I have been
wondering what to blog about for a few days now…and nothing was coming to
mind. Then tonight, I was telling my
friend Tanya a story and as part of it, I repeated to her a quote that I had
heard not too long ago and then all the sudden I knew what I was going to write
about!
Being
completely honest here, I know from past personal experience that engagements
are tricky things. Not necessarily going
through one as one of the blissfully happy couple (although that can be tricky
too at times, I’m discovering)…but from the outside looking in. On the one hand, you are supposed to be
celebrating and rejoicing with the new couple…but on the other hand, there are
a myriad of other emotions and feelings that could be taking place which
prevent total joy and elation.
For example:
-maybe you
really desire marriage or a committed relationship in your own life
-maybe you
are afraid and frustrated that the engagement will affect your friendship with
one or both of the people.
-maybe you
were crushing on/really liked/had fallen in love with one of the people and now
it seems all hope is lost.
-maybe you
just gag to see all the mushy stuff people start posting on their facebook
walls after they find their special someone.
There might
be other reasons…I’m just naming the ones I’ve felt before. At age 23, I have had a surprising amount of
friends get married…and I can say that more often than not, one of these
emotions or feelings follows in the wake of hearing about their
commitment/engagement. But you paste on
a smile, tell them how happy you are for them in an annoyingly animated voice,
give hugs and facebook likes all around and then go scribble frustrations on
the unsuspecting and innocent pages of your journal.
I’ve also
talked to a lot of my single friends over the past several years and know that
I’m not the only one with these sentiments.
All of that
to say…when I got engaged, I realized that now I was the one enjoying the
benefits of this blessing in my life…and I had a lot of near and dear friends
who were probably experiencing one of the above. Because of all my experience in this
particular area, my heart ached to know that somehow my engagement to Ben might
cause some kind of pain or hurt to people I cared deeply about. I went over and over all the ways I could try
to tell people. Finding the balance between being excited and being
obsessive.
One night as
I was explaining this to Ben, he quoted this to me (he heard it from his dad
who heard it from someone else…so I’m not sure of its origin):
God takes care of those who are
affected by our obedience to Him.
As soon as I
heard it, my heart settled and I was filled with peace. Of course!
I was again reminded that there are no loose ends with God. He’s got the WHOLE world in his hands. While he was orchestrating Ben and I’s story,
working it all out to bring us to the point in our lives where we are engaged
to be married, he was also preparing all the people in our lives that would be
impacted and affected by our engagement.
He cares deeply about all the hearts involved. If I’m being honest with myself, every time
that I was affected by someone else’s obedience to God’s plan in their life, He
was more than faithful to take care of my heart. And even in the bigger picture, he has provided
me a suitable (and downright amazing) mate for my life. All those times of complaining and wondering
and doubting seem pretty insignificant when I’m basking in the beauty of God’s
blessing in my life.
As I come to
the end of my inspiration, I realize I’m not really sure why I wrote this
post. Part of me wants my single friends
to know that I am mindful of them, especially through this season. Part of me just wants to share that powerful
truth with others who might wonder how their obedience to God might adversely
affect those they care about (and this extends beyond marriage into many other
aspects of life…this is just the way God brought this truth to me). Because I really think it is a profound
thought. Truly understanding that I
might love people and care for them…but how much more is God loving and caring
for them. He knows the plans he has for
them. Plans of a hope and a future. If you have any thoughts or stories or
testimonies of this (from either side), I’d love to hear them.
Now for some pictures!
Mr. Ender is getting two cute little top teeth!
Beautiful sunset on a Sunday afternoon
Ben's family lives right by a pretty good sized pond and they cleared off an ice rink to skate on.
Me and my future sisters-in-law, Claire on the left and Rose on the right
He's normally not THAT much taller than me...it was the skates.
My little family.
Beautiful sky
Cousin Leah came up with her brother Seth for the weekend! It was fun to hang out with them and get to know them a little better! I'm joining a pretty fab immediate/extended family.
For being such a small guy, Ender can make a pretty good sized mess.
He was sleeping so sweet. And for any of you who might be concerned about the purple/yellow eye, it is just one of the joys of a baby who can pull himself up on unsteady things. I think it was a folding chair he pulled over on himself.
I heard the toilet flush about four times in a row while I was taking care of some things in the kitchen and went in the bathroom to discover this mobile fellow having the time of his life.
Karlina decided she wanted to wear pajamas for her nap, and Ender too. So we had a pajama party in the middle of the day. She's pretty sweet with Ender most of the time. And he actually finds her funny instead of being scared of her like he used to be.
Sorry there aren't more pictures of Karlina. She is in an anti-photo phase and turns away for every picture unless it is completely unannounced.
Anyway, there is a snippet of my last week or so!
blessings on your week!
2 comments:
sigh. I love you Suz. Thanks for this.
Quote from Oswald Chambers. 4344
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