It was 7:43 am. It was Saturday morning, and I had another hour before my alarm went off. I was blissfully unaware of what was going on in the world. From the depths of my dreaming, I hear the home phone ring. In the fogginess, I am aware that my mom gets out of bed and answers it. It's too early for phone calls, and I distinctly remember thinking, "seriously mom, this is what we have an answering machine for."
Then there are pounding footsteps, and all I hear is, "NOT MY TREE!" There is pleading in her voice. From out front, I hear a gruff, "Ma'am, step back. Ma'am, please move away from the tree. we HAVE to cut it down."
Immediately I am fully awake. My heart starts pounding. they mean OUR tree? It survived the storm! Why would they cut it down? Sure it's leaning...but it's STILL THERE!
Still in my pajamas, I run down the stairs and to the front door. Our poor neighbor Denise is standing in our driveway in her bathrobe. "I'm just so sorry, I've been out here since 6 am trying to convince them not to. I told them that you would be devastated. I told them to double check because I knew it would make you upset! I'm so sorry!" She is close to tears.
By the time I got down there, my parents are sitting on the front steps, a dazed look on my mom's face. The men in neon safety vests and hardhats are still cutting at the trunk of this tree. They obviously are annoyed to be disrupted. They've been picking up wind debris for over two weeks and they just want to be done.
The foreman is saying something about a major root that broke, and it's just not safe.
Finally there is a crack and the giant tree topples into the street.
a piece of my heart broke. You might be saying, "Look, it's just a tree...they grow, plant a new one." But I don't think you understand.
We grew up with this tree. As my mom says, "We've been waiting 25 years for it to finally grow into an amazing shade tree for the morning sun." We used to climb it barefoot as kids. On the days when normal kids were in school, we were tying ropes from the branches, attempting to shimmy up the side. My brothers are well-known in our friend groups for making the most epic blow-guns this side of the Mississippi. And anyone who engaged in wars with us knows what the acorns from that tree felt like snapping against your back as you ran away. it was a seriously a landmark of our time at this house.
I couldn't take it anymore. I snapped some pictures. My eyes filled up with tears. I turned around and went back inside. I didn't know what to think. My previous blog JUST SAID how much I hate change. well change that messes with my childhood? It's the worst of all.
How dare the hardhats and neon vests come and callously remove it. How dare they think we're crazy for mourning its loss. I mean it's one thing if the wind blew it over. No one can help that.
I know it's a bit dramatic, But obviously, John Muir and I thought a lot alike,
"God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand tempests and floods. But he cannot save them from fools."
Yeah...they just didn't stop.
It's gonna be so bare and naked on our front easement.
And since it's the city's property, we can't just plant a new one. They have to (if they decide to at all) and it will be another 25 years before it's grown like this one.
Then there are pounding footsteps, and all I hear is, "NOT MY TREE!" There is pleading in her voice. From out front, I hear a gruff, "Ma'am, step back. Ma'am, please move away from the tree. we HAVE to cut it down."
Immediately I am fully awake. My heart starts pounding. they mean OUR tree? It survived the storm! Why would they cut it down? Sure it's leaning...but it's STILL THERE!
Still in my pajamas, I run down the stairs and to the front door. Our poor neighbor Denise is standing in our driveway in her bathrobe. "I'm just so sorry, I've been out here since 6 am trying to convince them not to. I told them that you would be devastated. I told them to double check because I knew it would make you upset! I'm so sorry!" She is close to tears.
By the time I got down there, my parents are sitting on the front steps, a dazed look on my mom's face. The men in neon safety vests and hardhats are still cutting at the trunk of this tree. They obviously are annoyed to be disrupted. They've been picking up wind debris for over two weeks and they just want to be done.
The foreman is saying something about a major root that broke, and it's just not safe.
Finally there is a crack and the giant tree topples into the street.
a piece of my heart broke. You might be saying, "Look, it's just a tree...they grow, plant a new one." But I don't think you understand.
We grew up with this tree. As my mom says, "We've been waiting 25 years for it to finally grow into an amazing shade tree for the morning sun." We used to climb it barefoot as kids. On the days when normal kids were in school, we were tying ropes from the branches, attempting to shimmy up the side. My brothers are well-known in our friend groups for making the most epic blow-guns this side of the Mississippi. And anyone who engaged in wars with us knows what the acorns from that tree felt like snapping against your back as you ran away. it was a seriously a landmark of our time at this house.
