My Two Cents

I know, I know...a new post so soon!  

Forgive me as I am about to go on a bit of a rant...

being on facebook the past week has held a mixture of emotions.  Sadness, disappointment, compassion, anger, defensiveness, resignation...just to name a few.   As I pass by statuses or shared links or pictures, my fingers are itching to type retorts to the many biting comments I come across.  Those of you who have facebook may know what I'm talking about.  For those of you who don't...be grateful right now.  

The controversy is equal rights.  The competitive spirit is fierce.  The attacks are relentless.  The progress, minimal. 

And I wish it'd all just go away.  Don't get me wrong.  I have an opinion....a belief.  A strong one.  But when I feel my face go hot, my heart-rate increase and I have a million rebuttals bouncing around my brain, it is obvious that writing them down is not the best course of action for me.  

So in lieu of that, I shall write about the other emotions I'm feeling.  

Sadness:  

Oh the brokenness of humanity.  Oh how my heart aches for the lost.  Those blinded by their self-created idols...or ones society has created for them.  Dear Lord, I know you said it would get worse before it gets better, but does it have to be this way?  Why are so many hard-hearted people so dear to me?!  And what will become of them?  Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.  And have mercy on those who do.

Defensiveness:  

How dare you attack something so precious to me?  How dare you call me ignorant.  I'll show you just how much I know.  I'm not some brain-washed, judgmental Christian.  How dare you throw us all into one camp and dismiss us with a cursory comment or post on your social media page.  and how DARE you take Scripture, Christ and MY GOD and twist them into something that supports YOUR ignorant claims without knowing the facts.  

Disappointment:  

Oh, my fellow brothers and sisters, why must we strive to convince our lost neighbor?  Where is the confidence we have in Christ that HE will set the record straight?  Don't you see that you will lose your Christian witness if you respond with biting and condemning words?  Don't you see that this is a ploy by the Enemy from the very pit of hell, intended to steal joy, kill relationships and destroy the church?  Stand for what you believe.  Be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within you.  But do not let the need to win an argument cloud your commission to go into all the world and preach the gospel...and to love your neighbor as yourself.  I speak this as much to myself as anyone else.

Compassion:  

Sweet Jesus, give me your eyes for just one second.  I want to see what you see.  I want a taste of the love you have for all of this world.  maybe this heartache comes from seeing people created in your image mocking and ridiculing you.  But Jesus, I love them.  They have souls.  They were created by you.  and they are lost.  

Anger:  

Indignation rises up in me as my throat closes and my heart rate quickens.  How has the Enemy gained so much foothold in this country?  Why are there so many lies, so much manipulation, so many underhanded tricks turning this country into a putrid and disgusting wasteland.  I clench my fists as a scream threatens to burst out from the depths of my belly.  

LEAVE US ALONE!  JUST STOP IT!   I HATE YOU!  I HATE YOU!  I HATE YOU! 

Resignation:  

Oh Lord, I'm so weary.   My heart can't take on any more burdens of the world.  You've seen this conundrum.  I'm all over the place.  I'm balancing the tight rope of self-righteousness and brokenness.  I can't fix it.  Dear God, why can't I fix it?  We need you...I need you.  I need you so much.  Please don't leave us now.  Not like this.  Not with so much doubt and confusion and dissension.  Let peace rain down from heaven.  Wash over us and refresh us anew.

And Lord...do not linger much longer.  Come and take what is your own.   

When I don't know what to do...I'll lift my hands

When I don't know what to say...I'll speak your praise

When I don't know where to go...I'll run to your throne

When I don't know what to think...I'll stand on your truth

Behold the Lord

I was wanting to write a blog tonight...but wanted there to be some substance to it besides just pictures.  And I kept putting it off because there was nothing that was coming to mind.  Then my sweet fiance, Ben, sent me this text.  And inspiration struck.  

"If I am to be like Him, then God in His grace must do it, and the sooner I come to recognize it, the soner I will be delivered from another form of bondage.  Throw down every endeavor and say, I cannot do it, the more I try the farther I get from His likeness.  

What shall I do?  

Ah, the Holy Spirit says, You cannot do it;  just withdraw;  come out of it.  You have been in the arena, you have been endeavoring, you are a failure.  Come out and sit down. 

 And as you sit there, behold him.  

Look at him.  

Don't try to be like Him, just look at Him.  

Just be occupied with Him.  

Forget about trying to be like Him.  

Instead of letting that fill your mind and heart, let Him fill it.  Just behold Him, look upon him through the Word.  Come to the Word for one purpose... and that is to meet the Lord.  Not to get your mind crammed full of things about the sacred Word, but to come to it to meet the Lord.  Make it to be a medium, not of Biblical scholarship, but of fellowship with Christ.  

Behold the Lord."

-Norman Douty.  

And Ben's words that followed?  "That is how I want to journey."  

Wow.  First of all, I am marrying an amazing man who has a heart after God and seeks to know and be like Him like this.  

