FAQ Post

Frequently Asked Questions.  And when I say frequently...I do mean frequently.  I'll answer them to the best of my ability, and maybe then when you see me in person, you can ask me other things.  Things that I can give creative answers to, instead of the same-old-same-old.  Don't get me wrong, its not a bad thing you have all been asking the same questions...I just want to get it all out of the way so we can catch up on you, or other life issues, or the weather...you know, the good stuff ;)

1. How are you feeling? 

I'm feeling pretty good.  Tired most days, but that is to be expected.  But my body is generally feeling back to "normal."  Nursing is going much better than it was with Asher at this stage.  Ben says he notices my mood swings, which are still in the process of balancing out.  I get a little weepy from time to time, but most of my feelings and such are typical "Baby Blues."  

2. How is Asher doing with the change?

This one might actually fluctuate, so you can ask me again next time you see me.  He loves Toby.  Like wants to be touching him all the time.  This consists of "tickling" him or grabbing his fingers and prying his fist open to high five him.  Generally it makes Toby grumpy and I'm having a hard time with the balance of letting him love on Toby and telling him to give Tobes space. 

Bedtime and nap time were in regression before Toby was born and are now getting back to a good spot.  However, general attitude and listening have regressed now.  Some days I have far more patience and grace for him than other days.  Definitely exposing my need for Jesus and his strength and wisdom as I navigate my days home alone with the boys. 

3. How did you choose the name Tobiah (Toby)?

Ben and I were really struggling with finding a boy name we liked this time around.  We had a girls name picked out, but when we had our gender reveal, we had to go back to the drawing board for boys names.  We read list after list and asked everyone we talked to for suggestions.  Nothing stood out.  I was reading through lists alphabetically and literally reading every name to see if one jumped out.  When I got to Toby (which showed up on multiple lists), both Ben and I had neutral feelings about it.  I believe Ben's comment was, "I don't not like it..."  So we added it to our possibility list.  As we talked about it, and sorted through other names, it was the only one we never really changed our mind on.  And slowly it took its place as "the positive side of neutral" for both of us.  We didn't absolutely adore it, and yet we didn't really get over it, as we had with other names.  We realized that neither of us had anyone in our past or present who influenced the name, which is hard to come by.  We started to look up longer names that could shorten to Toby (I have a thing about liking names that can be nick-named easily).  Tobias and Tobin were the obvious choices.  For some reason, neither were doing it for us.  We tossed around just naming him Toby, but really wanted to give him the option of a longer, more "formal" name.  We finally found Tobiah.  And we liked it.  Since name meanings matter to us, we discovered that it meant "God is good." And we liked it even more.  

Yes, it is a Bible name, although the person in the Bible wasn't a particularly stellar guy, and we discovered him after we had already decided we liked the name.  

Jacob is a family name from both sides and we really loved the story of redemption that God weaved in Jacob's life in the Bible.  Everything from the stolen birthright to the Leah/Rachel debacle, to his sons becoming the tribes, to wrestling with God...his mistakes, his repentance...all of it is a testimony of God's faithfulness and willingness to walk alongside us, even if we mess up at times.

4. Do nicknames for Toby bother you?

This is not a FAQ, but I'm answering this so that people know.  Some people don't like any sort of nickname or shortening of their kids' names.  They gave them the name they chose and that is that.  I personally like nicknames, as I find them endearing and always liked having several of my own. 

So we've thought of all of these and are okay if you call him any of them...

 Tobo (that is what Asher calls him), Tobe,  Tobes, The Tobester, Toblerone or Toby Bryant (thanks This is Us), TJ and Tobemeister.  

5. How is Toby sleeping?

Really pretty good.  Most nights he goes about 3-4 hour stretches between feedings.  Which usually equates to a 3 am and 6 am feeding.  Some nights its every two hours...  But he is a pretty quick eater and goes right back to sleep.  While I'm tired a lot of the time in the morning, I don't feel ridiculously sleep deprived.  

6. Do you want more kids?  If so, when and how many?

I always find it interesting that people feel the need to ask this question right after I just endured labor and delivery and am in the throes of newborn life.  It's like they want my most biased and least reliably reasonable response.

Honest answer?  We would like more.  The when and how many are things we will play by ear.  I can tell you I don't want one this week.  Or in the next 9 months.  

Actually though, cool moment between me and God happened in the week after Toby was born.  Asher's birth had been a bit traumatic and while it wasn't enough to keep me from wanting more kids, it took a bit of physical, emotional and mental healing to get me in a good spot about going through it again.  And as Toby's birth got closer, I was experiencing a little trepidation and anxiety that I might have to go through it all again the same way I did with Ash.  It was so vastly different and much more manageable than the last one.  So I was showering (I do some of my best praying in the shower), and was thanking God for such a redemptive, smooth and healthy birth.  I was so grateful that my healing process was already much better and that the whole thing had gone so smoothly.  He told me, "I gave you the gift of Toby's birth because I want you to have another baby.  I wanted you to be sure and confident in that and not be scared of it."    

So, there's that. =)

That about sums up the most frequently asked questions.  If you have another question you've been wanting answered, I'm happy to do it in person, or if I get enough, to do a follow-up FAQ blog post.  

We really are doing well and are loving life with two littles.  I cannot wait until it is warmer and we can frequent the outdoors.  March and April are two of the hardest months for me in Minnesota because it feels like time just draaaaags and the weather plays games with your head.

another post coming SOON.  Like as soon as I can write it. Because this one has been sitting in my drafts forever. whoops.

au revoir.