Embracing the Unexpected.

We got some not so fabulous news yesterday.  Our landlord finally sold the duplex we are living in (which we knew was going to happen eventually).  We had been reassured that more than likely the new owner would probably be glad to have renters in it and so we wouldn't have to move.  Well they were wrong.  New owner apparently wants to live in our unit while renting out the upstairs unit.  And we have to be out by January 6.  To add to that, we will be gone about 2 weeks this month, leaving very little time to find a new place, pack up and move.  More than the actual having to move, we were a bit frustrated with the timing...holiday time just plain isn't convenient.  This stirs up so much in me.  I know that God will take care of us.  But I have lots of feelings that are running wild.  

We are settled here.  I have come to really enjoy and appreciate that.  We just got Asher's little space all situated and it works well.  

What will it mean if we don't find a house right away.  What if we don't find a deal as financially good as this one.  If we stay with family for a little while while we look, it will mean not feeling settled in my own home using my own things.  How long until I sleep in my own bed again?  Use my own dishes?  Cook with my own spices?  

It will mean NEW routine just after I got established in this one.  

It is exciting because it could mean exciting new things.  But I was okay without exciting.  I was okay just having life be.  

I keep looking around and thinking these are the last days enjoying this house.  I get so dramatic with my lasts.  

I want to enjoy my time in CA without worrying about all of this.  Packing seems so insurmountable.  I am overwhelmed just at the thought.  After this, we will have lived in 3 places in 2.5 years of marriage.  It is definitely upending what my idea of "home" is.  And I confess I didn't want it challenged, messed with or redefined anymore.  

People have said how parenting exposes how selfish they truly are?  Well in my experience so far, this is exposing far more of my selfish thoughts and feelings than parenting.

  I feel like a petulant 5-year-old: all I want to do is sit down, cross my arms over my chest and cry about how I just don't want to do it, and they can't make me.  

Embarrassing...but kind of what I'm struggling with. 

*deep breath*

Lord, I give these selfish thoughts to you.  I know they are all about me and my comfort and convenience.  Thank you for holding everything in your hands so that as I work through letting this go, I can trust you will handle it.  Thank you for your patience as I struggle to translate my head knowledge of your provision into heart trusting.  I am grateful that we have such a strong support network.  People who have already offered their rooms for us to sleep in, their time and labor to help with packing or watching Asher, their prayers and encouragement.  It is undeserved given my inner-most thoughts.  Thank you for Ben, because I don't know what I would do without him. 

Actually I do.  I would be a basket case. 

I choose in this moment (as I will need to keep choosing in future moments) to trust you, to keep on moving forward, to be grateful that we have had a home and will have another roof over our heads, even if it looks different than we expected.  

Amen

Life These Days

So much has happened the last few weeks, it may be hard to contain it all in one post.  But maybe if I do bullet points, it will help. 

1.  

Winter is here.  ish.  Not really traditional Minnesota winter. We have had our first [sticking] snow.  It graced us on Thanksgiving day and was beautiful.  The weather has been surprisingly mild.  I love it because it hasn't dipped much below freezing during the days.  It is not Ben's favorite because it is damp and slushy and he prefers the crisp dryness of really cold weather.  After 4 years, I get where he is coming from, but I still am grateful that I only have to pull on a sweatshirt and slip into moccasins in the morning to take the dog out.  

2.  

Asher is growing by leaps and bounds!  He will be 2 months on Friday!  

*He is smiling and "talking" to us in response to our smiles and talking

*His neck, leg and arm muscles are so strong! He loves "standing" with our help

*He is around 10 lbs and is comfortably fitting into 3 month clothes

*Bathtime remains his all-time favorite and even just turning on the water will calm him down immediately

*He is still a snuggler and while he would prefer to sleep in someone's arms, he is learning to do naps solo.  

*Is down to 1 feeding a night.  Generally around 4:30.  Grateful he is a good sleeper right now. 

Morning talks

Meeting Great-Great Uncle Richard

Meeting Cousin Karlina!  She was so good with him! 

"I am very good at holding babies, Auntie!" 

So true, honey. 

He loves being in his sling.  Curled up in a ball and watching the world go by.

Meeting Violet (Girl I nannied this summer).  She also did superbly with him!  

Daddy Time! 

Asher loved meeting and hanging out with Uncle Jim.  It was so sweet to watch them bond a little. 

Yay for tummy time!  

He isn't sure he likes being the most adorable Christmas gift of all time (note the bow on the side of his head)

And then there is this face.  I could look at it all day.  I DO look at it all day.  And I love it.  

I was about to apologize for posting so many baby pictures.  But I'm not sorry.  I often read other people's blog posts about their babies and I don't ever get tired of looking at their pictures and sometimes wish there were more!

3.

  Thanksgiving!!  This year we combined the holidays.  Ben's sister Meg is expecting her baby right around Christmas so they came up here from IL and we celebrated Christmas with Thanksgiving.  

Also during Thanksgiving week we had a special and unique dinner we prepared in honor of the Foreign Exchange student living with Ben's parents this year.  He is from Senegal, and his name is Chico. 

The following are pictures from the past week. 

Four generations represented here!  

Claire had her senior recital...it was beautiful, she was beautiful and it was really neat to witness it! 

Chico and Dale frying the whole fishes! 

there they are!  Once you get past the awkward eye contact with cloudy fish eyeballs, it wasn't so bad! 

It was served with this rice and vegetable dish.  Very tasty. 

We all sat around and ate familiy style off of the platters.  The meal consisted of rice, vegetables and fish, with tea and fruit for dessert.  We also ate at 8 pm, which is the earliest the people eat dinner in Senegal.  If Chico had his way, we would have eaten at 10 pm but we convinced him to do it a little earlier.   We ate with utensils, but he also taught us how to make rice balls with our fingers and eat it that way.  Before dinner he gave us a presentation of his country.  Very informative and interesting!  It has been neat to get to know him...and we have him here until the end of the school year! 

On the day before Thanksgiving, we went to Feed My Starving Children as a whole family.  (Except Mama D.  She so sweetly stayed behind to watch the kiddos who were too young to go.)

Ben and Maria were a fabulous box packing team!  Maria took her job very seriously and did it very efficiently. 

Rose and I looking spiffy in our hairnets. 

Uncle Ben being great with his nieces.  

Love capturing moments like this. 

Crazy family photo after we celebrated Christmas.  There are so many of us...by next year we may not fit on that couch!  

Girls! plus Asher.  

4.  

Life is full of ups and downs.  Wildly unexpected, frustratingly reliably predictable and everything inbetween.  So many things that continually turn me back to the Father for reassurance and hope.  There are pieces of this season in life that are really hard.  Feelings and emotions and thoughts that I don't know quite what to do with.  

But I also have these overwhelmingly peaceful moments of being totally content.  God's hand is in this.  His love and care for me and my family is abundant.  

"From the rising of the sun, to the place where it sets, the Name of the Lord is to be praised.  The Lord is exalted over all the nations, his glory above the heavens."