Ben's FIRST Honorary Blog Appearance

Ok that's not true...as you will soon discover.  Be ye therefore warned, however.  This is a lengthy post.  BUT it is a special post!  Ben is the featured writer!  (granted, I'm adding a few tidbits here and there, but it's mainly all him!  It was his idea too...such a creative fellow)  His writing is italics, my blog quotes are regular, and my current commentary is in bold. =)

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Did you see it coming? It being Suzy's engagement.

I didn't either.

And ironically so, seeings how I'm the one she's engaged to. And seeings how I have been a regular follower of this blog for the past 4 months or so and didn't pick up on any of the hints she was dropping in her posts. Looking back on the past 4 months of posts knowing what I know now, it seems to me that any keenly observant, semi-regular follower of this blog with a touch of inside information might have been able to piece together that something was happening.  

I wasn't necessarily dropping hints... ok maybe a little bit.  But he really did play a significant role in my life here...

Observe the evidence with my commentary below. I only went back as far as her moving to MN. And the first two months of that didn't have much to offer. Anything not in italics is a direct quote from her post.

Post dated 3/13/2012 – Significant Other
We really are MFEO (meant for each other).
Signing off until next time,
xoxo

Technically she was referring to her new dog here. She had no idea what was coming! (And I must say that Sierra is noticing that she is no longer Suzy's significant other. Not that Sierra is insignificant, but...)  it is mere coincidence that I say the same thing about him...  and I got a lot of blog-reader hits on that post because of the title...i think people weren't exactly expecting a puppy!  


Post dated 3/27/2012 – Snippets of Life
and in this moment, i am completely content to call this home.

'This' is referring to St. Paul, MN. Little did Suzy know...
Little indeed...Ah well, the sentiment still remains =)


Post dated 4/30/12 – back on track. Hopefully.
This post includes the first time I was mentioned by name on her blog after her move to MN, if not ever (I didn't check pre-move, but would be shocked if I was). Apparently Suzy and I made a palm tree out of cheese and olives while at J&Ks one evening. If I'm not mistaken, that was the fateful evening when the Words With Friends (or Words With Fiance, as we now affectionately call it) games began.
This was one of the first nights I was really surprised at how much fun he actually was!  Like I have previously mentioned, the guy has got layers!

Post dated 8/2/2012 – two for the price of one
In this post, she talks about a myriad of thoughts and emotions that she isn't sure where to place. And then she gives an example of two lovers in a romantic scene in a movie. Interesting, huh? And I like think a number of those thoughts and emotions involved me.
It's true...actually part of that post was inspired by walking through the dog park and I had been thinking that I really wished I was walking with Ben.  And God told me to not look for what I didn't have, and instead enjoy what gift he was giving me...and the rest would fall into place later. 

And the reference to a birthday party after Bible Study was my sister's birthday party at my parent's house. For the record. 
already feeling like part of the family ;)


Post dated 8/10/2012 – trash, Jesus & life
The book referenced in this post was loaned to me by Suzy exactly 2 weeks to the day before she said YES to my marriage proposal. At the time I received the book I was wrestling with some issues about putting my identity in Christ into practice in real life – and this book played an instrumental role in bringing me through that battle. That battle (and the book) also played an instrumental role in bringing me to ask Suzy to marry me.
I had no idea when I lent him this book that it would play such a big role.  I just really liked the book and wanted to share it with him.  love how God uses those types of things...

I'm also the guy who started making the giant bananagrams board with big and sophisticated words.
told you he was smart.  


Post Dated 8/13/2012 – undeserved blessings.
I'm pretty much all over this post. I'm the song leader that ended up calling off the correct song at the correct time (and thus was used by God in her life – I should note that I had no idea the impact it was having on her at the time). And I'm the good friend that told her she would be fine. AND, she called her (our?) nephew Benender (emphasis mine). I wonder who she was thinking about!
He makes it look so obvious!  but it's true...he was sort of all over that post, cuz he was all over my life!  kept popping up and kept...mattering.  it was around this time i realized just how much he mattered to me.  


