"So what are you studying in school?"
This is the most common question one can get when meeting new people. There must be some rule book out there that says after introductions and awkward small-talk about how great the weather is, the next question MUST be regarding what you are studying or what you studied in school. MUST.
The thing is, when I answer this question, I get a whole volley of spoken and unspoken follow-up questions.
It goes something like this: (spoken in bold, unspoken in italics)
Unsuspecting Person (UP): So you're going to Biola, eh? What is your major?
Suzy (S): *should I just say sociology or say the whole thing?* Sociology and Criminal Justice
UP: *does a mental double take* oh wow!how interesting! *my goodness, criminal JUSTICE? at a CHRISTIAN school? Are you enjoying it?
S: *here we go* Yes, I love it a lot.
UP: So what do you want to be? *can any good come from this field?*
S: Well, I want to be a Probation Officer *Quick! don't leave that hanging! their eyes say you're crazy!*
Lets just say it rarely goes well...and always seems awkward. Its like they want to counsel me out of it, but don't know what to say.
So let me tell you why I want to be in this field. I will admit that I am slightly "tetched in the head" regarding why I became interested in criminal justice. Basically *deep breath*
I love crime.
a lot.
I used to watch crime shows, read crime books and imagine how I could be the perfect criminal. Not for the sake of violence, stealing, killing or the crime itself...but just wondering if I could pull off the perfect crime...all the details and such.
So i decide to study crime...specifically how to catch those super-smart criminals. Mainly because I wanted to outsmart them. be better at their game than them. be able to predict what they were going to do and when. get inside their head to see what was making them tick.
Then my love for human interaction came into play. I met a lady who would forever change my life and perspective on my future. I have taken four of her classes here at Biola...and God has used her in amazing ways to direct me to where I am today.
Probation includes the close interaction with crime as well as the relational aspect. I have a heart for the kids I will be working with. Their parents, teachers, communities and the system has given up on them. They feel helpless, hopeless and are acting out of that. I long to bring justice while administering love and guidance. These kids need someone to believe in them and give them proper boundaries.
This is my heart's desire. the passion God has given me. And he has opened doors so it is possible. This industry is scary and involves dangerous people. But they need the love and light of Christ just as much as anyone else. No, its not for everyone, but I know i can handle it...so why not? Who knows how long I'll be doing this... I'm not making any rash statements about that. But here and now...this is where God wants me.
So let me tell you about my internship. It might give you a glimpse into what I do/will be doing on a day-to-day level. I find it fully fascinating and I honestly love pretty much every minute of it. I am working at a Southern California High School for the Probation Officer there. There are 3600 students (give or take) and 97-ish % is hispanic. Our case load is about 49 kids right now. (which is actually a lot since we have to meet with them and write reports for them regularly).
This Supe (short for supervisor) that I work for believes in a hands-on approach to learning, for which I am extremely grateful. Although, I must say on orientation day, I was a bit nervous. He said I would be writing reports, interviewing kids, talking to parents, making phone calls, filing and navigating the computer systems. It felt like too much, and I wasn't sure I would be able to handle it. And yet, I have absorbed the information like a dry sponge, and I am immersed completely in my responsibilities.
Some of the things I do or have had the privilege of doing. (some may seem small, others large...its all part of the job!)
This is the most common question one can get when meeting new people. There must be some rule book out there that says after introductions and awkward small-talk about how great the weather is, the next question MUST be regarding what you are studying or what you studied in school. MUST.
The thing is, when I answer this question, I get a whole volley of spoken and unspoken follow-up questions.
It goes something like this: (spoken in bold, unspoken in italics)
Unsuspecting Person (UP): So you're going to Biola, eh? What is your major?
Suzy (S): *should I just say sociology or say the whole thing?* Sociology and Criminal Justice
UP: *does a mental double take* oh wow!how interesting! *my goodness, criminal JUSTICE? at a CHRISTIAN school? Are you enjoying it?
S: *here we go* Yes, I love it a lot.
UP: So what do you want to be? *can any good come from this field?*
S: Well, I want to be a Probation Officer *Quick! don't leave that hanging! their eyes say you're crazy!*
Lets just say it rarely goes well...and always seems awkward. Its like they want to counsel me out of it, but don't know what to say.
So let me tell you why I want to be in this field. I will admit that I am slightly "tetched in the head" regarding why I became interested in criminal justice. Basically *deep breath*
I love crime.
a lot.
I used to watch crime shows, read crime books and imagine how I could be the perfect criminal. Not for the sake of violence, stealing, killing or the crime itself...but just wondering if I could pull off the perfect crime...all the details and such.
So i decide to study crime...specifically how to catch those super-smart criminals. Mainly because I wanted to outsmart them. be better at their game than them. be able to predict what they were going to do and when. get inside their head to see what was making them tick.
Then my love for human interaction came into play. I met a lady who would forever change my life and perspective on my future. I have taken four of her classes here at Biola...and God has used her in amazing ways to direct me to where I am today.
Probation includes the close interaction with crime as well as the relational aspect. I have a heart for the kids I will be working with. Their parents, teachers, communities and the system has given up on them. They feel helpless, hopeless and are acting out of that. I long to bring justice while administering love and guidance. These kids need someone to believe in them and give them proper boundaries.
