to change them from tendrils leading to discouragment into segways revealing truth nuggets.   For example: I have very little control over the health of my baby.  Some people trash their bodies and their babies turn out perfectly healthy.  Some people follow every rule by the book and things get complicated.  Of course I strive to be responsible and healthy and do what I am able to do to help get the best outcome...But ultimately my baby and I are in God's hands and each day of health is a gift from Him.

I hope some of these ramblings made sense.  I think the bottom line is this:  I don't always feel ready.  I most definitely don't always feel confident.  But I will bask in this gift...in the feeling of this little life moving around inside me...in the grace I desperately need each day and will continue to rely on with each new step in this journey.

Grateful for the many Mama-hearts around me who walk alongside me in this journey, relying on grace, sharing truth, encouraging each other when those waves of doubt threaten to rock (or sink) our boat.

France re-cap

Oh France...

On Wednesday, we left Bjorn and Tasha's and headed out for the coast of France.  Things we learned along the way:

1.  If you are going to drive through Europe and don't have any deadlines for arrival, avoid the Autobahn and other toll roads.  We initially did it to save money (some of the toll routes would have cost up to 40-50 euros...ridiculous).  But it turned out to be SO fun, driving through little hamlets and villages and seeing such a variety of culture.  Plus, you might stay alive a little longer, because the drivers on the Autobahn are insane.  Although it would probably help if we had known that the speed limit signs are suggestions, and really you can go whatever speed you want.  

2.  Don't overestimate how far your car can go on a tank of gas...you might just run out 1.5 hours outside your destination, at 10 pm when all the gas stations close.  But you would only discover this after you wasted more gas by driving to three different stations.  You would also realize that having an American Express credit card would come in handy, but as it turns out, you only have Visa.  You might just pull into yet another empty gas station and sit there for a few minutes, totally unsure of what to do, praying that something would miraculously happen.  Then a man in a dark SUV with tinted windows might pull in, stare at you and look questionable in general.  But your really bold and heroic husband will get out anyway and ask him if he speaks English.  He does, of course, because God is awesome like that.  And he won't mug your husband and take his money and nice Mercedes car, but he will give really confusing directions to a gas station that supposedly takes Visa and then finally say, "Would you just like to follow me?"  So you gladly follow him...right back to the first gas station you went to, which does not in fact take Visa.  Then you might jump out of the car, approach the dark SUV and ask the man if he would consider letting you use his credit card and you can just give him your euros.  He readily agrees.  As he is pumping your gas, he will probably talk your ear off about his schooling in Cambridge, his acupuncture and osteopathy clinic.  You might have a hard time understanding him though, because he is origanally an Iranian who speaks French and learned English in England.  But you nod and smile, because he is really cheerful and kind, and is a God-send who is filling up your car with gas.  He will tell you that you should stay in Caen (where you currently are) instead of going to the town you are heading to.  He will also give you his phone number, email address and name of his clinic so you can call him any time if you need help.
After all of this, you and your husband will shake hands with him, get in your respective cars and wave as you drive off.  Then you will probably marvel at what just happened and send a thank-you prayer to God...because that was pretty much awesome.

3.  Always go for the unknown sauce in the super small and hot sandwich shop in the tiny town that rolls up its sidewalks at 6:30...because it turns out it is the yummiest sauce ever, and you'll wonder how you've ever had a sandwich without it.

4.  Use your best French accent to say the few words you know so that the French people think you are adorably awkward and bend over backwards to get you what you want... it helps if you are pregnant too... turns out, they will ask strangers to move for you so you can sit in the last open seat on the overly packed metro.

5. You can't really impact this one, but I still recommend it.  Get an INCREDIBLE tour guide for your adventure to Normandy.  One that is funny, passionate about history and super informative and dynamic.  One with a delightfully awesome French accent is great too.  Maybe one who rolls his own cigarettes, gives you a hug goodbye and loves Elvis and other '50s era American music.

