walking on the strand.

I honestly could NOT think of a title. (even after writing the whole blog...)
So I decided to name it something that I miss doing due to being in Minnesota.

Wow...it's the end of January and I haven't blogged all that much. But I have an excuse with the whole moving thing.

I would have posted before this...but I haven't been doing a whole lot, so there wasn't much to write about.

BUT TODAY warrants a post.

Well let me back up. Sunday after church I had an amazing opportunity given to me by a good friend. He has certain connections to a certain Christian band who needed people to sing for their next record. So I went and sang with a bunch of other people and if you listen to Tenth Avenue North, you'll probably hear my voice on some of their tracks of their new album!

THEN, said friend also hooked me up with two tickets to TAN's concert that night (along with MercyMe, Sidewalk Prophets, Lecrae and others!). I took my cousin Dan and we had a fabulous evening! SUCH a blessing. I love live music so much! Especially when you get hundreds of people all singing praises to God in unison. *sigh* Thanks again, Ry...i know you work with these people a lot, and you see lots of live concerts...but you have no idea how much that meant to me!

Back to today....

first of all, it was 45 degrees. And it felt SO mild that I actually rolled down the windows (turned up the heater), cranked the music and drove all around. I dropped off a resume at another restaurant I wanted to work at...sat at a Starbucks for an undisclosed amount of time...and then I just drove.

One of my absolute favorite things to do is drive while listening to music. I loved it especially in LA because everything is so different and there are always fascinating things to see. But I realized there is a lot to see in St. Paul too! I just started driving and turning and turning and driving and it was fabulous! I saw lots of amazing things, listened to great music and just got a little more familiarized with the city I'm living in!

Anyway...last week, I stopped by a restaurant that I want to work at, and they told me they are hiring and to come back this week and talk to their hiring manager. So this afternoon I stopped by and turns out, she is interested in me and we're gonna meet on Friday and talk about it! Interview I guess?

I'm pretty excited! We'll see if it pans out...but in the meantime, keep praying!

Hmm...I guess the next big thing is actually moving into the loft. WOOHOO!

Basically, through all the unknowns and doubts I've had...one thing is true. God is good, all the time. And he is by my side through everything. (and I'm not just saying that because I got a job interview. because I still have tough things I'm dealing with and working through)

Sorry there are no pics on this one. surprising, i know! Oh well..there will be more soon, as I'm moving and spending more time with my niece!

right responses.

A balmy day...highs low 40's.

It was so beautiful. I never thought my mouth would be saying it...never thought my body would feel it...but it was a gorgeous day.

I sat in the kitchen, reading my Jesus Calling devotional. In the busyness of the moving, I haven't read it for a few weeks. And this morning, I just decided to get back to it. And of course, God just blew my mind.

because today's devotional addressed exactly what I've been struggling with.

As confident, joyful, happy, etc...that I have been since moving here...I am still without a job. And honestly, in my quiet moments, it gives me cause for concern. I mean, God called me here, it's supposed to work out smoothly.

First two lines of the devotional: Give up the illusion that you deserve a problem-free life. Part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties.

*crickets chirping*

Um...way to know my innermost thoughts, God.

Honestly, it was exactly the encouragement I needed. I have head knowledge that God is trustworthy...I even say it with my mouth, "Yup, I'm just trusting God as I face the unknowns."
While in my heart I'm sitting, head in my hands, "What will i do if I don't get a job. What happens if I have these extra bills to pay and I don't have an income?" That trust in God isn't making a connection to my innermost being. I still have doubts. Not because I doubt God...I mean, I've seen what he's done before.

Let me put it to you this way.

I am beginning to have a little more understanding for those frustrating Children of Israel. They experienced the provision of God time and time again, and yet they still grumbled when things got tough...as if they had completely forgotten. At the time, I thought they were so stupid. But I find myself in the same place at times. Having experienced the amazing provision of God...and yet still wondering and worrying over what isn't just perfect.

And then you know what God did for me EVEN when he knew of my doubtful heart? He crossed my paths with a girl here. One who offered her time, her Bible study, her friendship.

Wow...he gave me a gift...a reassurance, even when I was doubting. How is he so good all the time?

Anyway, one of the last lines of the devotional says, "I am much less interested in right circumstances than in right responses to whatever comes your way."

Alright, God. Here we go. Beginning of right responses. You've taken care of me so far...way beyond what I could expect. I choose to trust you again. Thank you for your patience with me as I forget this at times.

And just because she is also a reminder of God's goodness and provision and guiding...

(well that and she's just so adorable!)

at a loss. or not?

