California Part 2

I'll try to finish this up today...mainly because drawing it out isn't super awesome for you or for me.  

SO HERE ARE MORE PICTURES!! 

So the extended family on my Dad's side has had a tradition of going to this Mexican food restaurant called Ernie Jr's.  My dad has been going there with his parents and siblings for as long as he can remember.  Well it just so happened that the weekend we were visiting was their last weekend open!  So we decided a last hurrah at Ernie's was in order.  It was really busy and it was obviously well liked.  Apparently there was no one in the family to keep it going, so they sold the building and put the legacy of Ernie to rest.

A limited group photo of the clan who attended the proverbial last supper...

Ernie's famous guacamole!  did someone get that recipe?

here are our super attractive guacamole-eating faces. 

So when we were younger, my dad used to tell us that this bull head was there because the bull was running so fast and couldn't stop and ran right through the wall and got stuck there.  Pretty sure I believed him for a majority of my childhood.  We found out from Ernie Jr himself that night that his father actually killed this bull after a bull fight.  or something like that. 

My cousin caleb ordered the burrito grande.  He wasn't quite expecting the size of this bad boy. 

Still trying to figure out how to eat it!  

sorry if it doesn't look that appetizing...but this is the famous #1: A beef taco and a cheese enchilada with rice and beans.  It was my Grampy's favorite, and mine too =)

Here we are with Ernie himself.  he came into our part of the dining room, and my dad stood up and said, "Ernie we just want to thank you for years of service and good food!" and everyone in the dining room gave him a great round of applause.  Most of them were regulars like we are! 

It really was kind of sad to think that it won't be there next time I go back.  There is something iconic about that place...and it will always hold a special place in my heart. 

The next day, we went up to Ventura with several cousins and Aunt and Uncle and other cousins and just had a grand old time. 

Our main activity was biking.  We biked 6 miles up the coast. it was sooo beautiful.  perfect day for a beach bike ride!

I love train tracks.

No really, I love them. especially when they run by the ocean. 

me and my honey, windblown and lovin' life!

After biking and dinner, we found a grassy area and played a wonderful rousing game of ultimate frisbee.  Unfortuantely we had all just had fish n' chips, or calamari or some kind of fried seafood...and it was a little slow going for a few of us.  But still a lot of fun. 

the sunset was beautiful...an amazing end to a fantastic day.  

The next day was Easter Sunday.  And I really wanted Ben in CA for this.  It is a tradition at my home church in Altadena to climb a little lookout spot in the mountains and enjoy a morning service while enjoying the view of the greater Los Angeles area.  It is one of my favorite traditions and I wanted to share it with Ben. 

Early morning sun shining down on the mountains. 

The sky was perfectly blue and the view was pretty clear considering!

Climbing down after a great song and Scripture service. 

More of the trek down the mountain. 

The Easter morning crew that met back at church for a delicious breakfast! Oh how I love and miss this church family. 

This picture represents a rather humorous moment.  We were all sitting around talking, and my cousin's baby Edmund was perfectly content.  The conversation turned to a friend of ours who had gotten engaged, though several at the table didn't know it yet.  So multiple people exclaimed loudly, "DON'S ENGAGED!?!?"  at that exact moment, Eddie burst out in the most tragic sobs with giant tears rolling down his cheeks...which caused us all to laugh...which made him cry more...

we figured it was his lament over Don's fate ;)

Sitting on my parent's back porch enjoying their back yard will never get old. 

It is such a peaceful place to be.  Even though it has changed a lot over the years, it is still where I spent a majority of my childhood...and will always be special for that reason. 

My dad's classic truck sitting there looking...classic. 

Well, there you have it.  The end of the trip.  It was so delightful and refreshing...and I think Ben and I grew closer as he shared pieces of my CA life with me.  

Going back to California always does my heart good...and I am grateful for every chance I have to get there. 

For all the people I got to see, Thanks for making the effort and being amazing.  you are all so special to me and bless me even now that I've returned back to MN.

For the people I didn't get to see...Don't feel bad.  You were on my heart and in my mind.  If I had had the time, trust me, I would have made a lunch date with every one of you.  Next time. promise. 

=)

California...part 1

Well, yesterday I arrived back from my trip to California.  It was...well it held so many emotions for me.  

Obviously I was really excited to go...no surprise there.  But in a strange way, going almost made it harder.  I don't know if that makes sense.  Basically, it's easy to do an out-of-sigh-out-of-mind thing when I'm living here in MN and life is in full swing.  But give me a taste of a place dear to my heart, and it causes all these feelings to rise up in me, and it makes me face things that I don't want to face.  