6.  Get recommendations from people you trust beforehand.  Because they are much more reliable than internet reviews (those people are FICKLE, let me tell you).  And then do those recommended things.  You will have an amazing experience.  The trip will still be unique to you because... you will do something dumb like forget to write down the address to the restaurant, assume people will know where it is anyway, ask 6 different people who have never heard of it, assume you are crazy, the person who recommended it is crazy, and the place doesn't actually exist, finally get a hotel concierge to google it for you, find out it is only a few blocks away, wander for about 45 more minutes, get a little cranky cuz you are hungry, pregnant and it is 95 degrees outside, tell your husband the little sign he saw down a side-street (Ristorante Italiano) isn't for YOUR restaurant, because there could be a million Italian restaurants and you're sure it is down farther, backtrack after 20 more minutes and see a sign that catches your eye, turns out it was the same sign your husband saw, and now you humbly have to admit he was right afterall, enter the restaurant and get seated right away by the kindest French restauranteers you have met so far, eat the most delicious dinner you have had in a while, get extra little candies from the kids candy jar after dinner because you didn't order dessert, but they insist you need something sweet anyway...and you're pregnant, you give handshakes, well wishes and leave totally satisfied and chuckling over the adventure that just happened that only seems funny after your belly is full and you've had a chance to sit for a while.  

7. France has an incredible public transportation system.  It takes you everywhere and has super massive train stations underground that you could get lost in.  Don't get worried that there is every kind of person on God's green earth that rides the metro at all times of day.  Don't get turned off by the fact that people pack on like sardines, and if there isn't room by the time the doors close, you either catapult your body into the other passengers to make room, or else the doors will squash you alive, because they stop for no man.  Don't get caught off guard when said catapulter gets into a French argument with the man he landed on.  But definitely enjoy the fact that arguing in French is hard to take seriously, because they sound so suave doing it.  Try to keep your nose from wrinkling at all the body odor surrounding you, because it will only make you look snobby, because apparently everyone else is used to it.  And if you can catch a 5-part music making ensemble of harmonizing voices, instruments and fun melodies that echoes throughout the subway station, definitely enjoy it.

8.  Take enough pictures to capture the memory, but spend time just soaking it in too...because nothing replaces the mental picture and the thoughts you have as you take in the sights.  =)  But just so you can see some of what we saw...here are some pictures!

My favorite sign on our driving.  potty breaks were imperative!  Due to the heat I had to drink a TON of water...and we all know what that leads to...especially with Bambino making himself comfortable upon my bladder =)

Ben took a picture of my driving set-up.  Good lumbar and neck support really helped the long driving time. 

One of the towns we drove through

Another town...

beautiful countryside for miiiiiiles

So apparently little french places don't believe in forks... First, I didn't know the word for fork. And then when I used hand motions, the guy handed me this little...thing.  No more than two inches long with tiny little prongs...like maybe an olive fork?  So we had to improvise with a piece of styrofoam we tore off of the corner of the takeout box.  

The sign said this stop had a bathroom.  Which was this little shack that was basically like a ceramic sink in the ground that you squat over...no TP.  The side with the door was like a shower I think.  Anyways...desperate times call for desperate measures.  My squat exercises came in handy =)

We drove into Bayeux, which was where we were staying by the coast.  It was the only town in Normandy that was not bombed around D-Day...so there were so many old old buildings.  This old church was one of those.  So pretty.  

The cemeteries are so interesting.  All the tomb/crypts were above ground.  and SO OLD! 

City Central/Main Street.  So many cute shops, restaurants, delis...so fun! 

The Cathedral in Bayeux.  They were setting up for like a Renaissance Fair that weekend, so that is why there are fences and the striped tent things.  It was built in 1077!  That is so incredible to me. 

The inside was amazing too.  And so quiet and reverent.  We were talking after about how no matter who visits a church like this, they have a reverence...even if they aren't religious.  Somehow it just draws this worshipful side of people out.  It was really amazing.

Canal going though town.

Got caught in a rainstorm on the way back too our car...and of course I had left my umbrella at Bjorn and Tasha's.  

Pont Du Hoc...one of the sites of the American Sector where soldiers came up on D-Day.  The uneven ground is from bombings they did prior to the actual day.  And this is the only site they haven't filled in the craters. 