After a nice morning of sleeping in and taking my time getting ready, I bundled up and headed out the door to make something of my day.

In the driveway, I faced a frozen Simon. Snow and ice on his windows, mud on his running boards and a chill throughout his cab. *sigh* it took me a solid twenty minutes to get him ready to drive. Being the genius that I am, I realized that turning on the windshield defroster on full blast really helps melt the ice. Oh the things one learns when one lives where ice covers one's car.

Anyway, point of this blog post was to say, as I was braving the streets of St. Paul (garnering a parking ticket along with that), I literally asked myself, "What can you write about for your next blog?" I would look at people, buildings, talk to God...none of it was inspiring enough to write about here.

You know why I asked myself this question? Because there is pressure. I feel the pressure of all 60-some of my readers to post again soon. about something important, or funny, or inspiring. And I was feeling writers block. This fame thing isn't all its cracked up to be.

haha. just kidding.

I don't even know who 75% of my readers are. But that's ok. I'm down with the anonymity. -ish. (except when people post comments as "Anonymous" but don't leave me any sort of sign to figure out who they are...Like my parents know what to say so I know its them.)

Back to the subject of this post.

oh wait. there wasn't one.

Hmm...updates? Life is good. Really good. I'm enjoying staying with this family from church. I'm looking for jobs (4 applications filled out/turned in...and i think two more tomorrow). I am getting to know this city (and surrounding areas). I'm getting anxious to move into my own place and start a routine of life. (still working on finding a bed/mattress and sofa-challenging to do with no job).

I was going to do a pictureless post. but realized i DO have some pictures to share. So here they are.




On sunday evening, we went over to another family from church's house. And they have a pond out back of their house that is FROZEN. and they snow-plow a little rink in it and skate on it. AHH! I've skated before, but not on a pond. it was fabulous. Unfortunately, the skates I had on were a bit snug, so my feet were numb in a few minutes. Still, it was a blast.


Here I am, post skating...just sitting on a folding chair. ON ICE. it's really so cool that we were on a body of water.

side note: all these fun winter things excite me at times. Every time I see snow, I want to run and shove a fist-full in my mouth. I really liked the skating on the body of water. I thought scraping ice was adventurous for the first 30 seconds.




One of Miss K's favorite things is to play with cords. of any kind. That day it was the car phone charger. We were playing peek-a-boo behind the loft door, and she kept grinning and laughing delightedly! Her happiness is SO contagious.

We continued this game where Mom would go inside, and we'd wait outside, and she'd knock and K would loooook at the door and then Mom would open it and She would just light up with giggles and smiles. Then we'd wave "bye-bye" and do it all over again. so much fun! Here's the play-by-play!


(first laugh as the door was opened)


("Say bye-bye Karlina!")


(action shot!)

Love this girl. Love how she just embraces life, full-force and delights in the smallest of things. She is like me in that she thrives on people-interaction and is a true social butterfly (who occasionally gets a random shy streak)

So I'll endure the ice, the cold, the layers, the slippery roads...all for this little girl.

I thank all 60-some of you for your dedication in reading...even when I lose my inspiring streak. This post ended up being a little more put-together than I had originally seen it to be. time to modify the title.
Au Revoir blogspot world.

Welcome to the Arctic of North America

This is the post you've all been holding your collectively baited breath for, I'm sure.

As I write, I'm sitting in the loft that will soon be mine... it is three degrees...there are snow flurries falling outside the window over downtown St. Paul...Karlina is down for her nap and is talking quietly to herself instead of sleeping...My heart is happy to be here.

Let me start at the beginning. Me and Mom took off Monday night at 7:45 after a fantastic dinner at The Boat (family favorite, California-unique). Oh, tragic side-note...when I went outside to say goodbye to dear Tylee, she was nowhere to be found. Apparently, the gate was left cracked just enough that she was able to pull it open and escape. She didn't have her collar/tag on, for whatever reason....and she wasn't coming when called. We didn't have time to look for her then, as we wanted to get on the road. So I never got to say goodbye. And then on top of that, she was missing for a good three days...we didn't know if she had been hit by a car, or if someone took her in or what happened. the Humane Society didn't have any record of her. Long story short (you can ask the details some other time), our neighbor ended up finding out where she was and got her back for us. Whew. that was not how I wanted to leave my dog.

Anyway.

We set out and drove all the way to Sterling Colorado...got there about two the following afternoon. Stayed the night, and set out the next day for Des Moines, IA. The temperatures fluctuated on our trip from -13 in the Colorado Mountains to a balmy 45 in Nebraska.


