23,943

That's how many page views I have.  Say whaaaaat?  It feels like a large number.  And is sort of crazy to me.  When I started blogging, literally only like five people read it.  Now I feel like I have a bit of a following.  Err...had.  Not sure how many of my readers dropped me like a hot potato when I started going weeks between postings.  Ah well.  Such is life.  Here, lets try this (and i pre-apologize for the seeming desperation in my tone):

IF YOU READ MY POST, POST A COMMENT.  IT CAN BE ANONYMOUS (though I don't prefer it).  JUST DO IT.  it will make us all feel better.  Well, probably just me.  And 89.9% of you won't do it anyway.  make that 99.9%

I don't ask for much in life.  just a simple acknowledgement to know that my writings aren't in vain and just floating off into cyber-world. 

But I do have to say, I totally wish I was a writer for a living.  I enjoy it a lot.  But I have a feeling I'd run out of things to write about.  Hmm.  

Anyway.  Tonight at Bible study, we were talking about Ruth and Naomi and putting ourselves in Naomi's position when she said that God had dealt bitterly with her because her husband AND two sons had died.  

Basically I'd feel gypped.  It would seem so unfair.  I wouldn't understand what it all meant.  And I'd wonder if I did something wrong or why God was doing this to me.  

But interestingly, it isn't recorded that Naomi fell on the ground pounding her fists in the dirt and asking God, "WHY ME!?" 

One of my friends Crystal told us that one of her classmates is from Africa.  He said that in third-world countries, bad stuff is expected to happen.  It is inevitable.  So those who are believers learn how to know God in the bad instead of wondering "why?"  

We are kind of  unfamiliar with this here in the US.  We are an entitled people.  Even those really poor third-world people who come here searching for the "American Dream."   They expect once they are living here, nothing will go wrong.  Those of us who live here and have very blessed lives tend to ask, "Why?!"  A lot more often than I suppose those in other countries do.  

This isn't based on scientific study...just observation.  But i think it's true.  

I want my attitude to be like David in the Psalms.  Be frustrated.  Be hurt.  Be angry.  Be bitter.  Those are initial reactions that often times we can't help.  But talk to God about it.  Most of the Psalms where he is pouring out his lamentations about how stupid life is is all communication with God.  He trusts God with his potentially yuckiest of emotions.  Emotions that could fester and bring him down.  But he is a man after God's own heart.  He sought God and acknowledged Him...and praised him.  Even in the storm.  

He says it, right in Psalm 142:1

With my voice I cry out to the LORD;
     with my voice I plead for mercy to the LORD.
I pour out my complaint before him;
     I tell my trouble before him.
When my spirit faints within me,
     you know my way!

That's how I want to be.  

 Got this awesome scarf from my cousin for Christmas.  It's my favorite and I wear it ALL the time.  100% wool.  J.Crew.  A-mayyyzing.

 Oh what a great group of guys.  This is our night cooking crew repping the Wild hats.  

 This is one of the little boys at the elementary school I work at.  Just wanted you to see his hair.  

Oh yeah, and he's in kindergarten.  

Wish my hair grew that much that quickly.

 Our countdown continues.  And in case you were wondering...we still love each other ;)

 Valentines Day card + BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT!  I'm gonna be an Auntie all over again! on the OTHER side of the family!  So exciting!  =)

 Had thai food with my friends.  This was Michelle's fortune.  it was like, really?! 

 With my future sister-in-law, Rose.  We went to Joe's (future brother-in-law) basketball game.

He's very athletic and scored a majority of the points for his team.

 All of my earthly possessions under the desk in Ben's room.

Just waiting for March 4th...which is when I move into *our* house!!

 Found this on the shelf at Ben's house.  was my favorite Nancy Drew mystery.  Me and my friend Kaeli used to read it together.  

We thought it was hilarious and odd that there were two women in the book named "Gay" and "Maud."   Give us a break...we were probably 9.

 ENDER CAN STAND ON HIS OWN!  and has even taken a few steps.  But he has become a speedy crawler and so chooses that as his mode of transportation.

 One of the cool things about winter...(pun fully intended)...icicles.

 

 And ice all around the plants.  Lots of ice.

 

 So my fiance plays violin.  Really well.  In an orchestra that is super legit and sounds WAY wonderful!  I am so proud of him! 

Typical.  

Above:  Everyone (including Executive and Sous chefs) standing around watching the game

Below:  Jeremie (awesome manager) gets behind the counter to make some salads while the guys prep.  He's a hands-on kind of manager. That's why we like him. 

Most girls might like chocolates, flowers and an expensive dinner out]... Not me! (well, i could always use dinner...in, out, expensive, cheap...don't matter to me.)  But thankfully my fiance knows me better than that.  while I was at work, Ben came over to the house I'm staying at and set these on my pillow.   It was so sweet. And after a long night at work, it was just the perfect thing. 

Day at the mall with the kidlets!  They are so cute and so much fun!

Blessings on your week!

Take the coal. Touch my lips. Here I am.

