One of the *many* things I have learned about myself is that I do not handle unstructured free time well. This has been the case for as long as I can remember. And contrary to what I previously thought, I have not grown out of it.
In the past, the night before a day off was filled with excitement and anticipation. No time to wake up, no obligations, no one to see, nothing to do...it was magical. Until I slept in until 10:30, kind of ate lunch, binged on netflix, putzed around and found myself at the end of the day feeling really dissatisfied and a bit unsettled and generally moody.
Why did this keep happening? Days off were supposed to be the wind beneath my wings! The respit from a busy and stressful life! But instead I felt like I had wasted my time, accomplished nothing and kind of felt like a slob.
So, armed with this discovery, I have faced this new season of my life as a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). Initially, I had that same excitement of feeling totally unobligated to anything or anyone besides the task of keeping the baby alive. That excitement was followed by the weight of knowledge. I knew that I could not allow my days to slip by without structure of some kind. I was further encouraged in that by my mom and husband, who both have experienced me at the end of a day when I feel totally blah after having wasted it entirely. And they don't love it either.
What does this structure look like in my days? Well, when my mom was visiting for Asher's birth, she bought me a great big white board and Ben hung it in the kitchen. On it I have three lists. A weekly to-do list of things that are regular tasks (laundry, vacuuming--we have a lot of dog hair, grocery shopping etc...). A Miscellaneous to-do list (take things to goodwill, Christmas shopping, organize closet, write thank-you notes etc...). And then I have a list of the days of the week. Every Sunday evening, I write what I have going on each day of the week. I try to get out of the house every day. Whether it be a walk to the lake, grocery shopping, swinging by a friends house or even just regular weekly things like church on Wednesday night, I need to breathe other air than my own. For the most part it works really well. Sure, there are days it just doesn't happen, like yesterday when it rained all day and so we cozied up inside all day. But I made it a point to keep busy...doing things around the house that helped me to feel productive.
When I follow this model, I end my days feeling accomplished. And even better, whatever rest and indulgance in doing nothing that I carve out for myself feels deserved and actually seems to accomplish its purpose.
Because schedules work so well for me, I have gotten Asher on board (not like he had much of a say in the matter.) It all came about one day when I was using my free time on facebook to stalk look up old aquaintances who are not technically in my friends list. This one in particular, I'll admit that I looked her up because I think she is beautiful and put together, and I was always envious of her as a young teen and wanted to see where she was at now. I was looking at the adorable (of course) pictures of her children and there on her wall was a link to a blog with a caption she wrote saying how this lady and her technique helped her kiddos sleep through the night as babies. I was intruiged because my sweet baby boy was NOT sleeping through the night and was in fact starting to get needy in ways beyond necessity. Long story short-ish, the technique is based on Baby Wise, and essentially follows a schedule during the day so that he gets his days and nights straight, eats well, rests well and ultimately has reliability so that he can sleep well at night. The first night he cried himself to sleep--took 7 excruciating minutes...Ben and I laying on the couch in the living room in silence as we used each other as an anchor so we didn't run in and cuddle him. By the next night though, he went down without a peep. That kind of proved to us that he was using his crying to get held, not because he actually had a need that had to be met. And when he fussed at his normal 12:30 am feeding, I just popped in his pacifier and he went right back to sleep. For the first week, I still did one feeding in the middle of the night around 2:30. But last night, I didn't do one then at all...and he slept 6.5 hours straight! He got fussy around 4:30, and I fed him and then he slept until 7:30.
Moral of the story: you never know what will come from keeping tabs on beautiful people from your past...it might just help you transform your baby's sleeping habits!
Here are a few pictures of life that I haven't posted on Facebook or Instagram:
A stroller-walk around the lake! He is such a little peanut in that thing!
Beautiful grove of bare oak trees by the lake.
I could watch him sleep forever.
One day he was fussing a little as he was falling asleep in his swing, and I look over and Sierra had layed down next to him and put her head on the swing and was watching him. It was so sweet...she has definitely taken on a more "protective" role. The night we let him cry himself to sleep, she was going back and forth from his little nook, glancing at us with what can only be described as a nervous/worried look on her face. It was as if she was saying, "Aren't you going to do anything?"
This kid produces two loads of laundry like this a week. At least. So many bodily fluids.
Speaking of bodily fluids... For two of our showers, people could write messages on diapers. This one says: CAUTION, contents may be explosive.
Lets just say, you're welcome that I didn't post the picture I took after I opened the diaper...
Comfy on Auntie Claire's couch when we went over to her apartment for Friday morning sibling breakfast!
milk drunk smiles!
Actually, I think he was so happy because last week, he got a NEW COUSIN!!!
Baby #2 of the Klotzle Kousins Krew Trilogy
Between me and my two married brothers, we are all having babies within 4 months.
Anyway, introducing this little sweetie.
Reese Everly
While she looks a bit skeptical of this big ol' world, she is totally adorable. Amy and I have decided we need to get together sooner rather than later for a little baby-snuggle-swap.
Welcome, baby Reese! We are so excited you are here! Can't wait to meet you and to also welcome together the next cousin in the triolgy!
The three cousins will meet officially at Joe and Heather's wedding in March.
How our family has changed this year!