The Mountain passes through the ski towns (Vail, Breckenridge, Copper mountain etc...) were GORGEOUS. but a little scary.

and muddy.


Poor Simon has never been so filthy. (by the way, Subway serves a good breakfast flat-bread thing. yummy.)



A bit unsure of what to think when there was a big, fat ZERO on my temperature gauge. ugh...reality hit quick. Pumping gas was a nightmare. my california-ized fingers and nose were NOT ready for this.

Then in Nebraska where the weather wasn't freezing (or below), we decided to wash Simon at the local car wash.


Ahhh. He was so pretty. seriously.


Well that is pretty much all the pictures I have from the actual road trip. I was too busy taking it all in. And napping. Turns out, I really REALLY love sleep. My mom is a road-tripping warrior...so she drove a LOT...and I slept. I have no shame in this. My dad said it is better to be safe than sorry, and I just can't drive through the night without getting drowsy.

Thursday afternoon, we arrived in St. Paul, MN. Honestly, i was SO excited. For those of you who haven't been here...it is a pretty fantastic city (even with the lack of color). After driving through a LOT of rural towns, I was grateful to be back in the city. I have nothing against those towns, It would just take a lot for me to live there. and St. Paul is an old, quaint, bustling city.


This is the view from outside my loft windows. There is a park right across the street, and at night it is all lit up with twinkly lights in the trees. There are lots of fun downtown buildings that look great at night too.


This right here is my best friend. Better known as the Skyway. It is on the second floor of most buildings in Downtown and connects them all so you can walk INSIDE all around. There are little shops, restaurants, businesses, banks, dentists all along the way. And it connects to my building too. Goal: get a job in a connected building so i NEVER HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE.

genius.


Ironically, I arrived on pretty much the coldest day of the season so far. As my brother put it, "It's almost poetic." ...almost. So my really wonderful sister-in-law took me coat shopping. we went into a MACY'S (I emphasize that because we have those at home) and they had a WHOLE SECTION dedicated to winter coats. Seriously, the most expansive selection I've ever seen. When I joked about California not selling Minnesota coats, I didn't realize how accurate I was. All lengths, colors, fur-types, buttons, zippers, levels of filling...all of it. So I finally found a coat that was toasty warm, went all the way to my knees and had all the fantastic bells and whistles (or should I say pockets and clasps).


Ta-DA!!!! It really is a marvelous piece of clothing.



Now on to the pictures you all have been waiting for ;)


She's got the cutest eskimo coats. this baby knows how to do winter in style.



We've actually done a fair amount of bonding so far...and we are getting along great. I am so thankful for that. She is SO sweet. Although her method of kissing right now includes an open mouth and an affectionate (and really sharp) chomp on your cheek. We're working on that.


One of her favorite things to do is watch One Republic and Coldplay music videos and dance to them. This picture doesn't show it, but she'd move back and forth and sway and clap her hands. SO CUTE.

Anyway...I know you're all dying to see pics of the loft...but those will come when I actually move in. J&K are waiting for their townhome to be completed, so until then I am staying with a family from church. After I move in and get things settled, I'll take pictures and post them! And be prepared for an inundation of Karlina pictures. I seriously love this little girl a lot.

Thanks for all you who prayed for us during this trip. Please don't stop. The reality of me actually moving here and calling it my own still hasn't hit me. I'm super excited for the next steps of life in the frozen north.

More later! =)

playing catch-up.

Alright. I'm sitting in a hotel room babysitting two little boys that I just met. Jacob is nine months old and in the crib whimpering himself to sleep. Britton is 4 and is watching Tarzan. So i have a lot of time to update this blog. and let me tell you...it will be lengthy. with lots of pictures...and stories. =)

First, I have to tell you what this adorable 4-year-old told me tonight. Here are a few quotes from the evening.

We're sitting at dinner and he comes up to me and whispers, "I love you. and you're beautiful. I want to marry you. Well you and my mom and actually everyone. Except Emmett. Because he's a boy. and I can't marry a boy. well, his voice sounds like a girl, but he's really a boy."

*we're walking holding hands*
Me: Ok you can watch a movie while I feed Jacob and put him to sleep
Brit: Do you have milk in your belly to feed Jacob? Because my mom, she has milk in her belly and that is how she feeds Jacob.
Me: No, you have to have a baby to feed him that way. Your mom had jacob and that is how she feeds him like that. I haven't had a baby so I have to feed him from a bottle.
Brit: Well how about we pray to God to give you a baby so you can feed her from your belly.
*stops walking, lets go of my hand and folds his hands*
Brit: Dear God, can you please send Miss Suzy a baby girl so she can feed her from her belly? Thank you. *looks up at me all excited* Miss Suzy! God's gonna send you a baby girl because I just prayed for him to!

