peace and calm in a bottle.

"She approaches life with a quiet sense of calm.  

You instantly feel at peace in her presence."

Sounds like a pretty amazing description, huh.  

Where did i get this quote, you ask?  A devotional?  An encouraging word from a woman's Bible Study?  The description someone wrote of me in high school?  

Ha, that last one there is sort of laughable actually. 

Nope, it came from the back of my...get this...lotion bottle.  Yup.  I was sitting in church using some of my Lavender Chamomile Lotion, happened to glance at the back, and those were the words right at the top.  

Right below it read:

"She loves this relaxing, lavender and chamomile lotion because it does more than just moisturize.  Its unique formula, with an exclusive blend of soothing essences, helps her unwind and feel pampered as she massages her cares away.

Her spirit is beautifully serene.  Her skin loves JOHNSON."

Wow.  

This actually caught me off guard.  baffled me.  I read it like three times to see if I read it correctly the first time.  

I don't...I mean, I can't...I'm just...

speechless.

What poor, sad, lonely woman (or man, I suppose) wrote this? 

Who feels at peace smelling a lotion.  Since when can moisturizing your skin all the sudden cause a serene and calm spirit?

I mean, the only times that I have approached life with a quiet sense of calm, when my spirit is beautifully serene and when people feel at peace in my presence is when I'm basking and believing in the love of my Heavenly Father. 

Seriously!  No amount of rubbing this lotion on me would ever produce those results.  I mean, don't get me wrong...it is a marvelous lotion and one of my favorites.  But my spirit has felt truly beautifully serene and it had nothing to do with something I rubbed on my skin. 

How empty one's life must be to think that some sort of man-orchestrated recipe (lotion, yoga, spa-day, money, shopping trip etc...) could lead to true peace, calm and serenity.  Feeling pampered is not the same as feeling all those things.  I can tell you that.  I have felt both.

And nothing compares to the peace that surpasses my understanding that I have only felt at the hand of the Holy Spirit. 

But I have to say, it DID inspire me.  

Not to wear more of this lotion...although its scent is calming.

But read those first two lines I wrote again:

She approaches life with a quiet sense of calm.

You instantly feel at peace in her presence.

Oh how my heart longs to be described that way.  Most of my growing up years, these words didn't even come close to describing me.  I approached life scratching and clawing.  Not believing people when they said they loved me and I mattered.  I always needed to be best, to be ahead, to be more liked, to get more attention.  People didn't feel at peace in my presence.  They felt on guard, they felt like they needed to be ready for my sarcasm or loud, boisterous jabbering about who knows what. 

I have changed in the last few years.  I don't always need to be center of attention.  I can sit and listen instead of always giving my two cents.  I don't always need the last word to feel important.  I can let my husband tell an entire story for 45 minutes and not even interrupt him or butt in once!  People are my friends longer now and seem to actually enjoy being with me.  And all the credit goes to God for that.

But sometimes I still don't feel anything like that description at all.

One of my favorite verses that God has really used to teach me this lesson over and over is:  

Be still and know that I Am God.  

This is a struggle for me.  To just be still and know God.  To not need anyone else's attention or approval.  To believe the truths God says about me in his Word.  To be so secure in who I am before Him, that I don't need to scratch and claw to be someone that everyone likes.

Just...Shhhh.

Me:  But God, That is so hard for me to do!  If I don't say anything they won't know how I'm feeling or my opinion or how much it affects me.

God:  Suzy...shhhh.  Just sit quiet with me.  Remember who you are, to me.  Remember what I say about my children.  I rejoice over you with singing.  I will never leave you or forsake you.  My peace I give to you, not as the world gives it.  

We have that conversation frequently.  And even though I've taken baby steps forward to learning, believing and becoming a woman with a truly beautiful and serene spirit...I am still a work in progress.  But hey, what else is life for?  

God's so good and gracious to me. 

Ok, on to pics!

The other day we went boating.  The guys swam.  I did not. 

This is a 16" pizza.  Those are Ned's hands.  So each his hands have a 9" spread, and when he crosses his thumbs, it measures 16" inches... supposedly.  But the guy is really smart, so I really couldn't argue with him...and it matched the pizza, so...there's that.

And it was quite a yummy pizza at that.  four of us polished that bad boy off.

That is Ned.  He used to be a roommate of my brother's back in the day, and his family is good friends with Ben's family.  A double connection!

Pulling up the anchor, Ned discovered it was loaded down with lots of plantage. 

Ben assisted.

It was really heavy.  I can attest. 

Our faithful driver, Don.

Mmm I love boating with Ben.  Well, I actually love everything with Ben.  

Life is better with him.

Sunset on the drive home.

last week we went to the lake just three blocks from our house with the nieces and nephew from both sides of the family!  Ben's mom and brother and sister came down, and i picked up Miss K and Ender for the day!

This is Maria.  She is a little firecracker.  Spunky and adorable!

And this little man...growing up so fast!  Such a joy to play with!

Joe and Rose were attempting to build a sand castle, but the kiddos found smashing it with tiny feet was more fun!

Miss K was quite the sandcastle builder.  Quite precise and dedicated.  like both of her parents ;)

Snack break!

She's pretty proud of her little creations!

Final product!  It was truly a great sand castle!

Didn't have a swim diaper for Ender...so he started sagging.  Oh my it was so funny to watch him walk.

Or should I say waddle!

Almost fell over a few times when he bent down.  it was a heavy diaper!

Couldn't keep Karlina out of the water! she absolutely loved floating around! 

Her and Maria are good buddies! 

So blessed am I to have such wonderful nieces and nephew...and in-laws! 

until next time!