the card.

It was a beautiful day at Biola University.   Part way into my Spring Semester, and I was having some roommate struggles, some classmate/group project struggles.  I was dealing with some stuff at work...and all of those things were clouding my otherwise blessed life. I had just finished up at chapel and so I went to check my mailbox... and I found a little card in with my mail. 

Top is the front, Bottom is the back.  

At first I thought it was some sort of promotion or advertisement, but there was absolutely no other words or symbols on the entire thing. 

It was really cool, but i figured they put one in every mailbox and so I smiled to myself at yet another reason why going to a Christian University was so cool-- and stuck it in my pocket.  

Later that day, I remembered it and thought about how some of those words had described me recently and I needed that reminder that I was loved despite all my insecurities and circumstances.  

it was, as they say, "perfect timing."

I later asked my roommate if she got one. 

She hadn't.  

I asked a few other people randomly over the next few days...I met one or two who had, and several more who hadn't.  

One of my friends worked in the mail room and said that someone came into the mail room with them, told them that they had prayed over the cards and wanted to stick them in random people's mail boxes, trusting that they would go to people who needed them.  

That made it even more special.  It was "luck of the draw", and I had gotten one of the cards with such a simple yet impacting message. 

I stuck it in my truck, where I could see it, and there it has been for about two years.  

Early this summer, I went to get Simon washed and cleaned inside and out.  When I went to pick him up at the end, I got back in and as I was driving away, I noticed that my card was gone!  

I looked all around, and couldn't find it anywhere.  (that sounds much more tame than it actually was.  I scoured the truck.)

I felt this unexpected emotion rise up in me.  It was a sense of loss and sadness and a kind of emptiness.  I had come to expect that little pep-talk to be there every day, reminding me of a greater truth...and now it was gone.  Bummed, I called my dad and told him about it.  He remembered the card right away.  In fact, anyone who has driven or ridden in my truck knows about it.  He said to me, "Suz, I know it's frustrating and sad to lose something like that.  But God gave it to you in a time and for a season when you really needed it, and he will give you something else for this time and season.  Look for the next gift he will give you."  

If I'm being honest, I'm not sure if I ever found something tangible for this season quite like the card.  And as time passed, I forgot about the card, and the place it sat in my truck didn't look so void and empty.  

Recently, I have been really wrestling with some things in my life.  Expectations, misconceptions, things that aren't turning out like I planned--which has lead to several of the emotions/thoughts that were on that card.  I have been trying to find answers from God.  Specific answers that would help clear up some of the things I was facing.  

I was crying on my way home from somewhere one afternoon, singing songs loudly (which is what I do when I'm frustrated or confused or need to let out excess emotion).  When I parked, I opened my door and then just paused and put my hand on my steering wheel and rested my head on my arm.  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, readying myself for the next thing in my day.  When I opened my eyes, I caught a glimpse of something in the side pocket of my door.  

It was the card!  My card!  

Somehow in all of my frantic searching of the truck all those months ago, I had missed this corner of this pocket.  

I got a huge smile on my face as I read the words on the front again, identifying some key ones I had been feeling.  Then I turned it over and read the simple reminder. 

"Remember...I am loved every second of the day."  

 

A rush of warmth, peace and comfort filled my soul.  It was like looking in the face of an old friend.  Gratefulness filled my heart as the obvious realization that this was a classic example of "perfect timing."  

There were no clear-cut answers written in the sky.  No specific directives.  But that was ok.  The issue that needed addressing wasn't the guidance I was seeking.  It was that I was feeling all of those things and I needed a core truth.  The rest would fall into place when the time was right.

That card was gone for a season...and brought back at just the right time, so I wouldn't take the message for granted, but rather could hear the simple truth and know it in my life in this moment.  

 Now the card sits back in its rightful place.  

Not only is it special because of what it says, but it has a story... it has an added depth and is a constant reminder that I am loved, cared for and remembered.

If you ever borrow Simon or come take a ride with me, you'll see it there and you can smile with  me about how perfectly God planned this way back when it was in a stack of cards being prayed over and stuck in random mailboxes at Biola University.  

So,  When you feel...

ugly. inadequate. hurt. unlovable. betrayed. unworthy. down. sad. torn. devastated. grieved. weak. abandoned. broken. lost. sorrow. heartache. wretched. 

Remember...

I am loved every second of the day.