He was messing with the TV remote and I said, "Britton, don't touch, don't touch...can you give it to me please?" to which he responded, "you sound just like my mom."

I asked him to take off his clothes to change into his pajamas and he said, "Can you not look at me? You're a stranger and you're not supposed to look at my private parts."
His parents have trained him well. I reassured him that I would not look.


Here they are =)

All I know is these kids are precious. We're having fun tonight. Ok on to the rest of the post.


Christmas time. I was in Arizona for almost two weeks...the thursday before Christmas til the tuesday after New Years. my mom's ENTIRE side of the family was there. All the cousins, in-laws, nieces...it was fabulous.


This is me and Amy, my sister-in-law. I like her a lot.

One of the days (post quadding accident) we all (and i mean...we ALL) went to the Zoo.


We were walking around the gift-shop waiting til the parents go there to pay for our tickets in. Then one of our group walked up and said, go to the front and say, "We are one of the 9" and they'll give you a stamp. So we all walked up one-by-one and said that. It felt like a secret society. So we all did a hand-stamp circle to show our brotherhood.


First animal exhibit was the flamingos. They were beautiful. We decided that if one were to have a flamingo drumstick it would probably look something like a cake pop.


Like that. hehe



Then I tried my hand...err...leg at being a flamingo. Turns out, balancing on one leg while being so graceful is harder than it looks.



Then came the giraffes. so fun to see and feed. but after that day i will never see giraffes the same.




crazy long tongue action going on. It's like, if their neck wasn't long enough, they can still get almost a foot farther. haha




I actually learned that day that giraffes have a special brain sponge that kicks into gear when they bend down. Because of the length of their neck, their hearts have to pump blood much more powerfully to make it to their brain. So when they bend down, if all that blood goes that fast to their brain, it would explode. so this little sponge filters it so that it doesn't overload their brain. crazy.


Feeding the Lory birds. They are marvelous. But you can only feed them for 15 minutes cuz supposedly apples go through them quick and then they start dropping the nasty.


My beautiful mumzy feeding her bird.


Moving along to Christmas time.


My adorable niece, Karlina, opening her gift from great-grandma Johanna.



My adorable niece playing peek-a-boo.



My adorable niece being...well...adorable.




Christmas dinner at Aunt Laurie and Uncle Herbie's house. All of us around one table. Minus Johnny and Amy who had to return to their job at Gateway in Indiana. =(



Super classy. Turns out, my Aunt Laurie has got superb taste in table decor. and every decor for that matter.


I love these fabulous girl cousins of mine!


One day all of us ladies got dressed to go out for tea to celebrate Grandma's birthday.


This group of women right here mean so much to me. They embody love, hospitality, wisdom, hard work, faithfulness, character and most importantly, godliness.



Then New Years rolled around and I got to spend it with these two wonderful girls, Tasha and Heather. They were my companions on my road-trip this summer.


See the wonderful hats we're wearing? Heather made those in one afternoon. both of them. MADE THEM. She is so talented.



Then it was the wedding of my dear childhood friend, Breana last weekend. So crazy that I'm now at that stage of life where all my friends are getting married...seems like just yesterday we were playing dress-up together.





One of my favorite things to do (even though I don't do it often) is to go to the Canyon right by my house. I spent hours of my childhood there...hiking, rock-hopping, playing airsoft with the boys. So fun.



Been fitting in all this great friend hang-out time. (patty, me, ana and jess) These are the girls from my book club. We aren't much of a book club anymore. But we still get together pretty regularly. I'm gonna miss them a lot.

And now for moving week updates. I am leaving next Tuesday. I began packing everything monday of this week.


These are my stacks of books and things that I'm taking with me. It didn't seem like I had that much until I pulled it all off the shelves and stacked it up.



Did a thrift store run and had so much to sort through. My mom has been wonderful about getting me all set up to move into my own place!



These are my dishes. Aren't they classy? $3.95. yeah. read it again. It's true.


4 for $4.95


4 @ $1.95 each.



white bathroom rugs ($1.95 each), little bedside rug ($3.95) and red kitchen rug ($3.95)

I also got my pots and pans at the same great deals, my mom gave me kitchen utensils, dish rags...Basically I'm all outfitted for my OWN PLACE! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!

*sigh* Most of my stuff is all packed now, we just have to fit it all in Simon. Poor boy is gonna be weighed down. Good thing he's super manly enough.