It has been around 10 months since I was last there (for our wedding), which was way too long.  And we were only there for a short time (Ben for a long weekend, I for a week).  It was over Easter, so there were plenty of planned activities.  So to be totally honest, I didn't even tell many of my friends I was there.  There just wasn't time to get to them all, and I didn't want to have to prioritize.  I did end up seeing a few friends, but it was mainly family.  I'll split it up into a few blog posts, since there are lots of pictures. 

In all, I can say it was so good for my heart to be there.  There is something about CA that just fits me like a glove, snug and warm.  It was wonderful to show Ben pieces of my life that have shaped and grown me and hold so many memories.  One of the projects while I was home was to go through stuff we had boxed up before I moved to MN (thinking I would come back eventually), that my mom wanted gone through and out of her garage.  So Ben and I took some time to do that.  And let me tell you, I'm a keeper...in the sense that I keep everything.  all my notes and homework, papers, text books...from all my classes.  notes and cards galore (words mean a lot to me).  Pictures up the wazoo.  Trinkets, shell collections, postcard collections, stamp collections, coin collections (I fancied myself a collector when I was younger).  And just stuff... which gave Ben a pretty good sized glimpse into years of my life gone by.  It was really special.  

Anyway, on to the first segment of the trip.  

Ben and I at the beach after a delicious breakfast at Uncle Bill's Pancake House in Manhattan Beach.  All ye californians, I highly recommend it! 

Manhattan Pier

Even though it was cloudy, it was still the beach, and still beautiful! 

California's state flower: Golden Poppy. 

Breakfast on Friday morning with three of my favorite guys (and mumzy, but I think she was putting the finishing touches on a delicious thin-pancake breakfast!)

So every Good Friday, my family has had the tradition of going to Forest Lawn.  It is a cemetary that is smack dab in the middle of...well kind of a dirty city.  And yet it is so beautiful.  The gardens, architecture, statues, artwork...it is a really peaceful place to be.  The draw for Easter weekend is that there are three works of art in particular that depict the last days of Jesus.  There is a stained glass rendering of Leonardo Da Vinci's "The Last Supper"  as well as two HUGE painted pieces of art that are of the crufixion and resurrection.  The stories behind all of the paintings are really moving, and coming here never gets old.  

Outside the Mausoleum  where the stained glass art is, as well as many crypts and statues. 

Another picture of the courtyard outside the Mausoleum.

This picture has no editing...the sky is just that blue. 

Another of our favorite things to do is to go into the Hall of the Crucifixion/Resurrection (a building made specifically for those paintings), and sing in the massive hallway leading into the main building.  It has incredibly tall ceilings and amazing echoing acoustics.  We gathered around just 5 of us to sing, and pretty soon some of our other family members came to sing with us...and pretty soon we had a whole crowd either watching or singing with us.  It was pretty amazing. 

At a little chapel by the Hall, there is this cute statue and poem carved into stone.  Try to read it if you can, it is pretty neat. 

Or you can look it up:  "If" by Rudyard Kipling. 

Me and my cousin Seth. 

Wee Kirk O' the Heather.  That is the name of this chapel.  And my dad likes going there just so he can keep saying the name.  Because it is fun to say out loud.  Feel free to try it =) 

It is so beautiful though...

Ben and I outside the chapel.  Loved sharing this day with him. 

Anyway, so ends part one of the trip!  If you are ever in CA visiting, or especially if you live there, Forest Lawn shows those pieces of art every day, not just Easter...so I'd encourage you to go up there.  Those works in addition to the gardens, chapels and just overall peace that there is in a cemetary...it is one of my favorite places to visit. 

Not to mention Louis L'Amour and other famous people are buried there. 

Part 2 to come soon!

the end of the story

So I realized that I left my blog on a kind of sad note...and I wanted to fix that.
There is a happier end to the story that happened like a day or two after I wrote that last post.  The social worker at the school caught me as I was passing her office in the hallway and said, "Suzy! I have some information on Darius that I thought you would be interested in."  My heart instantly felt relieved and SO excited that she actually made an effort to keep me informed.  She went on, a huge smile on her face, "So apparently Darius is doing SO well in his day program.  They figured out some of his problems, got him on some medication, and it is a night and day difference.  His mom no longer dreads taking him out in public, and you know what?  They are even working on a plan to transition him back into school here!  I just thought you would want to know, since you worked with him the majority of his last days here and you put so much effort into that relationship."

Ahh...it was so good to hear.  He didn't just disappear into oblivion.  I got to find out the rest of the story.  And hopefully as he transitions back, I'll be able to work with him some more.  =)

I was going to post some happy pictures, but we just got a new tablet to replace my laptop, and we're still figuring out how to get pictures on it....
OH WAIT. i just did it. i think. hold on.  THERE we go.  Enjoy =)

This was the assembly at school.  This is the 5th grade drumline...they were fantastic.  