I couldn't take it anymore. I snapped some pictures. My eyes filled up with tears. I turned around and went back inside. I didn't know what to think. My previous blog JUST SAID how much I hate change. well change that messes with my childhood? It's the worst of all.
How dare the hardhats and neon vests come and callously remove it. How dare they think we're crazy for mourning its loss. I mean it's one thing if the wind blew it over. No one can help that.
I know it's a bit dramatic, But obviously, John Muir and I thought a lot alike,
"God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand tempests and floods. But he cannot save them from fools."
Yeah...they just didn't stop.
It's gonna be so bare and naked on our front easement.
And since it's the city's property, we can't just plant a new one. They have to (if they decide to at all) and it will be another 25 years before it's grown like this one.
The really empty easement.
The pile of logs in the back yard. It is so sad to see them all stacked and in pieces.
It is difficult to realize how great a part of all that is cheerful and delightful in the recollections of our own life is associated with trees. ~Wilson Flagg
So is it a bit strange that I came right up to my room and wrote a blog about this? Maybe. But I just needed to process it and write it down and share it with those who might have known the tree. I'm telling you, losing that tree was like saying goodbye to a piece of my childhood and that is never easy. It's hard enough to remember all the amazing times let alone, having a reminder being torn up by it's very roots.
A few minutes ago every tree was excited, bowing to the roaring storm, waving, swirling, tossing their branches in glorious enthusiasm like worship. But though to the outer ear these trees are now silent, their songs never cease. Every hidden cell is throbbing with music and life, every fiber thrilling like harp strings, while incense is ever flowing from the balsam bells and leaves. No wonder the hills and groves were God's first temples, and the more they are cut down and hewn into cathedrals and churches, the farther off and dimmer seems the Lord himself.
~John Muir
Anyway, thanks for reading. If anyone is handing out free hugs, I'll take one.
A few minutes ago every tree was excited, bowing to the roaring storm, waving, swirling, tossing their branches in glorious enthusiasm like worship. But though to the outer ear these trees are now silent, their songs never cease. Every hidden cell is throbbing with music and life, every fiber thrilling like harp strings, while incense is ever flowing from the balsam bells and leaves. No wonder the hills and groves were God's first temples, and the more they are cut down and hewn into cathedrals and churches, the farther off and dimmer seems the Lord himself.
~John Muir
Anyway, thanks for reading. If anyone is handing out free hugs, I'll take one.
4 comments:
heysoos,
huuuuuuuuuug! Thanks for the great memories! My heart was filled with a desire for restoration and redemption as I cried out "can't you take your big machine and push the tree back in place...??!! The hard hats and neon vests just laughed.
Matt 12:20 A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory.
Praise God for the eternal age to come...
Rev 22:1-3 And he shewed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb. In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. And there shall be no more curse....
Big smile and more hugs!
143
Huuuuuug! After you left, Denise came over and sat watching on the steps, grieving with us and trying to console us with analogies of pruning, and how God uses it to make us better...but with the full cutting down it didn't quite work. Betty said she watched from her living room window, crying. Alex drove by, rolled down his window and offered condolences.
Before they drove off, the "neon yellow vests" stayed around to explain why it had to go and to give me some ideas for creating keepsakes out of the logs. One gave me the name and phone number of the gal at City Hall who oversees replanting. He said they'll replace it, but we can pay extra and they'll plant a larger, more mature tree. They said they love trees, and were sad with us that this one had been damaged by the storm.
When they left, Joseph helped carry the logs back. In a year or so, when they're dried out, we'll burn them and remember.
In Revelation, it tells of the day when God will judge the world by allowing a third of all green plants and trees to be destroyed. The impact that will have cannot be measured. So, as my perspective adjusts, I am able to come back to a place of resting in what is...and trusting God who knew even the exact days our tree would bless us.
Aaaaaah...the unexpected lessons of life...
Awww.... I don't know THAT tree, but I have known A tree before that had to get cut down. It is sad, even if it makes you feel dumb for mourning the loss of it:(
Hugs and love, Suzy. God knows the number of the hairs on our head, and the number of leaves on the branches of a tree. How awesome it is to serve a God that knows and loves us as intimately as He does. A God that we can experience through his creation of a beautiful tree! Looking forward to those glorious, eternal, majestic trees in heaven!
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