back on track. hopefully.

I feel like most of my posts lately have started with apologies for how lazy I've been in blogging.  So I'll spare you another apology and jump right into the blog.  

Before we get to all the news and updates, I'm going to share something with you.  The other night I was at work doing some side work as I prepared to wrap up my shift.  there was a group of people sitting at a table not far from me, talking, laughing and drinking.  I wasn't purposely eavesdropping, but they were talking so loudly it was unavoidable.  

There is a line in one of my favorite praise songs that says, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours."  

And in that moment, I knew what that meant.  my heart was hurting and breaking from hearing them talk.  Working and living in the "real world" means I'm exposed to a lot of language, crude conversation, spiteful words, bitter people, angry responses etc... but I normally I just cringe on the inside and keep going.  and if I'm honest, the more i'm exposed, the less I cringe.  But for some reason, I was more in tune with this conversation and every swear word, crude comment and misuse of God's name just hit me like a little dart.  

I got a tiny taste of what God must feel when he overhears these conversations...AND he even knows the hearts behind it. I can't even imagine.  And it wasn't judgment I was feeling, it was a deep and overwhelming sadness at how lost these people were.... 

...and they didn't even know or care!

all the sudden,  I realized that I have invested in relationships with people just like this.  All of the sudden, I had this burning urge to go and share everything I know about the love of God with these people.  I love and care about so many people that are lost.  God loves so many more people that are lost.  and they have no clue.  what do I do with this?  how are there SO MANY people who don't know how incredible my Jesus is?  

I was recently explaining to someone why I couldn't end up marrying a non-Christian.  Let me tell you, it is really challenging to tell someone that when it comes down to picking between a guy and Jesus, I WILL choose Jesus every time.  And then trying to explain how this man has captured my heart and why I will stay dedicated to him no matter how great some guy is.  How do I communicate my brokenness, forgiveness, redemption, hope and salvation to someone who doesn't even believe He exists or is in need of Him?  

at the end of my explanation to this person, their response was, "Yeah, I'll admit, I don't understand at all why you do that..." 

CS Lewis, of course, said something that helps me when I get frustrated when people don't understand, "A man CAN accept what Christ has done without knowing how it works: indeed he would not know how it works until he has accepted it."

So I don't need to convince people how it works...because you can't understand it until you experience it.  I can only show you Christ the best way I know how...by his love shining through me. 

There is another song that says, "Give me your eyes for just one second, give me your eyes so I can see everything that I keep missing, give me your love for humanity.  Give me your arms for the broken hearted, the ones that are far beyond my reach, give me your heart for the one's forgotten..."  

When I ask that of God...to have His eyes and heart for these people, it comes with knowing.  knowing the lost, the sadness, the hurt, the depravity...

knowing the answer and solution for it...

knowing that so many are not open to it...

"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

so if you're reading this and you don't understand why or how Jesus can be my number one choice in life over everything... give him a chance.  don't be so easily pleased.  your heart wants something more.  it was MADE for something more.  seek it out.

 my heart for sharing Jesus with you and the world isn't from a place of how many people I can convert...or how amazing of a Christian witness I could be...  But it comes from a heart that is breaking for people.    

Jesus himself even said, "come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.  For I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls... for my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

don't you want rest?

we've all felt it (Christ-followers or not)...unrest, uneasiness, panic, fear, hopelessness, uncertainty, blame, guilt, brokenness...just plain lost. 

There is only one fix to this problem.  

only one. 

“God can't give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing.” 

“I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?”  

 “Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.” 

so after hearing that conversation among those people, I couldn't just walk up and share Jesus with them...I was at work, and that would not fly with my bosses...and most people don't appreciate that approach.  so I prayed.  

“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.” 

God change me into a vessel that communicates your love to a hurting broken world.  I am not here to save the world...you already did that.  I am just here as your servant, sharing with people what has been shared so freely with me.  

(all quotes are from CS Lewis.  did I mention I love him!?)

I'm a little unmotivated to re-organize my photos, So i'll just caption as they are posted. 