Post dated 8/16/2012 – And the summer rolls on...
I love sleeping. Once my dad asked me if I was depressed because I sleep so much. The answer to that would be no, I'm not depressed. I'm actually a relatively happy and content individual. Just really love my feather comforter, pillow and snoozing away. Helps that I have some good, interesting and adventure-filled dreams. Another blog post for another time. Maybe.

I didn't read it this way at the time, but knowing what I know now I like to think the following three things about the above paragraph: 1. 'relatively' happy meant that she would be happier with me :) 2. adventure-filled dreams probably involved/were about me 3. that 'other' blog post for 'another' time has come (Post on November 12 – Who'da Thunk it).
We'll just let him think that ;)  Haha, just kidding.  he was right about #1, and possibly #2...ok he was right about #3 too.  

Post dated 8/21/2012 – ThaiCircusERKids
I'm not specifically mentioned in this post. However, I have since been told by Suzy herself that I was deliberately NOT informed of her stay in the ER until afterward because I was the one person she REALLY wanted to have there. Hmmmmm...
Yeah, I was sitting in ER and really wanted to text him, but didn't know what he would do anyway.  Honestly it was moments like that that made me realize that he's the one I wanted standing by my side through these kinds of situations in life.  


Post dated 8/28/2012 – Hope
I'm not sure anything in this post referenced me specifically – but I like to think that one of the things she was 'hoping' for was for our friendship to turn in to something more than what it was then. A keen observer with inside information might have picked up on that... or not.
WHAT?! of COURSE it referenced him specifically!  The entire thing was about us and our friendship and holding out hope that someday he might be mine...and how painful that could potentially be if it didn't turn out that way!  


Post dated 9/11/2012 – home...where my spirit feels at rest
WHAT?! Both places are home? I still can't understand how I can be so content and happy in both locations...so opposite each other.
A wise man once said, "Home is where your spirit feels at rest."
This means it doesn't matter where you are geographically at all. home is fluid. It can be one place or many places.

I believe Suzy sent me a text while writing this post to ask me what the quote was about home. So I shared it with her (I got the quote from my dad, who heard it from somewhere I don't know). And (knowing she was in CA) asked her if she felt at home more in CA or MN. I kind of want to take credit for the 'geographically' thought.
Yeah, I'll give him credit for that.  He is full of profundity.  I'll be honest though.  I did text him to get the quote. But also just to have a reason to text him.  I used to look for those a lot...reasons, that is. 


Post dated 9/13/2012 – watching sheep
...and then he asked me "The Question." The "what are you up to these days" question. When I informed him of where I was and what I was doing I must have looked wistful or had some kind of face, because he said, "And you're hating it...?" I told him I wasn't hating it. He said, "Then it's probably like you're happy but you wonder the time-line for things." I told him that was exactly it. That I just wanted to know when things were going to happen. I told him I get impatient sometimes with this season and wish God would let me in on what the next big thing would be or at the very least, when it would happen. He smiled at me and said...

I didn't realize this at the time – but given what I know now I'm pretty sure the 'wanting to know when things were going to happen' was referring to when I was going to get around to asking Suzy to marry me. If you remember, the professor in the above conversation later told Suzy that she has the opportunity to watch sheep like David. Well, the way I look at it now I was the sheep. And I was wandering all over the place. But God in His mercy brought me back to the sheep fold. See my comments on the post from 8/10/2012 above and 9/19/2012 below for a little clarification on that.
Just wait til I tell Williams what has happened since we talked in September.  Turns out, letting go and letting God do his thing can produce a lot of peace and contentment until he has the next thing for you to do... which has turned out pretty amazing, as well =)


Post dated 9/17/2012 – 48 reminders
Oh yeah, my dog. She was having a grand old time...I got an email update, a few text updates and this one picture. The bottom dog is Sierra, and the one above her is Nan. She belongs to a family from church who graciously agreed to keep Sierra while I was gone. Apparently things didn't go too bad, since Sierra is happy and the family is still talking to me. It was good to know she was taken care of.

That would be my family that kept Sierra while Suz was in CA. And I was the one that took the picture of the two dogs and texted it to Suzy. 
Sierra was another convenient reason to text him while I was gone...


