undeserved blessings.

Yesterday was quite the day for me.  It started out well enough...I was on time for church, I had a great day planned, there were a number of visitors-it just seemed like it would be a fantastic day.  The one catch was that I was on-call for work.

Being on-call is the bane of my restaurant-working existence.  You don't find out until around 2 pm the DAY OF if you're working or not.  And it is completely and totally unpredictable.  Every single shift has an on-call server scheduled, "just in case."  It makes planning anything really difficult.  You can't commit, because you might have to back out halfway through your day.  But if you clear your entire afternoon and don't get called in, then you're left with a really empty day.  I'm not saying it's a flaw in the system.  It is a necessity, and I understand why it is in place...but I would be lying if I didn't say it caused some inconvenience in my life. (But when was I ever promised a convenient life?  ha. never. )

So as 2 pm neared, I was checking my phone to see if I got that fateful text regarding my working status for the afternoon.  This was the text I hoped to see:

Schedule Modified.

Schedule,

Del)8/12 @2:00P

Store 52

Rewind to around noon when we gathered back in church to stand up front and sing.  It is one of my favorite parts of the day, as I love singing a lot.  Halfway through, I really wanted to sing this one song for some reason.  So I leaned over and asked the song leader if he would pick #5 for our sit-down song. (after we stand up and sing, we sit down and sing one more song). Well after a few more songs, we sat down, and he didn't pick it.  I'll be honest, I was kind of annoyed.  He either has a really bad memory or was completely ignoring my request. I didn't think he forgot...but he isn't the type to just blatantly blow me off like that either.

The rest of the service passed.  It was about Jesus and his life/ministry/death/resurrection and how it was all an honor and glory to who he was/is.  And he said something to the effect of, "If we don't give glory and honor to God, the Bible says even the rocks will cry out...because he must be glorified!"

After he was done, said song leader calls #5.

"Praise ye the Lord, He is King over all the Creation.  Praise thou the Lord, oh my soul, as the God of Salvation.  Come and rejoice, lift up your heart and your voice. Praise him in true adoration.  

Praise ye the Lord, who in glorious majesty reigneth;  Beareth thee upwards on wings like the eagle's sustaineth.  He can provide, after thine own heart's delight, what to thy welfare pertaineth.  

Praise to the Lord, oh let all that is in me adore Him!  All that have breath sing with Abraham's children before Him.  He is our light, fountain of glory and might, Peace to my spirit restoring."

It was so perfect.  Later when I thanked him for giving off the song, he said, "I couldn't not give it off, it fit so perfectly with what [the preacher] said."  He didn't know what was going to be preached on...none of us did.

I was ashamed.  God knew the timing of that song and how well it would fit and how it would speak to hearts more adequately after the sermon.  I was sitting there annoyed with the song leader...all the while, for some reason (the Spirit?), he waited to pick it.  Wow.  I felt dumb for having been annoyed with the song leader.

Back to being on call.  Right after that amazing moment in church, I got the text that said:

Schedule modified. 
Schedule, 
Mod)8/12 @ 5:30P
Store 52

And immediately the blessings of the previous moments were forgotten.  I was called into work and it inconvenienced me.

Looking back, I grumbled quite a bit.  it's embarrassing actually.  I should have just graciously gone into work, knowing that these things don't happen on accident.  I will not miss out on the good things God has for me.  If those good things are at work, then I need to trust that being called in will be a good thing.

Back to me grumbling. a lot.  people were commiserating, changing some plans around so I could join them later, and one good friend said, "Suzy, you're going to be fine."

Of course I was.  But I couldn't see it in the moment.

I got home, got ready for work, and proceeded to walk out the door. I'm not five steps outside my door when all the sudden my phone rings:

Brent (names changed): Hey Suzy it's brent.
Me: Oh hey! what's up?
Brent:  I'm gonna start crying
Me: What? Oh no! why, what happened?
Brent: Well I'm not gonna get to work with you tonight
Me: Wait, yeah you are, I got call--WHAT?!  you mean this is the call to get called off my on-call that I got called in on?
Brent:  *laughs* Yup.  Nothing's happening around here, so you don't have to come in!
Me: WOOHOO!!! I mean, yeah I'm sad I won't work with you too, but NOT REALLY!  thanks so much!

And as I turned around to go change and head out for my fun evening, all my giddy excitement turned to sheepishness as I realized that God had just given me a gift and I was completely undeserving.  My attitude had been terrible.  I considered the situation done, over and hopeless.  I forgot that God can do amazing and unexpected things all the time.  Tears filled my eyes as I turned to Him and said, "I'm so sorry...I don't deserve this at all.  I am truly grateful for how patient you are and how you keep on giving me gifts and blessings that are totally unwarranted."

He looked at me with a simile and said back, "I did this on purpose.   You were so vocal about how unhappy you were not once, but TWICE today.  So I gave you unexpected blessings both times.  That exposed and uncomfortable feeling was intended to turn you back to me.  It was a reminder that I'm still here, because you seemed to have temporarily forgotten that.  I'm just excited that your heart changed and that you are grateful now.  So remember this for next time...you won't lose out on ANYTHING that I have for you.  Walk with me and there is no missing out...because where we go together, there is joy and blessing no matter if it's at work, with friends, in the Siberian wilderness or in a hostile prison."

I ended up going and hanging out with friends, celebrating a birthday, eating yummy pizza, playing games, laughing, sharing stories and having an overall fantastic night.  Whatever God had for me in that evening, it was with those people at that time.  (same as if I had gone to work).

It was a little painful to my pride.  But I think it'll make me think twice before complaining so much next time (hopefully!).

Here's a few pictures from today.  Another undeserved blessing is the amount of time i spend with these kiddos.

 she gets so alert when she sees or hears something.  

 Look how ridiculously gorgeous the other day was!  This is in the dog park.  Just open space, trees, grass, and cloud-mottled blue skies above.  So peaceful. 

 Pictures from our walk around.

 Me and Karlina singing.  

 Ender in his Bumbo, Karlina tickling his feet.  He's not quite sure what to think.

 He's such a stud.  seriously...look at that face.  

 Playing with the fake giraffe at the zoo 

 a chillin' Ender-Benender.  

 "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"

 Playing in the back of Auntie's truck.

Shhhhhh.  

=) 

Happy Monday night to you all!