A few Christmases ago, Ben's parents gifted us an overnight stay at our favorite retreat center in Wisconsin. Circumstances and timing never quite worked out until a few weeks ago. We have kids we can confidently leave overnight, no newborn babies, and a desperate need for some time away.
So we retreated.
That word always sounds like defeat or cowardice to me. In the context of war, it is often a sign that the enemy is too strong, your forces are depleted and retreat is needed in order to keep your last soldiers alive or because you are scared. But I guess the truth of the matter is, it isn't cowardly to see that you are overpowered and need to take a step (or a very far run) out of harms way in order to regroup, assess the damage and boost morale.
And such is this season of life for us. We didn't retreat because we are running or hiding from something. It wasn't about being cowardly and not wanting to face the hard things. It was an acknowledgement that we needed to step away. Figuratively and literally. Ben turned his phone off when we left and didn't turn it on until the evening after we returned. I only used my phone for a few google searches on baby names and some rules to a game we were playing =)
So we went. Retreated into the beautiful wilderness of Wisconsin. Into a little "prayer cabin" on the grounds of The Wilderness Fellowship Ministries. Their mission is: To provide a place of refuge, peace, restoration and hope, dedicated to help people establish intimacy with Jesus Christ and those they love.
And it was just that for us. We agreed ahead of time, this wasn't a place to hash out any "tabled" topics we had been avoiding. It wasn't about seeking concrete answers or making monumental decisions. It wasn't about hard talks, intentional learning/growing, or current events. It was about solitude. Being with each other. Listening. Praying.
Right now, in our life, we both feel a bit unsettled. We talked through why that might be, the causes and some possible solutions. We mused over how to hear what God has for us...Spirit-led directives vs. selfish motives. We shared desires and dreams, as well as apprehensions and confusion. It felt vulnerable without being heavy. It indicated the level of comfortableness and trust that we have. We removed the pressure of needing answers and just let the conversation go where it naturally went. And I credit that to the physical stepping away from life as we know it. Work, home, kids...all things that fill our minds and prevent us from this kind of interaction on a day-to-day basis.
And then we just enjoyed each others company. Sat in silence, listening to the breeze in the trees. Took a few walks through the woods. Played so many games, laughing and enjoying some friendly competition. We hit a minor speed bump in communication, but worked it out. We looked at pictures of our kids. We browsed baby names...and came up with very little.
It was exactly what we needed. And we didn't even know how badly we needed it until we actually just took the time to do it. It led to emphatic agreement that this was something we need to make more regular, not only for our marriage, but for our individual selves as well.
Ben found a quote on a plaque in the cabin that said this:
There is a rest in God so potent that the enemy fears it. Rest is a weapon against evil.
(author unknown)
Amidst the turmoil of the world and our country today, with so many people calling us to step into the hard things, hard conversations and hard places...don't forget to rest.
Settling our hearts before God, listening for His voice...it is powerful and we need not underestimate that.
Thankful that our arsenal is refilled, our spirits bolstered and we are ready to advance back into the fray.