This picture is for my mother dearest.  She has been trying forever to get me to drink green smoothies.  And for some reason they just really grossed me out...Probably just couldn't get past the color.  Well I've been on sort of a healthy eating kick (sort of, being the operative words...) and so I decided to give naked juice's green machine a try.  And it wasn't too bad.  So mom, get ready to break out the green smoothies again when I come visit later this week =)

ah yes..week one of April, we get a awesome snow storm (8 inches).  And even though it melted in the next few days...my goodnes...it was a little depressing.

This kid...my oh my, is he cute.  When he puts on his sunglasses he says, "I'mma cool dude!"  And it's just too cute.

not the most flattering picture, but it was the best one I got of her swinging...still a beauty!

In this picture, Miss K is chasing Sierra on her trike.  Oh what fun it was to watch. 

This little guy mastering coordination and doing well at it. 

 

Giving Sierra hugs! 

More of the swings.

One night, Tanya came over to hang out with me and the kids...She is so good with them! and they totally love her too.

Candy Land!  Actually getting more fun as she plays following the rules...mostly. 

To set up the next picture, a story: The other night, Ben and I got home and found a long-awaited, much dreaded situation.  Sierra was out of her kennel.  Our kennel is an X-pen (a sort of fence) that sections off part of the basement.  We always put her in there at night and when we are out of the house...because she can get into puppy trouble.  A few months ago, she began sleeping free in the house, but we still locked her up during times when we were gone.  

Until now.  

She must have climbed over the fence (not an easy feat) and got some fur caught in the top.  Since we didn't want her risking broken limbs or cuts or other painful things, we decided to take the leap and let her stay free in the house while we were gone.  Day 1 was while Ben was gone on a business trip.  I did a walk-through before I left in the morning to hide or put away anything she might find tempting to chew up.  

And it was quite sucessful.  It has been going on a week and I have yet to see one thing messed with.  

She did, however find a new napping place.  

Hence, this photo:

I couldn't find her one day, and looked all over, until I heard her collar jangle.  I found her curled up in the back of our semi-walk-in closet.  my dresses twisted around her, and my shoes beneath her.  she was so cozy looking...

But this past saturday I was cleaning out my closet of old clothes and found that everything had dog hair on it.  So I washed all the clothes, vacuumed the closet floor and now the door remains shut so she can't go back in there.  She must have found another adequate napping spot, as she still stays out of trouble while we're gone!  

YAY for the next step of maturity!

This is a picture from our night out celebrating my 25th birthday (YES, I'm 25...can't hardly believe it!)

Ben took me to one of my favorite clothing stores so I could show him a shirt I liked...and he ended up buying me like two whole outfits!  What a guy. 

Anyway, when we walked in holding hands, the sales lady was like, "You two are SO cute!  you're all smiley and happy!  how long have you been together?"

We told her we had been married a little over 9 months and she exclaimed even louder, "That is even BETTER! Man, I wish I could take a picture of you two!"

So we had her take one.  She suggested the mannequin be in the background so that we would remember we were at her store.  

I personally think it is a creepy photo-bomb.  

Anyway...It was nice, and made us smile and feel happy.

And that is really all the updates I have as of of right now.  

We head to CA on Thursday, and I am so excited!  It has been almost a year since I was back there, and I miss it so.  It will be good for my heart to be in familiar places, with some of my favorite people!

story time

I'll call him Darius.  First grade, beautiful brown skin...the color of creamed coffee.  Eyelashes so long and curly, over dark brown eyes.  Eyes that...hold knowing.  Eyes that mask the depth of pain and anger churning deep inside this little boy.  Eyes that betray that he has seen and heard and experienced things that most little boys his age haven't. When I meet him, he keeps those eyes on the ground and declines my offered hand as we walk to the classroom.  The school social worker gives me a look, trying to convey a message about this kid. It was communicating something complex, challenging...and a faint relief that I would be taking over for the day.  She explains to me Darius' quirks and tendencies, in a quick attempt to familiarize myself with this unknown child.  We both know that it takes more than the two minute walk to class to really understand someone.   

My assignment was simple:  Accompany Darius to his classroom and stay with him the whole day.  Encourage participation in class activities, monitor his play time, lunch time, specialty classes and make sure he doesn't hurt anyone.  

The social worker stays with us for the first few minutes of class, using months of experience with the boy to communicate aptly with him.  Soon she leaves, and tells Darius that "Miss Suzy" will be hanging out and if he feels he needs to take a break, to tell me.  She shoots me an encouraging glance and then glides out the door.  I go from feeling semi-confident to feeling completely unprepared.

Immediately Darius gets up from the morning-meeting circle and looks for a fidget (an object that he can use to help work out his sensory touching needs if he is beginning to feel restless).  We find one, but it quickly goes from tool to toy (which is the point we find another fidget, less distracting.)  Of course Darius refuses to give it up and starts to get defiant.  I try coaxing.  I try using redirection.  I try making a deal.  I try stern words.  In fact, I use my entire repertoire of communication skills, and he just isn't responding.  Then I remember one thing from that two-minute intro the social worker mentioned:  he loves teaching and showing people how to do things.  

