Wednesday, October 21, 2009

...and there it goes.

After racking my brain for a good...well 30 seconds, I could think of only one thing I dislike about California. and that would be the fickle weather. It's quite possibly the most annoying thing...EVER. (ugh, I hate making rash statements like that, but since life is short and could end at any moment...I have to live in the moment =)

Anyways, point of all that is to say it is now like 75-80 degrees outside. I keep layering though, just in case it happens to get tired of shining balmy sun-rays down on me and decides to downpour some rain. But it NEVER does! and here I am, in a flannel shirt and jeans, with an unfulfilled wish and some sweat dripping down my back. bleh. thankfully the library is air-conditioned.

On a totally random note, I thought I'd share a story. For a little background...Any of you who don't know this already, the Klotzle side of the family has a gene that leads to unsteadiness of hands. This means that not only do our hands have the propensity to shake when we concentrate on them being very still (why none of us are surgeons) but they shake when they are just being as well. I am blessed (?) with this gene and so my hands naturally shake. (not to mention they are practically useless when I'm nervous!)

Anyways, last week, I'm sitting in class with a group working on questions and this girl I don't really know is just staring at my hand which is holding a pen and pretty obviously shaking. Our eyes meet and her look is one of slight disbelief and awe, as if she just caught a rebellious, Biola closet drug-user and really wants to jump up and tell someone. I sort of snicker inside myself, sorta sad to break it to her that its a mere genetic trait and that she won't recieve snitch of the year for busting a student breaking contract. (now that may sound mean to you, but it seriously felt like that!) I pull my thoughts and composure together and with as casual a shrug as I can muster I look back at my hand wistfully and say, "oh that...yeah it runs in the family and I can't help it." You would have thought I'd just announced that I'm a werewolf and I'm explaining how I change back and forth. Her eyes widen with new interest and then disbelief. faint mocking colors her words, "whaaat? you mean you can't stop it? stuff like that 'runs in the family?'"
I inwardly roll my eyes and try to explain it to her nonchalantly, "Yes, my dad, uncles, aunts...most of us have unsteady hands. they shake involuntarily. sometimes its worse than other times..."
She still obviously doesn't believe me, her eyes betray her...but she covers with a polite smile and responds, "Oh ok...cuz I thought maybe you had way too much caffeine or something." (nervous giggle) psh. as if. we all knew you thought I was a druggie. or a werewolf.

Anyways, the whole rest of the session she tries to look away, but is still slightly fascinated-almost morbidly so- in my shaking appendage. I knew that "Biola Bubble" was influential, but I didn't know just how much... poor girl. Someday she might actually meet someone with a real problem or handicap...goodness knows what she'll do then! maybe its my job to ease her into the world of abnormalities. Next step: I'll bend my thumb all the way backwards and see how that goes. baby steps...

And such is my life.

Can't say I'm hating it!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do live in the moment. "The secret is here in the present."

Anonymous said...

It's funny, my wrists & hands shake too.. but I attribute it to adrenaline (fight/flight reaction)... not genetics. People think I am scared or nervous... but what is most irritating to me is I am not consciously aware of it till someone points it out or I happen to look down at it. Working out my forearms seems to help a bit.
ximy