Sunday, November 13, 2011

collector of my tears.

being home schooled, I had many wonderful opportunities to go on these fantastic field trips that most kids didn't get to go on. One of my favorites was to this museum called "The Holy Land Exhibition." It was this old house that had rooms of artifacts, maps and imported goods from the Holy Land that this man collected. there were a few people dressed in clothing from Jesus' time and they told about the culture surrounding the various Bible stories we know and love.

One of the little artifacts that I remember clearly was this little clay jar. it resembled more of a vase and looked something like this:


The woman who had on traditional Jewish clothing picked up this vase and would say, "This jar was for collecting tears. if someone died, they would take this jar, hold it up to their eye and let their tears fall into it. Then they would seal it up and bury it with their loved one as a reminder of how much they cared for that person."

I have this picture of her demonstrating it very clearly in my mind.

Today in church, we read Psalm 56. David wrote this psalm when he was taken by his enemies, the Philistines. It talks about him trusting God even when his enemies are around him and he feels oppressed. verse 8 caught my attention:

You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?

This imagery that David paints here is so precious to me. There are many times I feel as though my unsettled thoughts or tears can just happen and go unnoticed. But God keeps count of my tossings...and he puts my tears in his bottle. He holds each one and puts it in a jar because they are sacred, meaningful and important to him. the pain, healing, joy or sorrow that it represents in my life all gets held safely in his bottle and is recorded in his book.

for some reason, that is so comforting to me.

verses 9-11 show the confidence David had in God, because he knew that God could be trusted with his tossings and tears:

Then my enemies will turn back
in the day when I call.
This I know, that God is for me.
In God, whose word I praise,
in the LORD, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can man do to me?

I want this confidence. I want to trust my tears are in God's bottle and that he cares about them and what they mean for me. I want to believe and have faith that the God in whose Word I praise, is for me. Man cannot do anything to me.
I think about all the things that have made me cry involving other people:
slicing words.
a broken heart.
a spiteful and hateful spirit.
misunderstandings.
snubbing and loneliness.

but I shall not limit my life, afraid that these things might happen again. No situation will cause me to run with my tail between my legs. I won't become jaded and cynical. I won't become mistrusting and suspicious. I won't need to feel neglected or mistreated or forgotten.
Because I trust in God. Because he holds my tears in his bottle. and writes about them in his book. not only are they remembered, but they are cherished and cared for.



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's easier to convince yourself that no one sees you cry, than to trust that you are never alone. Good insight.