A balmy day...highs low 40's.
It was so beautiful. I never thought my mouth would be saying it...never thought my body would feel it...but it was a gorgeous day.
I sat in the kitchen, reading my Jesus Calling devotional. In the busyness of the moving, I haven't read it for a few weeks. And this morning, I just decided to get back to it. And of course, God just blew my mind.
because today's devotional addressed exactly what I've been struggling with.
As confident, joyful, happy, etc...that I have been since moving here...I am still without a job. And honestly, in my quiet moments, it gives me cause for concern. I mean, God called me here, it's supposed to work out smoothly.
First two lines of the devotional: Give up the illusion that you deserve a problem-free life. Part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties.
*crickets chirping*
Um...way to know my innermost thoughts, God.
Honestly, it was exactly the encouragement I needed. I have head knowledge that God is trustworthy...I even say it with my mouth, "Yup, I'm just trusting God as I face the unknowns."
While in my heart I'm sitting, head in my hands, "What will i do if I don't get a job. What happens if I have these extra bills to pay and I don't have an income?" That trust in God isn't making a connection to my innermost being. I still have doubts. Not because I doubt God...I mean, I've seen what he's done before.
Let me put it to you this way.
I am beginning to have a little more understanding for those frustrating Children of Israel. They experienced the provision of God time and time again, and yet they still grumbled when things got tough...as if they had completely forgotten. At the time, I thought they were so stupid. But I find myself in the same place at times. Having experienced the amazing provision of God...and yet still wondering and worrying over what isn't just perfect.
And then you know what God did for me EVEN when he knew of my doubtful heart? He crossed my paths with a girl here. One who offered her time, her Bible study, her friendship.
Wow...he gave me a gift...a reassurance, even when I was doubting. How is he so good all the time?
Anyway, one of the last lines of the devotional says, "I am much less interested in right circumstances than in right responses to whatever comes your way."
Alright, God. Here we go. Beginning of right responses. You've taken care of me so far...way beyond what I could expect. I choose to trust you again. Thank you for your patience with me as I forget this at times.
And just because she is also a reminder of God's goodness and provision and guiding...
(well that and she's just so adorable!)
It was so beautiful. I never thought my mouth would be saying it...never thought my body would feel it...but it was a gorgeous day.
I sat in the kitchen, reading my Jesus Calling devotional. In the busyness of the moving, I haven't read it for a few weeks. And this morning, I just decided to get back to it. And of course, God just blew my mind.
because today's devotional addressed exactly what I've been struggling with.
As confident, joyful, happy, etc...that I have been since moving here...I am still without a job. And honestly, in my quiet moments, it gives me cause for concern. I mean, God called me here, it's supposed to work out smoothly.
First two lines of the devotional: Give up the illusion that you deserve a problem-free life. Part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties.
*crickets chirping*
Um...way to know my innermost thoughts, God.
Honestly, it was exactly the encouragement I needed. I have head knowledge that God is trustworthy...I even say it with my mouth, "Yup, I'm just trusting God as I face the unknowns."
While in my heart I'm sitting, head in my hands, "What will i do if I don't get a job. What happens if I have these extra bills to pay and I don't have an income?" That trust in God isn't making a connection to my innermost being. I still have doubts. Not because I doubt God...I mean, I've seen what he's done before.
Let me put it to you this way.
I am beginning to have a little more understanding for those frustrating Children of Israel. They experienced the provision of God time and time again, and yet they still grumbled when things got tough...as if they had completely forgotten. At the time, I thought they were so stupid. But I find myself in the same place at times. Having experienced the amazing provision of God...and yet still wondering and worrying over what isn't just perfect.
And then you know what God did for me EVEN when he knew of my doubtful heart? He crossed my paths with a girl here. One who offered her time, her Bible study, her friendship.
Wow...he gave me a gift...a reassurance, even when I was doubting. How is he so good all the time?
Anyway, one of the last lines of the devotional says, "I am much less interested in right circumstances than in right responses to whatever comes your way."
Alright, God. Here we go. Beginning of right responses. You've taken care of me so far...way beyond what I could expect. I choose to trust you again. Thank you for your patience with me as I forget this at times.
And just because she is also a reminder of God's goodness and provision and guiding...
(well that and she's just so adorable!)
2 comments:
heysoos,
He is soooo good! Knowing He's taking care of you helps when I'm missing you. Thanks for your faithful posting....and keep em coming!
143
Hey there, friend! I popped over to your blog because I wanted to personally say thanks SO much for the comment you left on my blog...and here, your post just spoke to my heart so much again. Seriously, I can relate to this post more than you could probably know. You have a great way with words, and I just wanted to really thank you for taking the time to send me such a sweet and encouraging comment!! Happy Friday!
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