Bingo.  I had him show me how his classroom works, how to follow the rules, how to do his work, how to sit criss-cross-applesauce on the rug...and it worked.  And I realized quickly just how brilliant this little guy is.  Nothing gets by him.  He will be sitting in the back of the classroom, refusing to participate and seem totally into whatever game he is playing with, but when the teacher asks a question to the rest of the class that no one answers, he pipes up confidently and says the answer, with a bit of a condescending tone.  

The rest of the day is spent figuring him out.  Trying to get him to talk to me.  Keeping him from shoving kids, pulling papers off the wall and yelling out answers.  

I find myself getting frustrated.  How can such a smart, beautiful boy have so many problems in the classroom?  Why can't I get through to him?  He looks me right in the eye and says, "I don't like you, leave me alone!"  or he worse, he sits in sullen silence, grabbing at things and refusing to acknowledge my existence. 

After one episode of supply destruction, hitting students and running the hallways, I finally get him in a chair, put my hands on either side, so he can't run and move him to the middle of an open area so there is nothing in arm's reach that he can grab.  He is mad.  Seething, in fact.  He refuses to be stopped because I asked him to.  He is grunting angrily, trying to get my arms off the chair so he can run.  

"Darius. Stop it.  This is unacceptable for you to hit the other kids and mess up the teachers things."

He grunts and twists his body around, trying to reach for the scissors on the desk just out of his reach. 

"Look at me, Darius."  I gently turn his chin my direction.  He studiously avoids eye contact.  I try to keep the exasperation from my voice.  "Darius, listen.  I am here to help you.  I can see that you are upset right now, but I don't know why.  I need you to use your words to tell me why you are upset.  I can help you and we can work to make it better, but that can't happen unless you talk to me and tell me what is going on." 

He stops flailing and the grunting stops.  The anger in his eyes dissipate and all I see is a little boy, lost and hurt.  Tears fill his eyes, and the anger returns, as he clearly does not want to cry in front of me.  

My heart breaks.  I reach up and wipe the tears from his cheeks and whisper, "It's gonna be okay.  We'll figure it out.  It's been kind of a rough morning, but it'll be okay." 

There are so many layers to this boy that I cannot understand in one day.  or possibly even by the end of the school year.  

The next day, administration decides that he needs to be out of the classroom, as he is too disruptive.  I am assigned to him again, working in a separate room.  The difference is night and day.  He is eager to show me things, to have me read with him.  When he gets a bit antsy, I ask if I can scratch his back.  He nods shyly.  The rest of the afternoon, he edges close to me and says in a quiet voice, "Miss Suzy, can you scratch my back while we do this?"  It may seem small, but it is a huge victory for our delicate relationship.   He teaches me to play "chess."  And after I let him beat me several times, I finally "beat" him.  He says,  "I let you win, Miss Suzy.  Because I didn't want to be beating you the whole time."  He gives me a hearty "Good job!" and a resounding high five.  

Ah, so he does pay attention. 

Later on the playground (it is just the two of us, since he isn't allowed at recess with the other kids), I ask him to show me his favorite parts of the playset and how to use them.  He explains carefully and demonstrates in detail the slides, the climbing wall, the various steps and swings...following each one up with, "Be careful, I don't want you to fall"  or "Use two hands to be safe, Miss Suzy!" or "Good job you did that so well!"  My heart is almost bursting to see this completely different side of him.  He has genuine care and concern in his eyes and voice as we play.  Back inside, we finish up the day.  We only have once incident of a bad attitude, which he quickly fixes with a little prompting.  We give high fives, I tell him I am so proud of him...and even get a hug and a smile.

That was the last time I saw Darius.  I came back the next week and he was gone.  He had been transferred to a day program "better suited to his needs."  I wanted to go to administration and beg to have him back.  Beg to be his personal aide/tutor.  I didn't want to think of how alone he must feel in a new place with people who only know him by an IEP.  I didn't want to think how they might not see that sweet side of him and might just say he is "unteachable."  

I still get people at school who ask me about him...or rather, refer to him.  "Yeah, that Darius was...well, he had a LOT of issues."  or "It is so much better that he has a place that will work for him, because he was a nightmare!"  

And even though those may be the facts, my heart still hurts for him.  I want to see him again.  Make sure he is okay.  Scratch his back and read about sharks.  Practice saying the letter "R" to help correct his little speech impediment.  Play chess with the master...("The card says my...what is this pointy guy called again, the bishop? the card says my bishop takes out SIX of your pawns!"). 

*sigh*  

All I can do is say a prayer and keep investing in the next kid they send my way for however long.

this is the nature of the job I chose.  

It is glorious.

It hurts.