I'll be busy the next few days. My roommate from college is getting married this weekend and I have the honor of being one of her bridesmaids. I'm super excited, but starting tomorrow, I'll be pretty non-stop til I leave on Tuesday.

Right now, my prayers are filled with thankfulness to God at how amazing the past few weeks have been...praise for how smoothly this moving process is going so far, and the provision I've had to date...request for peace and a calmed spirit as I embark on this journey...and comfort as I know I'm gonna bawl my eyes out at some point when it all hits me.

...

I shall return. Don't give up on me! This whole moving thing takes a lot of my time.



But there will be fabulous pictures and stories and updates.



possibly tonight, as I have an 8 hour babysitting job and the kids will be sleeping a majority of the time!


=)

let me leave you with a few amazing cs lewis quotes. read them. a few times if that's what it takes. This man penned some deep, convicting, enlightening things. Take a moment and let the truth of them sink into your heart...and maybe ask God if they describe you, are able to change you or even just give you a little insight into yourself/someone else.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”


“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”


“A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is... A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in.”


“Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.”



“We may ignore, but we can nowhere evade the presence of God. The world is crowded with Him. He walks everywhere incognito.”


“My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust?”

obligatory "resolution" blogpost

Prepare to be disappointed. Because it is an obligatory post...not an actual heart-felt post.

I have no resolutions. Know why? Because in 13 days, my life changes significantly and I have no idea if a resolution made here and now is able to be kept there and then.

Por ejemplo: If I say my resolution this year is to run in Eaton Canyon weekly...well that would be one I can't keep after two weeks.

If I say I will get an extra dosage of Vitamin D whilst doing my devotions outside...that also poses some problems.

So you see? I cannot make a resolution.

But I can for sure make a To-Do list. I started this morning.



There it is. Pretty straight forward. and has much to be added to it.

These last 13 days are filling up SO quickly. I have lunch dates with friends, family events, weddings, church stuff, packing (which includes buying some stuff and getting rid of other stuff), and SO MUCH MORE.

It's ridiculous. And it will fly by SO fast. Today I was driving...it was 80 out. Clear as a bell. a PERFECT southern California day. And before I knew it, my eyes welled up.

I passed the 605, and memories of driving down to Biola or Downey came rushing back. Thoughts I had on that routine drive, music I listened too, phone calls I made/received...all of it, flooding my mind in a moment.

Traffic slowed as I approached the 57 and I was reminded of my Cal Poly days. My only two steady friends, Michelle and Chris. My Spanish teacher who sat on the floor in the hallway outside his office with me as I took the final because my alarm didn't go off and I missed it. Singing in a choir with forty-some people over the age of 65.

Whizzing by Upland, I remembered all the weeks we drove out there for Mrs. Lane's classes as well as Music Nights at FHB. my home school days are precious to me.

I arrived at my cousin's house to babysit and her two little girls welcomed me with open arms...Little A even called me by name!

When I got home, I took the dog to the canyon for a sunset walk. It was SO BEAUTIFUL. I cannot even describe it. hours of my childhood were spent in that canyon. I knew the rocks like the back of my hand. I could run/rock-hop from the Nature Center to the falls (over a mile) and never miss a beat...err...a rock. I love the way the cool air from the canyon mixes with the warm air from the outside the canyon, giving a constant, fascinating temperature shift.






I sat on a rock over looking the dry river-bed and watched the sun against the mountains go from softening golden yellow to cozy warm pink to deep orange. The smells of the foliage, rocks, dry river-bed all mingled to make a familiar, comforting scent. I was listening to Nickel Creek's "Out of the Woods" and
"Sweet Afton"

I wanted that moment to last for hours.


And in that moment...i must confess...I did not want to move at all.
In fact who would want to live anywhere else? People think LA and they think traffic, smog, crime etc... But that place, at that moment.... mmm, I sure hope God has something like the San Gabriel's at sunset in heaven.



This blog got way off topic from resolutions. I was just reminded today at how incredible my current home is. and basically, my only "resolution" would be to stay sane these next weeks and move with confidence that this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Honestly, I'm not sure if I should be grateful for the weather or be praying it turns nasty so that I won't mind leaving so much. *sigh*

I didn't mean that.

I'm really very grateful that God is blessing my last weeks here with such amazingness. He knows just what to do to make my heart smile.


So if you are from So Cal...enjoy each moment. Take a little bit of time and go outside and just soak it in. If you're not from here...well I'd suggest you look for cheap flights quick and come out. It's worth it...trust me.