This is my heart's desire. the passion God has given me. And he has opened doors so it is possible. This industry is scary and involves dangerous people. But they need the love and light of Christ just as much as anyone else. No, its not for everyone, but I know i can handle it...so why not? Who knows how long I'll be doing this... I'm not making any rash statements about that. But here and now...this is where God wants me.
So let me tell you about my internship. It might give you a glimpse into what I do/will be doing on a day-to-day level. I find it fully fascinating and I honestly love pretty much every minute of it. I am working at a Southern California High School for the Probation Officer there. There are 3600 students (give or take) and 97-ish % is hispanic. Our case load is about 49 kids right now. (which is actually a lot since we have to meet with them and write reports for them regularly).
This Supe (short for supervisor) that I work for believes in a hands-on approach to learning, for which I am extremely grateful. Although, I must say on orientation day, I was a bit nervous. He said I would be writing reports, interviewing kids, talking to parents, making phone calls, filing and navigating the computer systems. It felt like too much, and I wasn't sure I would be able to handle it. And yet, I have absorbed the information like a dry sponge, and I am immersed completely in my responsibilities.
Some of the things I do or have had the privilege of doing. (some may seem small, others large...its all part of the job!)
- stamping hall passes for kids who come to meet with us during class
- orientation and interviews for kids and their parents newly arrived on our case load
- trips to juvenile hall to interview any kid who has been arrested
- court appearances when my supe gets subpoenaed to testify
- writing progress, violation and pre-plea (post-arrest) reports.
- filing paperwork (some of our kids' files are foot thick...yes 12 inches)
- filling out drug-testing paperwork
- navigating the school's attendance, grade and student information computer systems
- lunch-time supervision
- calling parents to inform them of situations with their child (sometimes this includes putting my spanish skills to the test, as my supe is not bilingual)
- putting in case-notes charting any interaction we have with the kids into the probation case management system online.
Basically, my job is awesome. I am the only white girl, and sometimes I get funny looks from the kids who wonder why I'm there...but I speak with some authority and they respect me pretty well =)
If there are aspects of my job that you would ever care to hear clarification about, don't worry, if i ever see you in person, I will probably end up talking about it eventually.
So while you may not understand how a young, Christian white girl could be called to this field, I ask that you trust me into the strong, capable hands of our Father.
But please pray. Pray that I will not lose sight of God as I enter this field of darkness. Pray that I can keep hope alive as many of my cases will end with my kids in prison or dead. Pray that I will know if I am supposed to try another career path. Pray for my physical, emotional and spiritual health and well-being. Pray for my family as they have been major supporters, even though I know that seeing their lil' girl go into this field was an adjustment for them at first.
"He's given me a passion for all the little knuckle-heads out there that everyone else has given up on. They call me crazy, but I love it"
-Miss G. (my inspiration and mentor)
If there are aspects of my job that you would ever care to hear clarification about, don't worry, if i ever see you in person, I will probably end up talking about it eventually.
So while you may not understand how a young, Christian white girl could be called to this field, I ask that you trust me into the strong, capable hands of our Father.
But please pray. Pray that I will not lose sight of God as I enter this field of darkness. Pray that I can keep hope alive as many of my cases will end with my kids in prison or dead. Pray that I will know if I am supposed to try another career path. Pray for my physical, emotional and spiritual health and well-being. Pray for my family as they have been major supporters, even though I know that seeing their lil' girl go into this field was an adjustment for them at first.
"He's given me a passion for all the little knuckle-heads out there that everyone else has given up on. They call me crazy, but I love it"
-Miss G. (my inspiration and mentor)
8 comments:
i don't know how old you have to be (or look =P) for people to stop asking what you're studying in school... but iii'm still not there.
keeping hope alive isn't all on you. and it doesn't need to be/won't be many of your cases that end that way. yeah, maybe that's what's typical or expected, but you, who you are, doing this, bringing real light into that darkness... it's not a recipe for typical outcomes.
suzy....you're incredible.
i've been thinking alot lately about how awesome it is that God has created such diverse people & called them to such diverse fields...it's really incredible.
i'm praying that God will keep shining brightly through you in a dark place & that the love of Christ would spread to all the kids you come into contact with. <3
Suz.. I was thinking about you the other week when I was in a session at a school... the probation officer was there and she reminded me of you :)
-Jim
As I read this I kept thinking about a Jon Foreman song called "Equally Skilled". The song talks about the darkness and the evil of the present age, but ends by saying that we serve a mighty God, "And both of His hands are equally skilled at ruining evil... at showing them mercy... at loving the loveless... equally skilled administering justice."
It's exciting to see what He's doing in your life. It's exciting to know that most often the way He shows love to the loveless is through people like you who are there to speak hope into desperate situations. Thanks for explaining your crazy passion a little =]
i love this suzy, and i love that you're doing this. i would love to hear more about this. love you.
Suz, you have the spunk and personality to even think about doing this kind of work...and the heart one needs to touch hearts. But it is the Grace of God that will bring any good of it, and in that I rest. It's an exercise of faith for any mom, to trust God when kids go off on wild and crazy careers...flying, firefighting, and the likes! It all makes me smile...as I pray!
GOD is faithful!
-m
p.s. I love the twinkle in your eyes when you come home and tell your stories! So which ever way this all goes...don't loose your joy twinkle!
Wise kings generally have wise counsellors; and he must be a wise man himself who is capable of distinguishing one.
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