Second, I found this highly applicable and important to my own personal relationship with God.  When do I ever take the time to just sit with the Word.  Look at God.  Soak in time and relationship.  Stop trying.  Cease striving.  

And just be.  

This is a challenge for me.  But Norman Douty's words really resonated with me.  I was trained at a Bible school.  But knowledge means nothing if it isn't translated into practical use.  The Bible isn't a text book.  Sure, knowledge is helpful.  But at the end of the day, it is one of the most helpful tools in better understanding my God.  

Now on to pictures =)

Me and Ender!  Such a happy lil' guy! 

 Sometimes she gets all up in my face wanting to play.  

Ok, now on to the much desired house pictures.  Keep in mind, it is not fully decorated or filled like a normal house would be.  We're still working on it...baby steps. 

 

The outside of our lil' home. 

 Right inside the front door.  We have lots of windows letting in much natural light!

 Straight through the living room into the dining room.

 Our new table.  Yay Craigslist! 

 

 The very blue Kitchen.  Honestly, I would have never chosen it, but it's really sort of fun! 

 Once again, lots of windows for natural light!

 Main level bedroom.  It will eventually be the guest room.

Upstairs room.  This will be Ben and I's room.  

 It's got a great closet.  

 Our backyard from up above.  We have a detached garage and a nice fenced area for Sierra.

 

 The rad coat tree.  The tenant before us was going to remove it, but never had time.  I'm so glad she didn't!  I love it. 

 Basement laundry

 Our bright cheery basement with a sectioned off corner for Sierra.  It works perfect for keeping her home, in an enclosed area, but still have some freedom to walk around/stretch her legs.  

 Cousin Molly came to visit!  

 I love him!

 My brother, Johnny about to attack his car with the dirt devil. 

 They're so cute. 

 And always up for a good time. 

 =)

 Eating a "snack" at Chris & Rob's.  Our new favorite hotdog joint...just a few blocks from our new house! 

ENDER'S FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!  

That's right! Ender is now one! 

 Silly boys were having too much fun with the balloons.  

 Ender apparently did not get the "cheesy grin" memo.  

 LOTS of balloons.  

 It might look like Ender was eager to get at his cake here.  

False.  He just wanted the candle.  With everyone watching him, he really didn't go after the cake too much. 

 He really wanted Daddy...

 And once he got a hold of him, wouldn't let him go!

 Later, after all the people went back to talking to him, Ender sat in a corner by himself and ate cake...

 ...and enjoyed it! 

 So serious

 Auntie Amy and Uncle Johnny being silly.  Karlina LOVED having them around!

 Always nice to have a house full of people.  Funny how a one-year-old's birthday becomes the excuse for adult friends to hang out. 

 Daddy capturing the precious memories

 Ender loving his toys!!

 Miss Kavya came to his party.  She was loving his toys too!

 Dad and Karlina putting together Ender's gift from Mimi and Papa.  

Jim learned the whole "read the instructions" thing from my dad...King of Instruction Reading.  

 Ben and his cute easter bunny ears!

 Ender loving the water table!

Had a classic Mac n' cheese lunch yesterday.  Kiddos loved it.  I loved it.  

Oh how they fill my days with joy!  I am so blessed to spend as much time with these kids as I have.  

until next time... i encourage myself (and you too) to spend time beholding the Lord.  setting aside time just to be with Him.  Soak Him up.  and then let him work transforming wonders in our lives. 

playing catch-up...again.

Well, my page views have gone up roughly 1,000 in count since the last time I posted.  Which means I have a lot of unsatisfied readers.  My bad.

Honestly, the past few weeks have been some of the busiest of...well I was going to say my life.  But I'll settle for the less-dramatic "year."  I have been balancing three part-time jobs, two Bible studies, moving, buying furniture, planning a wedding long-distance, registering for various items, premarital counseling, maintaining a relationship and squeezing in sleep and food whenever I can (which I seem to have no problem with). 

So I know you all really want to see pictures of the new house.  And they will come.  When there is actually furniture, and window treatments, and bookshelves, and a table and anything else that makes an empty house a home.  As of right now, I need to update you on the past several weeks! And let me tell you, this is going to be a whopper of a post.  Lots of pictures, lots of random captions, lots of information the random blog-stalker probably won't care about.  This is for the mumzy, the daddy, the various grandmas, aunties and long-lost friends. If there are repeats from instagram and facebook, my apologies.  I have some readers that are only in touch with me by blog. 


As you look at this snippet of my life, I want to draw your attention to the One who gets the credit for all the blessings you're about to see.  Without God's strength, grace and patience, I would be going crazy right now.  That, and He gave me Ben who is such an amazing mate for me.  He is so patient with me and continually showers me with love and support.  Even in the busyness, we're enjoying each others company and making all of the exciting things like registering an actual adventure! 

With all of that said, I shall begin. 

 These are the icicles outside the house I lived in for a month between loft and house.  One of the cool things about winter.  Throughout the post, you shall see the icicles grow =)

The following pictures are from a weekend we spent with friends and family at their hunting lodge.  Ben, his family, my brother and his family and our friends Keith & Jodi and their family were all there.  It was a lot of fun!   