Isaiah 6:6-8

Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal in his hand, which he had taken from the altar with tongs.

He touched my mouth with it and said, "Behold, this has touched your lips ; and your iniquity is taken away and your sin is forgiven." 

 

  Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

 For some reason, this really intrigued me.  I was reading a commentary on it and all the pieces began to fit together.  I never understood the purpose of the coal touching his lips.  Fire was used to purge and purify things.  Isaiah was about to be commissioned by God to go and speak words to the people.  But the words that passed his lips had to come from a pure heart.  So God purified his lips with a burning coal and forgave his sins and took away his iniquities so he would be ready.  

 A while ago, before I had read this scripture, I learned this worship song, and the words really struck me.  I never could understand quite what it meant...but after reading this passage, it made a lot more sense:

Take me past the outer courts into the Holy Place

Past the brazen alter, Lord I want to see your face.

Pass me by the crowds of people, the priests who sing your praise

I hunger and thirst for your righteousness

and it's only found in one place

Take me in to the Holy of Holies

Take me in by the blood of the Lamb

Take me in to the Holy of Holies

Take the coal

Touch my lips

Here I am

There is so much going on in this song.   The whole concept of going into the Holy of Holies because it is now made possible by the Lamb's sacrifice...The desire to see the Lord's face even though seeing God could be life threatening...the petition to take the coal and purify the lips, remove iniquity and forgive sins.  

And the final, simple statement of: Here I am.  Isaiah said a few more than that when he said, "Here I am...send me!"  These words have been echoing continually in my mind and heart today.  I have made them a prayer of cleansing and coming humbly before God in the most sacred of places that is now made accessible to me.  I hunger and thirst for righteousness and can only find it in one place...the presence of God.  And the final cry of my heart is to be ready and willing to be sent.  Sent to speak.  Sent to pray.  Sent to serve.  Sent to live a life reflecting the love and truth of Jesus Christ and him crucified!  

 Life!!

My sweet Daddy dearest sends out group texts to my siblings and I randomly throughout the week.  This was one that was quite encouraging.  

 My mumzy sent me some fun goodies to keep me warm!  (Ironically she bought them at a beach boutique stall)  The delightful ear warmer/headband thingy 

 And these fun fingerless gloves!  (so I can use my iPhone! Smart Mumzy!)  Aside from the bright colors, I feel like I'm from a Charles Dickens story when I wear them.   I always feel like poor people in olden-days England wore fingerless gloves.

 One glorious day last week it went from -13 in the morning to 0 in the afternoon.  It was a good day.  And this week it is supposed to get up to 30...so I'm pretty excited

 Sometimes I work at the elementary school and this past week my schedule had this on it.  One can only assume that if someone writes "Don't hate me" next to a certain assignment, it is probably an event that will inspire some pretty strong negative feelings.  while I don't HATE Tanya (the sweet friend who gave me three lunch duties--one of which was the 1st graders...), I was definitely NOT particularly overjoyed at the end of the day either.   Even the assistant principal felt sorry for me.  Oh well.  It all turned out ok =)
p.s. LOVE YOU TANYA!  seriously.  

 Friday night we celebrated Rose's birthday.  Rose is going to be my sister-in-law.  She just turned 12!!

 Yeah...we're attractive

 As you can see...I'm joining a fun and lively family =)  Never a dull moment...that's for sure

 This is Sam and Georgia.  They are the neighbor kids.  Also a swell pair!

 Future-Parents-in-Law

They are so sweet, and have welcomed me into their family with such open arms (not to mention they are housing my dog for a month...May the good Lord bless them for that!)

 This is Lowell and Margaret (Sam and Georgia's parents) and good family friends.  In fact, before Ben and I got engaged, I would do things with the two families and think, "You know, it would be super cool to marry Ben because then I would get to have Lowell and Margaret and their kids in my life for a long time. Which would be awesome since they are so cool"  (No, the neighbors aren't the only reason I'm marrying him...but a definite perk ;)

 We know how to have a good time =)

 We've decided that Sierra has some beaver in her gene-pool.  Seriously.  The dog can chuck wood like none other.  That mess next to her used to be a log.  

 The porch at Ben's house after a few evenings of Sierra chipping wood.  It's a big mess, easily swept and put in the fire.  And it keeps her happy and gives her crazy puppy-teeth something to do besides chew valuable things!  

 sweet kidlets playing together.  Ender-pants is getting SO big.  And Karlina is putting together thoughts and ideas...remembering things that were told her a while ago...asking questions...speaking in full sentences.  It really is a joy to spend the day with her! 

Ok folks, well I'm off to do traffic school.  I have about 5 weeks to finish it.  But when done, I shall have a clean-ish record!  

(It was a horrendous speeding ticket.  Don't ask the details.  All I'll say is it wasn't intentional and if I had it to do over again, trust me...I wouldn't do it.  Oh and if you have no sympathy...neither does my sweet fiance, Ben.  he reminds me that is why they invented cruise control.  Whatever.  Soon it will all be over!)

au revoir!