One of the places they put their giant guns that could shoot 8-10 miles with very accurate precision.  After the bombings, they took the 5 of 6 that weren't destroyed and moved them so they could build bunkers for them that were indestructable.  But D-day happened before they could finish the bunkers.  

In one of their many underground bunkers used for a command post or sleeping or storage. 

The cliffs on the beach where the soldiers attempted to get up from the water.  Out of 250 Rangers that left the boats to charge at this site, only 90 made it to the top.  Many drowned, got shot, or went missing in action and were never found. 

One of the bunkers they built.  Guns would stick out that little area and shoot. 

One of the underground barracks 

Our AWESOME tourguide (is it terrible that i couldn't remember his name?!)

Omaha beach at 3/4 tide.  Which was about the same conditions it was when the soldiers charged. 

This sea wall is where the water comes up to at high tide.  The sea wall was there at that time and kept many soldiers alive (if they made it that far) because the Germans couldn't see them from the top of the cliff behind those houses.  

A really touching statue that depicts a little glimpse into how horrific that day was.  

Us at the American Cemetery, where many who died are buried.  60% of the American soldiers were taken back to America to be buried.  And the French gave this land to America to be used for a cemetery.  So it is American land, run by Americans, and they can't have anything for profit there since it was a gift from the French. 

Crosses. 

There were 146 Jewish soldiers buried there had graves marked by Stars of David. 

By the beach.

Traveling cutie. 

Our tourguide took us to one of the 5 ways from the beach inland...one that many tourists don't know about.  In fact when we went, we were the only ones there until we left and another tour van came in.  So it was quiet, remote and really neat.  But it overlooks Omaha beach.  Imagine all the soldiers that had to cross that open land under fire and with landmines buried all under them.  Our guide said that most of the vegetation you see in the picture was gone, leaving it even more open and bare for the Germans to see and kill the Allied soldiers.  Really a sobering moment.  

Our little family.  It was fun taking Bambino to all these places =)

Went to watch the sunset at the beach...didn't make it to sunset, as it doesn't fully set til almost 10, and we were tired.   but it sure was beautiful. 

Sun-glow! 

This was the view outside our window at our hotel in Paris.  

There were many stairs to get to this one place...this was just one of the sets.  And I mastered them.  Was totally exhausted afterwards...but I did it!  

Our visit to the Eiffel Tower! 

Such a huge structure. 

After our dinner we got lost to find, we climbed those stairs to this cathedral, Sacre  Coeur.  So pretty...

...and with such a great view of the city.  There was a concert there that night so lots of people, but it was still nice.  

Notre Dame Cathedral...also beautiful.  Also swarming with people. 

That was my least favorite part about Paris...SO. MANY. PEOPLE.  And it felt hard to really enjoy and get into the history of thingss with people using selfie-sticks all over. 

Stained glass inside.  *sigh* 

The Louvre!  

Also an incredible structure!

Beautiful ceiling art. 

aaaand this was about as close as we got to the Mona Lisa...

Definitely frustrating that there were such swarms of people...again made it hard to enjoy the art.  And it was funny because neither Ben or I could remember why the Mona Lisa was so famous, and wondered if everyone else knew why they were being herded by mob mentality to this one spot.  Seriously, people entered and walked straight there in a continuous flow! 

We did find some quiet empty (mostly) rooms...Egyption and the Mesopotamian mosaics rooms.  It was really pleasant to not be with the crowds and browse freely for a little bit.

  

Sorry these are out of order.  My DELICIOUS veal covered in thin  sliced ham with pasta, butter, sage and white wine sauce.  

Ben got Scallop Risotto....mmmmm it was so yummy! 

Anyway, that was France.  It was delightful...and we left feeling very satisfied with the experience.  I was a little worried about that.  There is so much pressure to "do Europe right"  and I figured there would be things that I was disappointed about.  But so far, it has been really, really great.  

After a few days with Bjorn and Tasha, we are leaving this afternoon for Munich, Dachau and Austria!