The beautiful woods.

I love eating snow.  I feel like a child all over again on our trips up to the mountains to see the novelty of snow once or twice a winter in California.  

Unfortunately, Ben and I did not have the privilege of using the snow shoes, so we tromped...trudged...fell...and otherwise made our way through the snow drifts. 

We took Sierra, and she was having the time of her life!  Definitely a snow-dog at heart.  

 Look how cute he is in all of his snow clothing

 =)

 Dumb dog kept shoving her head in the snow looking for who knows what.  

 And she looked so adorable when she would come up and her face would be all powdery.  

Climbing a deer stand.  

 Sierra found a deer foot and enjoyed chewing, throwing, burying and digging it up.  

Ok, to properly understand and appreciate the next pictures, you should know that one of the owners of this lodge is an avid hunter.  Avid might not even be strong enough of a word.  Obsessive?  in a good way. maybe.  Point is, he has taken excursions all over the world (africa to be specific) and has now hunted and stuffed so many animals he has a whole addition on his other house that has been classified as a museum (for tax purposes).  These pictures will give you a taste of some of them, but he also has an elephant, rhino, giraffe, a 7+ piece lion display and much more.  Cah-Ray-ZEE!

 He filled all the coffee table space with these antlers, otherwise known as deadly weapons

Coyote skins

 

 

 Karlina's reaction included both intrigue and terror....but she warmed up to the zebra after a while.  Though she refused to touch it.  

 

 This is my deer brother and his deer wife being silly. 

 

 Playing games! 

 The drive home. 

Sierra stayed quiet the whole time.  She travels well.  

 Topped off the trip with a fabulous sunset. 

 ...and the icicle gets longer.

 fun times with the kids.  

 Once again, mysterious and continuous flushing brought me to the bathroom to catch this wide-eyed cutie red-handed.  

 He's becoming more stable on his feet!

 My good friend Tanya took a *long lunch* and accompanied me, Crystal and the kiddos out to the wedding dress alterations place to make the final pick-up!  And even though we got her back to work late, she still kept a smile on! Love ya Tanya! 

 Crystal keeping Miss K entertained

 

Brenda (dress lady) let Karlina try on a tiara.  She was so enthralled and kept saying how she was a princess and needed a pretty dress like Auntie!  =)

 Unfortunately the dress had a few minor finishing touches and wasn't able to be picked up that day.  But the next morning, I made the 35 min trek up to get it with my good friend/surrogate mother Mary.  SO THE DRESS IS FINALLY IN MY POSSESSION!

 Now for a cute story.  Once upon a time, I road tripped to IL to attend a friends wedding AND pick up a new puppy.  Two of my aunts got two of her litter mates.  A few weekends ago Ben and I went BACK to IL for ANOTHER friend's wedding and took Sierra with us for a reunion with her brother Tristan!

 

 Here they are as puppies, tussling around in the yard

 

And here they are as one-year-olds.  Good ol' Sierra still on top.  Though Tristan held his own. 

 Yeah, she's a little...um...playful.

 LOOK HOW LONG THAT THING IS!!  pretty much deadly if it ever came loose and you were standing underneath it.

 Here I am with half of my possessions moving out of the loft!  

So sad to be leaving it behind as it was a superb location and a great spot to start my time in MN.  But I'm also excited to move on with the adventure of my life and start a new chapter in the new house with the new boy.  =)

 Don and Ben unloading our new sofa!! So exciting!

 Ben and his brother Joe assembling the dresser

 Don and Ben built this amazing contraption from an x-pen and 2x4s.  It sections off part of the basement for Sierra so she can have her own little area to be in when I'm gone at work!  SO. PERFECT!  

A sweet house-warming gift from my friends from Bible study!  They went for an "It's a Wonderful Life" theme!

 Bread: That this house may never know hunger

 Salt: That life may always have flavor

 Wine: That joy and prosperity may reign forever

 This was a sweet little shower that Sheryl from church threw for me with some of the girls.  It was so sweet! 

 Got a Williams-Sonoma apron, flip-flops (which I can't wear for at least another month) and amazing Mary Kay hand care kit

 My future sisters-in-law got me some cute pajamas.  

 Then we got facials with homemade mixes.  Mine was egg white and lemon.  Rose had banana and honey.  

 Isn't a true spa day without cucumbers!

 Claire and Allison got oatmeal honey masks.  =)

 

 And yes, while winter seems ever-lasting and the whole "cute layers and fun scarves and jackets" thing lost its draw about 4.5 months ago...there are some sweet and beautiful moments too.  Like this sunset.  

Thank you, God for reminding me you're still here with me!

Well folks, hopefully you feel a little bit caught up with me in my life.  By next post, there should be sufficient pictures of the house!  It is really cute and I am loving it so far!

Thanks for your patience, and your continued support and love! 

au revoir!