MERRY CHRISTMAS!
And ye, beneath life's crushing load,
whose forms are bending low,
who toil along the climbing way
with painful steps and slow,
look now! for glad and golden hours
come swiftly on the wing.
O rest beside the weary road,
and hear the angels sing!
Honestly, I used to really not like this Christmas carol. It didn't have the same straightforward, "Jesus is born!" message that so many others did. Then my father-in-law said this was one of his favorites and I actually read through it to see what he saw in it.
This verse is so poetic and beautiful in its relatability. Life's load can feel crushing, but there are glad and golden hours...and in this season I can just rest and listen.
There is often so much heartache and heaviness in the world today that I think it is okay to hold the weightier things alongside the joy! That is the theme of biblical lament in general. Grief and joy mingled together. Voicing the hard to God and trusting/praising him through it all.
Our year had much of this tender balance with really soaring highs and some really hard lows.
January: This year started so hard with destructive fires burning my hometown to the ground. Helpless, grieving, angry, sad, relieved...those were some of the feelings I processed as the fires raged and all through the aftermath. But there were peeks of joy; when a dear friend affected by the fires, and her daughters, came for a short notice visit and we were able to connect, play in the snow and enjoy some lightheartedness amidst the hard.
February: Again marked by grief, we said goodbye to a friend in Minnesota and drove there over a quick weekend for his funeral.
Then we made our way out to California, drove through burned out Altadena and grieved some more. This was followed by a delightful celebration at my cousin's wedding in Arizona where ALL my family from that side of the family gathered. It doesn't happen often, but it was such a fun time!
March: The losses kept coming...Ben's dear Grandpa Warren passed away peacefully after a long road of health challenges. While the grief was present, there was also joy that he could be free from his earthly body and it could be declared of him, "Well done, good and faithful servant." The joy was in grieving and remembering alongside Ben's close-knit Zehr family.
April: I turned 36 and threw myself a celebration with some friends. The theme was "Lets not take ourselves so seriously." We dressed each other in fun thrift store outfits, went out to dinner in said outfits and then hung out for the evening with games and karaoke!
We started at a new chiropractor, which has been a huge help for our family's health, but especially Gabe. We discovered, with his help, that Gabe's near drowning in 2024 caused some nervous system trauma that has had bigger impact than we realized. And thankfully through consistent care, he has made some great improvements!
May: A delightfully mundane month (per my journal, anyway!)
School ended and we prepared for a busy summer!
June: The beginning of the month was packed full. We had a successful VBS week-I lead the music with my sister-in-law, Heather, again. Ben's parents came out to stay with our boys while Ben and I went to Colorado for a marriage retreat at Glen Eyrie. It was really timely and rejuvenating and just confirmed a lot of goodness about where we are in our marriage! We stayed with Jim and Krissa and were also able to reconnect with old friends. And shortly after that trip we celebrated 12 years of marriage!
At the end of the month, however, I had an unexpected panic attack that launched me/us into one of the most challenging phases of life we've had (the journey of that will be another blogpost at another time).
July: This month was a muddled mess of wonderful summer activities; swimming, gardening, yard projects, bike rides...and a constant battle with anxiety for me and the search for a root cause.
Between the chiro and my naturopath doctor, I was able to find some of those root causes and begin the road to healing; not only my mental health but some key physical and spiritual healing as well.
August: I found some increased stability and it was divine timing, because we were all able to go celebrate at the wedding of Ben's brother Joe and his wife Lizzy! She is such a wonderful addition to the family and we are grateful for how joyful the festivities were! Asher got to be a ring bearer, and Ben the best man.
September:
We started school and decided to forego being part of a co-op. Our fall and winter have a lot of travel and we were needing some more flexibility in our schedule!
Asher (10) is in 4th grade and is an avid reader. He has also taken up baking cookies and is a natural! Between Roller Coaster Tycoon and Age of Empires, these millennial parents are pretty proud of his mastery of our favorite childhood computer games!
Toby (7.5) has really taken off with reading this year and I am so glad we were able to take our time with learning so that he still finds it fun! Ever the resident goofball and jokester, he keeps things lively!
Gabe (5) loves doing "school" but really excels at occupying Isaac while I do school with the big boys. He calls "BABY ALERT" when Isaac is about to do something naughty. He loves snuggles and singing praise music!
Isaac (2) has officially entered toddlerhood full force. He is quite self-sufficient and will drag stools around the house to whatever location he needs to get what he wants. We regularly find him snooping in the fridge, playing with water, trying to brush his teeth and looking for lotions. But he is also a delight to the whole familiy and keeps us smiling.
October:
I was able to take a solo trip to MN for my sister-in-law Claire's bachelorette party which was a delight. And at the end of that month I began a more intentional physical overhaul. I began working with my chiropractor (who also does health coaching) to make some goals and adjust dietary and exercise routines. It has been a big test of discipline in my life that has spilled over into our whole family; we do family workouts together, they graciously eat most of the food I prepare for dinners which are less exciting than usual and we have lots of conversations on what caring for our bodies looks like.
November:
Off to Minnesota again! This time to celebrate Claire and Stephen's marriage! Ben was once again in the wedding, and I got the privilege of wrangling, dressing and hauling lots of boys with my brother-in-law Dale. After two wedding weekends like this, we are pros! It was a delightful time with family and we look forward to future get-togethers with TWO new in-laws (the last one added was me, 12 years ago!)
December:
It's cold. And snowy.
School is tapering down.
Trips are ramping up.
Christmas in Minnesota. Family gatherings in Illinois.
Ben is recognized at TPG for 5 years of *stellar* employment!
Then preparing for a big trip to California in January...but more on that to come ;)
It was a full year. Recounting it brought up all kinds of emotions. I didn't even share all of the lows because many of them aren't my stories to share.
So resting beside the weary road is all I can do sometimes. But it is not without hope. We are watching The Chosen with the boys right now and it has been perfect timing. To have a glimpse into what life might have been like...to see the old familiar Sunday School stories brought to life...to picture the joy in Jesus' face as he heals, the resolute nature in which he faces the cross...Celebrating his coming, God as man, is a message of hope. It is how we can both lament and wait with great anticipation to see what He will do next.
Peace on this season and into the coming year for you and your family.
Much love,
Suzy, Ben, Asher, Toby, Gabe and Isaac
No comments:
Post a Comment