 Miss Sierra is getting so big!  When i'm at J&K's house, she is tied to a stake in the yard, and just chills outside.  She has actually dug a hole over underneath the concrete slab that she likes to sleep in.  Unfortunately, she does so right after I give her a bath.  *sigh*

 

So my friends Crystal and Tanya have friends who belong to a theme-party club.  Each couple or person takes a turn hosting a themed party.  This month was a Dutch party. And I inadvertently got invited!  It was so much fun! we ate dutch food, played LOTS of dutch blitz, made some dutch hats, read about holland....it was really really fun.  I like the idea. Some day when I'm grown up, I'll join a themed party club.  

Another pic of Sierra on our nightly walk around the city.  

 The other night, we made home-made pizzas.  Ben and I got inspired to make an olive/palm tree out of fresh mozzarella and kalamata olives. aesthetically pleasing AND yummy.  

 This blur is Sierra playing with her good friend Dexter.  Dex is a Golden Retriever/Samoyed mix.  gorgeous dog, almost 2 years old.  He's quite a bit bigger than Sierra, but they have SO MUCH FUN together.  Pretty much non-stop wrestling and just being mischievous puppies. Dex's owners will often have Sierra over for a playdate when I'm working a long shift.  By the time I get home, Sierra is so pooped.  

ZOO DAY!!!

 Krissa, the kidlets and I went to Como zoo and met up with one of Kris' friends Erika and her son Weston, who is Big Sister's age.

 Karlina and Weston had an interesting relationship.  Karlina is very outgoing, friendly and a little flirty.  Weston wasn't quite sure what to do with all the affection. 

 Watching the bears swimming in water. 

 finally, Weston warmed up and HE grabbed HER hand on our way out of the Polar Bear exhibit.  Completely at random, without parental prompting.  it was so sweet!  

 Baby Brother was so good all day!  he just snoozed either in his carrier or the stroller.  Such a sweetie! 

 Between these two pictures, Sierra looks SO different!  The top one she looks so grown up.  The bottom one, she looks so puppy-ish.  They were taken two days apart.  She's such a fun presence to have around! 

We sometimes go over to the Mogler's and hang out.  They have a fenced in backyard, so Sierra can run free and enjoy herself.  They also have a pool...which is covered right now and has several inches of water on it.  Sierra has so much fun running through it and splashing and chasing leaves.  Her Lab side is coming out!  the dog loves water!! 

The picture below just shows her curly Husky tail.  I love it. 

This may seem random.  But I pass this sign on my way to work...aaand I really want to go see it.  it's a MUSICAL about St.Paul's gangster history.  The men featured in the musical (Alvin "Creepy" Karpis and the Ma Barker Gang are criminals who ended up in Alcatraz...and their escape attempts were what got me interested in criminal justice...) How random and awesome is that?  I think I'm going to go see it.  

These two pictures are from work.  The top one is our ticket stabber after a REALLY busy night at work.  Those are all drink tickets.  Everything from cappuccinos, lemonade, beer, cocktails, wine etc...all gets sent to the bar.  our ticket stabber rarely gets THAT full.  

The picture below is the garnish collection.  We have to garnish our own drinks.  Lemons, limes, oranges, cherries, olives (regular and blue cheese stuffed), twists, blueberries,  pepperoni, pepperoncinis, cherry tomatos and grapes.  You can't see all of them in this pic, but it's such a pretty display of little fruits and vegetables.  Sometimes when its slow, we'll sneak some of them =)

Below is depicted a typical Big Sister conversation. happens dozens of times a day.

 

 "Where'd it go?"  (she says this pretty well on her own. puts her hands up in question)

Then the finger goes to the lip and she says, "Hmmm" as if thinking about it.

then we giggle about it.  =)  She is such a doll.  And she's starting to love seeing me when I come over or at church.  She'll come running and give me hugs and kisses.  I love being one of her favorite people =D 

I shall try not to take so long in updating...("try" being the operative word...)

au revoir.