Post dated 9/19/2012 – we must go
We must go...stand beside the broken.

I would not be engaged to Suzy today if I had not first become broken in a very real and profound way. I praise God that He brought me to a point where He broke me, but then took me through that brokenness, beyond it, to a place of life and beauty beyond what I had ever dreamed of before. And from that I now find Suzy coming to stand along side me. Praise God.
I love the thought of having somebody to stand by MY side as I take on life.  Grateful it is Ben.  


Post dated 9/29/2012 – two of the real-est jobs
I am proud to say that I may or may not have convinced a good friend that serving takes more talent than he first realized. He kept making off-handed comments about how serving/my job is a mindless job...until I told him what the job included. Even he admitted it might be challenging for him due to certain aspects of the job-- and he's a pretty smart fellow! (I rarely win arguments with him, so that one felt good!) =)

I am the 'good friend' here. It felt good to be called that at the time when I first read this post! And it definitely brought me great delight and pleasure at the time to see her acknowledge that she rarely wins arguments with me!
He still takes great delight and pleasure at this too... and for the record, he WAS a good friend...and still is. my best friend, actually. 


Post dated 10/4/2012 – fall
But you have to understand, I'm surrounded by people who are in love with this time of year. and when I say in love...I mean it. They "ooh" and "ahhh" and give me lists upon growing lists of why fall/winter is so fantabulous. They tell stories and give me tips and pointers. They take every opportunity to rub it in that this season is fast approaching and it's the best. thing. ever.

Yes, I am one of those people 'in love with this time of year.' And Minnesota winter really is fantabulous – she has no idea...
No comment...

This past week a family from church was helping their neighbors host a Cross Country Pasta Dinner. I went over to lend my services. As it turns out, I didn't do much...but it sure was fun to be included in this event. I can't really explain it, but being a part of these people's everyday lives/events makes me feel more at home...

That 'family from church' was my family. So the comment about 'being a part of our lives making her feel more at home' is coming true in a way she was only dreaming of then (which she was...)!
Cannot tell you how great it is to be a part of Ben's family.  I was really excited to be getting a husband, but almost equally as excited to get his family, neighbors, extended family etc... ;)  They are a pretty wonderful bunch and have made me feel super welcome! 

Post dated 10/11/2012 – the card
Recently, I have been really wrestling with some things in my life. Expectations, misconceptions, things that aren't turning out like I planned--which has lead to several of the emotions/thoughts that were on that card. I have been trying to find answers from God. Specific answers that would help clear up some of the things I was facing.

Those misconceptions, dashed expectations and things not turning out probably involved me on some level. (more than "on some level) Not the best way to be included in your future wife's blog I suppose... but it all worked out in the end. In some ways I think my marriage proposal to her kind of showed up like the card did – unexpectedly and only out of the corner of the eye. It did.  And yet, it wasn't so unexpected either.  I knew he'd come around eventually ;)


Post dated 10/25/2012 – the air on my skin
I apologize for my absence as of late. Among other things, I started a new job!

That 'among other things' included getting engaged to me... ! WOOHOO!!! 

WHAT?! yes. i did say snow.
I was hoping it would wait a little longer. But it appears to be the beginning of the end. One of my besties keeps reminding me how amazing winter is and that I'll just love it too.
I'm looking forward to that. -ish.
=)

Any guesses on who the 'besty' is? Thats right - yours truly! And thus ended the final post before our engagement announcement.



And there you have it. Evidence from each of the 14 posts prior to the post of our engagement announcement. And see what I mean? Read between the lines a little bit and you just might have thought something was up!

I for one didn't catch on. At all. But I prefer it that way because it shows that our engagement was the work of God and not man. And praise God for that!

Thanks for joining in and reading bits and pieces of our journey!  Actually, reading through this made me (Suzy) realize just how much he meant to me over the past lots of months.  It is so fun to see how God was preparing us both and writing this story before either of us had a clue.  (Although Ben will admit he was the last one to get a clue...even people at church and family members pieced it together before he did!)  It's ok though...point is, here we are...

p.s. I'll post a picture post soon!  so stay tuned!